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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to treat my child

65 replies

mommy2ash · 17/10/2015 21:48

My dd who is eight has wanted a new game for her Nintendo day since she heard it came out. I usually make a mental note of these things for Christmas as she had so much I don't usually buy things during the year.

I am a single parent and have recently had to up my hours at work to full time to make ends meet and I so admit have some guilt regarding that as my dd clearly misses having me around.

Today I decided to bit the game as she looking up YouTube videos and getting really excited. I though why should I be working all of these hours if I don't use some of this money to treat my girl.

My sister sent me a long rant this evening after my dd told her about the game. She said she was really disappointed in me for giving into pressure and she never thought I would be one of those parents and he had lost respect for me as a person.

If I am being unreasonable I am willing to hear it but surely I can spend my money any way I like. My dd never begs for anything and is very well behaved. I am pretty strict and she was over the moon to get a surprise as I said it isn't something I usually do.

OP posts:
Perfectlypurple · 17/10/2015 21:50

Tell your sister to fuck off. It is up to you what you spend your money on and what you want to buy your dd.

Floggingmolly · 17/10/2015 21:52

Your sister is an interfering nutcase. Did she really say she'd lost respect for you as a person?! Do you care?

jay55 · 17/10/2015 21:52

As long as the bills are paid and you've enough food then of course you can buy her a game.

PingpongDingDong · 17/10/2015 21:52

Good for you. Of course it's ok. My dd is the same, never asks for things and is well behaved. How lovely to treat them occasionally if we are able to.

teacher54321 · 17/10/2015 21:53

None of her business. Ds is an only, and is only 3 at the moment but if we're out and about and he sees a little £3 toy car and he wants it, he can have it. I work my arse off for our family and he deserves nice things. At Xmas and birthdays he tends to get lots less than his friends as I don't go crazy. People are different, your sister is being a cow.

catfordbetty · 17/10/2015 21:53

Your sister is entitled to her opinion I suppose but to say that she had lost respect for you as a person is a pretty extreme.

AliceInUnderpants · 17/10/2015 21:55

The only thing you WBU about was not telling your sister to fuck off at the time.

I really hope your DD enjoys her game (what was it?) You sound lovely.

Chrysanthemum5 · 17/10/2015 21:56

I'm generally one for saving things like games for birthdays and Christmas - but you've worked hard, and it sound as if your child hasn't been expecting this treat - so how lovely to be able to surprise her. Ignore your sister

MunchMunch · 17/10/2015 21:56

If you can't treat your kids who can you?! Your money spend it how you see fit.

I also don't buy my dc much apart from Christmas/birthdays but when they are that excited as your dd was, I love surprising them with something they've wanted for a while and seeing their faces light up.

tshirtsuntan · 17/10/2015 21:57

As an adult it is the unexpected gifts I really remember and appreciated, an ice cream when you wouldn't normally get one, a sindy accessory you wanted but didn't know anyone else knew you wanted.......fabulous Smile giving very occasional special treats while maintaining your rules/ beliefs is, in my opinion, a really nice way to parent. (Good call)

Lovelydiscusfish · 17/10/2015 21:58

Absolutely the right thing to do in my opinion. It's lovely to spend money you can afford on making the people you love happy. This is a good thing to model to your daughter too. What's not to like?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 17/10/2015 22:03

Your sister sounds like a cow. I'd only lose respect for you if buying the game meant you couldn't buy food/pay your rent/mortgage.

mumeeee · 17/10/2015 22:04

Yanbu but your sister is. Ignore her and just enjoy watching your DD play her new game.

Original poster
mommy2ash · 17/10/2015 22:08

The game was animal crossing happy home designer. I haven't even responded to my sister as I was so shocked. All my bills are paid no issue with debts or anything like that so it's not like she is worried about me financially. I think i will just ignore the message as it's too crazy to warrant a response

OP posts:
imwithspud · 17/10/2015 22:09

Lost respect for you as a person? For treating your daughter? She sounds nuts, take no notice.

Of course you're not unreasonable to buy your dd a game she wants. There's absolutely nothing wrong with treating our dc's outside of Christmas and birthdays every now and then. In fact sometimes the surprise gifts are often the most remembered.

wonderpants · 17/10/2015 22:11

I always remember presents my Dad bought me for no reason. Not as a reward, not because it was Christmas or my birthday. Just because he loved me.
I love treating my DC, they aren't spoilt, they don't expect, they rarely ask and have always accepted no. But I often treat them to things! For my pleasure as well as theirs!

herethereandeverywhere · 17/10/2015 22:11

You sound like a lovely mum! Your lucky lucky daughter.

Tell your sister to bog off.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 17/10/2015 22:15

Your sister should mind her own business! I think ignoring her sounds like a great plan.

Of course YANBU.

RiverTam · 17/10/2015 22:16

back atcha, sister! WTF? How Is this any of her business?

RockinHippy · 17/10/2015 22:16

Your sister is an interfering nutcase - take no notice at all

They grow up so fast, enjoy your daughter & treat her as much as you see fit & can afford.

HeartShapedBox · 17/10/2015 22:17

Yanbu, your sister is plain weird.
Even if you spent £3000 a day on toys and games for your DD what's it to her?

LimitedSedition · 17/10/2015 22:17

Why is she being so mean?

It's your money, and good on you for treating your daughter. She'll appreciate and remember that for a long time.

My parents didn't have much money, and one day my mum bought me a brand new coat and surprised me with it after school- I had seen it a few weeks before and knew better than to ask.

The feeling of joy I got from that surprise is still with me!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 17/10/2015 22:19

It'd none of your sister's business. I mean you can think what you like about these things but you can't say what you like.
My sister is the type who will spend £60 on a hat and gloves set for dn, but at the same time will cry poverty. I don't say anything but id be lying if I said. I didn't think she was bonkers.

MissMarpleCat · 17/10/2015 22:19

Wtf has it got to do with your sister what you buy dd. She sounds like a hyperbolic fool.

BertieBotts · 17/10/2015 22:19

Your sister is being an arse. It's fine to buy your DD a treat every now and again - it's a NICE thing, FFS.