To ask for your experiences of living with a regular weed smoker?

[Bumpandkind]

My dh has smoked weed daily since I've known him and he now seems moodier and with a shorter temper than ever. I know these can be side effects but then they can also be side effects of daily life. I find I'm walking on eggshells more and more. Any experience of this or advice? Thanks

My husband smokes a single joint probably most nights. He's the least paranoid person I know, in fact he's almost relentlessly optimistic and uncomplicated. He is also as motivated as anyone. I don't see any issue with his smoking, to me it's no different morally from having a beer after a long day. He doesn't smoke in the house. On the occasional weekend I'll join him, and I don't see any issue with that either.

I smoke regularly too crucially I don't have children

It's my one vice I have left, and I am yet to be convinced it is uncivilised, especially with a glass of wine after a long day at work. Doubt I will forever, but I find it enjoyable for now, while I'm young.

Honestly, people react to it differently. Some can't handle it at all and have their personalities completely change; some have full-on psychotic breakdowns (esp if they're smoking strong skunk); and some just get sleepy/hungry/happy/horny. Depends on so many variables it's hard to say.

If you have kids though then it's v v v inappropriate in my mind unless they're away for the night or something

Its the pesron not the weed as pp said.

Same as drinkers, some handle it well, others not so much.

I noticed less people were admitting it smoking through my 30's and early 40's but think the urge to be grown up and good diminishes towards mid 40's and 50's and now many of my peers are openly smoking it again.

Shrug.

Where does he smoke it then? And ime, the smell is so potent it carries on family members clothing/hair etc

Does he drive?

My ex was a very heavy smoker. As the years went by his mental health deteriorated and he was either stoned or angry, that was it. Life was awful, especially if he'd run out. He hit me one day so I left him. Best thing I ever did.

In moderation I can't really get worked up about it. It's basically the same as alcohol, except I think it is hypocritical that many people don't question drinking several/ every night of the week, but would think smoking weed unacceptable.

Obviously, if somebody spends most of their waking hours heavily stoned it will affect family life and relationships. In the same way if somebody spent most of their time tipsy or roaring drunk.

I don't smoke weed, by the way.

Iflyaway - hate to say this, but you are WAY overly-defensive about this. Paranoid, much?

And don't bother with the arguments that it's 'natural' (so is arsenic), studies have consistently shown cannabis to be harmful and that it has long-term neurological effects.

I don't judge people who smoke. I used to smoke it a lot, very regularly. I don't think everyone who smokes it has a problem in the same way that not everybody who drinks alcohol has a problem. But people who are moody and their partners report treading on eggshells tend to have a dependency. With my dh it was alcohol - never had problems with weed. He's been on the wagon for ages now and our lives are so much happier for it.

I stopped smoking because the levels I was smoking (way before having my ds) did me no favours. I was boring, introspective and became paranoid and looking back was borderline depressive. I am a much happier, and more successful, person without it but there are still times I'd give anything for a toke

Former massive stoner here, can honestly say that looking back the period in my life where I consumed lots of green every day was probably one of the worst periods for me - I became lethargic with a much lessened appetite for ambition, a bit paranoid and certainly slower mentally. And contrary to belief I would say it caused me to feel more stressed rather than chilled out.

And yet I am not anti-weed at all. I fully believe that, like most things in life, moderation is the key. I sometimes smoke for pain relief when my back is causing grief and can actually say that I enjoy it much more than I ever have (it is also awesome for relieving pain it has to be said) while never forgetting that too much of not very healthy for me mentally or spiritually. If I were your DH OP, I would ask him to consider giving it up for a period or massively cutting down if he can to see just how good it can be to enjoy something without abusing it constantly (if he can). Plus it becomes so much less of a money drain, weed after all these days is bloody expensive and you don't get a lot of bang for your buck. The bottom line though is that it seems to be causing a rift in your relationship and perhaps your DH needs to consider which is more important, his habit or his relationship.....

How much is the stuff anyway?

Does anyone know does it help dental pain?

Sounds like very typical cannabis side effects. It's a myth that it's harmless, prolonged use has shown strong links to severe depression, paranoia and mental illness.

Weed, like alcohol, is more of a social drug for me. I'll smoke it if others are, but I won't do it on my own. So far this year... I've only lit up... twice. Me and DH have some but we just haven't gotten around to using it, just like all the liquor in our cabinets. We used to drink all the time, but then I got pregnant and we had DD, so we both stopped and eventually lost interest in it. Now all our "party stuff" collects dust.

I have nothing against it. It's relaxing for me, though it makes me unable to follow a conversation or train of thought very well. But no outside substance has any effects on me aside from when it's in my system.

But if your DH is having a problem with it, he needs to stop smoking it. You shouldn't continue doing anything that's negatively affecting your home and family life.

I will tell you some unpleasant truths:

• On the street people will smell him/you and think "what's that disgusting smell" and will slowly move away from you to breathe some fresh air.
• In your home, visitors will still smell it on his breath, hair, clothes, any furniture he sits on. They will also be too nice to mention the rotting stench.
• He is at very serious risk of developing schizophrenia. I have been to medical conferences on this. Here is just one of many studies which confirm this link. If he smokes skunk, or has a family history of any mental illness including depression, he is further risk. Even very moderate users increase this risk if they have a genetic predisposition.

Stopping does not reduce the risk either. Once you've fucked up your brain, there's no going back.

He smokes a skunk weed mix as a daily blend. I don't know how much it is but he gets it weekly from a guy. He doesn't drive. I am worried about the effects on his mental health long term. He doesn't really see many friends anymore and doesn't have many good things to say about anyone. Very negative which I find draining as I'm an eternal optimist. Opposites attract.....

cersei that's the reality, but users are always always going to deny this. They think they don't smell/aren't affected.... Sadly

You should be. There is no going back, if he has the disposition, even stopping won't help. Your children may even be affected by passive smoking and inhalation of the truly disgusting smell. There is study after study showing this, the medical professionals are shouting it at the top of their lungs.

The man in Edmonton who beheaded an 80 year old grandmother in her back garden is a perfect example of what skunk does.

You think you don't smell, but seriously EVERYONE around you is thinking they might have stepped in shit.

I find regular weed users fly of the handle easily and are down right miserable bastards

My ex is a pothead and he's a fucking nightmare. Selfish, apathetic, angry, and can't remember basic day to day things for our DD including giving her supplements. He has no idea what is going on half the time it drives me mad.

I can just tell when he's not happy, especially when he comes in from work and will minimise his triggers eg turn the volume down on TV, not leave buggy in front of the door.

That just screams "abusive relationship" to me; just because he's 'only' shouting at you instead of getting physical doesn't mean it's ok or that you should try to minimise it. No-one should think, "shit, I better move our child's pram in case he flies off the handle", because most people would be able to moderate their emotions and not upset their partner over something so minor.

You're already trying to mitigate the risk of him going off on one, do you really want to have your DS have a childhood where he's conscious of doing the same from no age? That's no fun for a kid.

I have zero knowledge or experience about weed but this situation doesn't sound like much craic for anyone, especially you. Maybe it's the addiction or something, maybe it's just him. But whatever it is, it needs to stop.

Everyone out there with a weed smoking partner needs to ask themselves...... If they split up, would you happily send your DC off to them for a contact weekend?

And the rest of you with DC who smoke this stuff.... You'd happily share this into with the HB/teachers/social workers out there?

FYI Iflyaway there is no evidence that large pharma are attempting to block cannabis oil as a treatment for cancer. I worked at the UK's largest cancer charity in a dept where we approved drugs showing efficacy.

Do you know who long it takes to get from a phase I trial to a full phase IV? Decades! Unless a drug shows immediate efficacy and can be rushed through which is VERY rare (see temozolomide).

Please don't spout paranoid lies. Read an article or two that have some facts.