Making 16 year old DS take care of his own affairs sometimes?

[MsRamone]

My lovely DS is 16 (and a half). He is at college 5 days a week and works Saturday's.

He has a habit of telling me at 10pm At night that he needs various things doing before the next morning. In the end I got sick of this and told him that as me and DP work full time in stressful jobs we can't be expected to run around after him and therefore if he needs something ironing for example - he irons it himself. The past few weeks I've also got him to make his own packed lunch for work on Saturdays. Last week he announced he was going out for an Italian meal for his friends birthday and wanted me to pay for it. Normally I would have caved but this time I said no, he made the plans so he needs to pay for it. I feel guilty and he clearly feels hard done to but at 17, I was living alone, looking after myself and paying my own bills!! Am I being unreasonable?

I worked as a waitress all day Saturday and Sunday while doing A-level and got three As). I have no idea how or why looking back!

I too worked weekends and Thurs evenings while studying A levels and got two As, a B and a C. My dsd also worked weekends and got similar grades. Putting a bit of washing on (and in my day before dish washers my sisters and I were expected to wash and dry up!) takes a few minutes.

My girls both held down part time jobs whilst doing their A Levels, they worked weekends and one or two evenings a week. I think they did as much homework and revision as their friends who didn't work.
Don't kid yourself that just because they're sat in their room with a book open on their bed that they're busy revising

Um, I did A levels and worked 8 hours a week part time.

I also did a degree and worked 20 hours a week in my last year, and 15 hours per week the two years prior to that...

It just requires effective time management, which is an invaluable skill to learn IMO.

However I did an arts degree, so less 'contact' time was required. Had lots of reading to do though.