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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think these people really don't want their things back? (student AIBU)

16 replies

gumcontrol · 21/10/2015 12:45

Looked after some stuff over the summer. Person A came back to retrieve an item of value in Sept, Person B came and got their things, Person C and Person D have not been in touch at all, and all that's left is unwashed clothing items, birthday cards and a couple of photos. I don't have any of their numbers due to phone problems, and have not seen them to ask as we are no longer friends. (Long story.)

AIBU to think it's on them to have contacted me by now when they were told it needs gone by end of August and I know for a fact they were settled in by that date? Loaded it all into friend's car on Monday and gave until Friday before I take it to the tip (via Facebook). It's gone to "other" folder for sure, and my friend request has not been accepted so there's no more I can do about that.

Am I BU / sinking to their level at this point? I have no space for their stuff and they know it.

OP posts:
KatharineClifton · 21/10/2015 12:50

Taking it to the tip is a bit U. Why don't you wash the clothes and take them to a charity shop?

SurlyCue · 21/10/2015 12:55

Dont you know where they have moved to? No mutual friends who could comtact them for you?

gumcontrol · 21/10/2015 12:55

Have thought about that. Would have to cart it all back indoors and there's really no space (tiny washing machine, too). Suppose it could go for rags?

OP posts:
gumcontrol · 21/10/2015 12:57

Nope, no idea where they live as were in halls last year. Want nothing to do with them tbh, no contact from them in months, but felt I would BU to get rid as early as September although they had a deadline.

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 21/10/2015 13:06

If you have any mutual friends at all, post on their wall and ask them to please tag Person C/D in the post or tell them that they need to get in touch with you as they need to collect their belongings. Tell them that their stuff needs to be collected by a particular date or else it will go in the bin.

Then you will have officially done all you can and be blameless in my eyes Grin

zipzap · 21/10/2015 13:39

If you know which course they are doing, try contacting the office for the subject - they may well pass on messages to the students for you. Might have the added embarrassment factor for them too which could be a benefit for you if you no longer like them!

schokolade · 21/10/2015 13:46

Nah bugger it. Their stuff, onus is on them to look after it. You've given them months.

bonzo77 · 21/10/2015 13:51

Just get rid. If they wanted it they'd get it. We had similar but with people we saw regularly. In the end it want to charity shops / free cycle / the dump I might have sold some of it on eBay

MrsDeathOfRats · 21/10/2015 13:52

Personally if someone told me 'end of August' and I didn't bother to make contact or Collect I would not be put out if in October you got rid of it all.

You have them a deadline, they didn't bother so I would assume they don't want the stuff.
But like a PP said, i would give to charity.
If you don't want to wash and take to a shop then what about those donation bins you find in car parks and tube stations?

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/10/2015 13:53

" they were told it needs gone by end of August and I know for a fact they were settled in by that date"
I would dump it. I would also think that they, having not collected it by August, would assume that you would dump it.

ThoughtfulPenny · 21/10/2015 13:57

I'd just bin it, end of August was weeks ago. Tough shit.

MatildaTheCat · 21/10/2015 14:05

Depends how much value the stuff has. Expensive clothes etc I would make more effort or sell, bunch of old unwashed Primark, send it for rags if you're feeling virtuous, otherwise the dump.

schokolade · 21/10/2015 14:38

Value of items wouldn't bother me. Not the OPs problem.

drspouse · 21/10/2015 15:15

Do you have textile collections with your recycling? That will be stuff going for rags if it's minging.

gumcontrol · 21/10/2015 16:42

Thanks for your help, everyone. I tend to obsess over the moral value of what I'm doing; it's no good for my mental health, especially when in a lucid moment I know I'm the only one it matters a jot to. Definitely not nice clothing; the one expensive piece effort was made to pick up, of course. ;)

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 21/10/2015 16:56

Why the hell were u.looking after 4 peoples stuff, are you some kind of mug! It's the 3rd wk of October ffs, dump it!

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