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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fuming that my sister has scared my parents into not having the flu vaccination

75 replies

Marue · 16/10/2015 18:42

My sister is anti vaccine fair enough her choice and she's young and healthy. My parents are in their late 60s and although healthy they are obviously at risk and in need of the vaccine else they wouldnt of been offered it.

Sister has sent them aload of dubious advice about it and totally put them off having it. Am I right to be annoyed with her?

OP posts:
Pseudo341 · 16/10/2015 18:45

YANBU, I'd be really angry with her, but in your sister's defence she genuinely believes they're in real danger and is very misguidedly trying to protect them. The anti vaccine stuff is all pretty easy to debunk. Find out what she's told them and show them all the evidence to the contrary. It will take a bit of googling on your part but who knows, you could convince your sister too.

LindyHemming · 16/10/2015 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArkhamOffitt · 16/10/2015 18:48

They are in their 60s, not stupid. Let them decide for themselves.

BathtimeFunkster · 16/10/2015 18:50

YANBU

Your parents are at far more risk from the 'flu than the vaccine.

GreatFuckability · 16/10/2015 18:57

What dubious advice has she given them? They are presumably of sound mind and made their own choices. Yabu.

mollie123 · 16/10/2015 19:04

up to them if they decide to have it or not. I am sure they are old enough and sensible enough to not be influenced by your sister
I am late 60s and damn well make up my mind about flu jabs, medication and how I live my life. Nothing to do with anyone else (until the day I am incapable of rational thought)

honeysucklejasmine · 16/10/2015 19:08

I'd be tempted to say something to then along the lines if "I hear dsis has been raving about vaccines again. Isn't it such a shame when people don't know enough about the science to understand things properly?" And really lay it on about what a shame it is that she's been misled by the internet.

GruntledOne · 16/10/2015 19:10

Can you suggest that your parents discuss this with their GP and put to him or her all the points that your sister has made before taking any decisions on it?

Also refer them to the fact that there is evidence that the flu vaccine cuts the risk of strokes - www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/10652625/Flu-jab-could-cut-risk-of-stroke-by-quarter.html

EeyoresTail · 16/10/2015 19:16

Have they had flu before though Marue? I think blanket vaccinations for so called risk groups are a bit heavy handed. I'm in my 40s with asthma so in theory in one of the at risk groups. My go who I've been with for nearly 20 years has never advised me to have the vaccine. I've never had flu either

gobbin · 16/10/2015 19:16

Good grief, you make it sound as if your parents have one foot in the grave and are incapable of making an independent decision. They are still quite young! I'm late 40s, entitled to the vaccine but never have it, despite my mum nagging me. I'm sure they can make their own minds up too.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 16/10/2015 19:19

No. They can make up their own minds. They must've had doubts to be that easily swayed.

Likeaninjanow · 16/10/2015 19:26

YABU to say they wouldn't be offered it if they didn't need it. My DS is allergic to the vaccine and they send a letter every year asking him to have it done, and I have to explain every year that he can't have it.

LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary · 16/10/2015 19:34

Late 60s is hardly old these days!
Hardly blue rinse and dentures anymore!

steff13 · 16/10/2015 19:40

As long as they're of sound mind, I don't think your sister is to blame. She gave them a different point of view.

they are obviously at risk and in need of the vaccine else they wouldnt of been offered it

I don't get this - can't anyone get it if they want it?

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 16/10/2015 19:42

Yanbu, I can't stand anti-vaxers

I have asthma so even though I'm young and otherwise healthy I get the flu jab because my doctor tells me its a good idea (I work in a stuffy office and volunteer with children). I agree.

Your parents need to make their own minds up, tell them you're not trying to make them chose between which of their children to listen to, but to check it out for themselves and discus it with their GP

GreatFuckability · 16/10/2015 19:49

I find it pretty ironic that people react to the idea that the sister has some how coerced her parents into not having the vaccine, by suggesting the OP do the same thing. Blindly having vaccines is just as daft as blindly refusing them in my book.

Barbadosgirl · 16/10/2015 19:52

Uh, anti-vaxers.

AnthonyBlanche · 16/10/2015 19:58

The one and only time I had the flu vaccine (free at work) it made me ill. About ten minutes after having the vaccine I began to feel very unwell with pain spreading up my arm and across my shoulders. I went on to have mildish flu symptoms for a couple of days which were bad enough for me to stay off work. For that reason I am unlikely to have the vaccine again - though I am not in a high risk group and have had flu before so do know what I am letting myself in for.

I was told the vaccine couldnt give anyone any side effects becuase it wasn't a live vaccine. I don't think I was told the truth.

I am sure your parents are capable of making up their own minds OP.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 16/10/2015 20:02

Is there a perticular reason why your parents may not be able to assess the situation themselves?

My sister did this to my mother and also managed to convince her the reason my kids have autism is because they did not have singke jabs, but my mother is unwell and a bit vulnerable.

Caprinihahahaha · 16/10/2015 20:07

My mother is 82 and always declines the vaccine.
And she would be mightily pissed off st anyone suggesting that she was so old and addled that she can be 'frightened' into anything irrational.

You have a pretty low and patronising opinion of your parents tbh

gobbin · 16/10/2015 23:20

anti-vaxers

What a curiously pejorative expression. Wouldn't 'pro-choicers' be more accurate?

minimalistaspirati0ns · 16/10/2015 23:29

They are capable of making their own decisions

goodasitgets · 16/10/2015 23:35

I had it, I get a sore arm and feel mildly unwell after it but I can't rely on herd immunity for things as people aren't vaccinating so I take everything offered to me as immunosuppressed

pigsDOfly · 16/10/2015 23:47

I'm in my mid 60s and haven't had the flu jab so far. Like your parents OP
I too am healthy (physically and mentally) and am therefore able to decide for myself whether to take up this offer.

Why do you think that because they are offered it they are automatically in a very high risk category and need to have it? It's advisory, not obligatory.

Everyone over a certain age is offered it, doesn't mean they are automatically at greater risk and therefore absolutely must have it.

And agree with pps, your attitude towards your parents is very patronising.

BumpTheElephant · 17/10/2015 00:04

Maybe your parents don't want the jab?

Why are you and your sister even getting involved? I have no idea if my parents have the flu jab or not. They're adults, they can decide for themselves, I'd be very surprised if they've really paid much attention to your sister, unless they are not able to access the information for whatever reason?

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