Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Fuming that my sister has scared my parents into not having the flu vaccination

75 replies

Marue · 16/10/2015 18:42

My sister is anti vaccine fair enough her choice and she's young and healthy. My parents are in their late 60s and although healthy they are obviously at risk and in need of the vaccine else they wouldnt of been offered it.

Sister has sent them aload of dubious advice about it and totally put them off having it. Am I right to be annoyed with her?

OP posts:

AnthonyBlanche · 17/10/2015 13:27

To add to the above, I hardly ever have colds and am very rarely ill. I think I have a strong immune system, which to me makes it even odder that the flu vaccine made me so unwell.

AnthonyBlanche · 17/10/2015 13:33

Tali I'm pleased to hear that I'm not the only one who reacted to the flu vaccine, though obviously not pleased that your mum was unwell.

TheStripyGruffalo · 17/10/2015 13:35

I don't think that either of you are being unreasonable, you are both acting with what you consider to be your parents' best interest. They need to consider both views and then make their own decision.

Mistigri · 17/10/2015 13:41

It really depends in the "balance of power" (for want of a better phrase) in the relationship. For example if your parents are relatively uneducated, and your sister was (say) a medical professional - then you'd be right to be angry.

If your parents are educated people then all you can do is give them the alternative point of view. Ultimately this is a decision they need to take for themselves.

I'm pro vaccination, and hope my 80 year old mother has the jab this year (though it's possible that she won't, as she got flu last year due to the poorly-targeted 2014 vaccine) - but it's not up to me to make the choice for her.

kali110 · 17/10/2015 13:45

I'd tell them to speak to their gp.
I have it as i'm in one of the at risk groups.
I have to have it as i have a low immune system due to fibromyalgia, breathing problems and now clotting problems. etc. i missed it last year and got the flu.
I was horrendously ill. I was in bed all over xmas and new year. Could barely eat or drink, high temp, dizzy, sickness and the worst headache.
I would not want that again.
I had a headache after the flu jab( though can't say for definete it was that!)
I would rather take the symptoms than the flu again.

anthony if it was from the flu jab then you had a severe reaction to it.
The side effects from the flu jab are not flu like symptoms.
You can get a mild cold like symptoms such as a headache, blocked nose, slight temp ache in the arm, not flu symptoms.
Funnily if you have the whooping cough injection you can get flu like symptoms

AnthonyBlanche · 17/10/2015 13:50

That's interesting Kali. Has definitely put me off having it again though.

HappySeven · 17/10/2015 14:31

I've had the flu jab every year for about 12 years and I've never had a side effect. It's an anecdote and not evidence but I thought I would add it to counteract all the other anecdotes on here.

HappySeven · 17/10/2015 14:35

Surely, if your symptoms were due to the flu virus they would have taken longer to show themselves, Anthony? It can take 48 hours for a virus to have multiplied enough in your system to give you symptoms and yours appear to have been instantaneous.

goodasitgets · 17/10/2015 15:18

I would rather have a mild side effect from the jab than ever go through flu again

AnthonyBlanche · 17/10/2015 15:18

I have no idea what it was about the flu jab that made me so unwell happy. I don't think I've said that my reaction was due to the flu virus? Ive just reported what happened to me the only time I had the flu vaccine. As you say, it is my anecdotal experience, as I haven't claimed to report as part of a scientific study not sure what else you would call it.

TaliZorah · 17/10/2015 15:22

I had swine flu during the outbreak and even that doesn't persuade me to get the jab.

Jessesbitch · 17/10/2015 15:46

I've had the jab for the past 20years ish since they started offering it to asthmatics. Only ever had an achy arm. Before it was available I had flu and was very very ill. In the late 90s 80k people died over one winter from flu. I think about 20k is the usual winter figure. My dad who is also adthmatic refuses to have it which worries me.

Achy arm vs flu

Achy arm please.

I had the jab thursday and I can only slightly feel it now.

Atenco · 17/10/2015 15:48

So sorry kali, that you are so unwell, but actually if I remember rightly last year's flu jab was ineffective anyway. They didn't predict the right strains.

capsium · 17/10/2015 15:56

I really value being able to make a choice over what medical treatment we personally receive. If this was removed, the political and financial corruption which can affect health services, would be even more dangerous.

OP your parents are allowed to make their own decisions. I would be careful how I reacted to this, if I were you, because next time, there is a decision to make, they might not ask your advice at all, if you become too overbearing and 'fuming'.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 17/10/2015 16:27

Immunity fascinates me. I have asthma but haven't bothered getting the jab because I had full blown flu when I was 20. Ill for a month and very weak ( I get annoyed when people with runny noses who are well enough to work etc say they have flu. You fucking don't ) and have been fine since. My ex boyfriend had swine flu he caught when it toured his work. I looked after him, cleaning up puke and tissues and sharing a bed and only had mild cold like symptoms. Was told by a clever lady I had an immunity due to the flu I had. If the jab does the same it probably is a good idea.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 17/10/2015 16:28

I do know my immunity won't last as flu changes btw. Still. How cool are our bodies?!?

PigletJohn · 17/10/2015 16:33

your immunity to that strain will last a long time.

The same strain, or a similar one, might come round again. When Swine Flu was around, a lot of older people didn't get badly ill, as had been expected, because it was similar to one that came round 50 years ago, and they'd caught it when young and healthy, and still had immunity.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 17/10/2015 16:41

My DH get offered it at work for free each year. He used to have it but it made him feel grotty so he stopped having it. I think with flu vaccine you make your own risk assessment. It's not like not giving childhood imms I think.

mumeeee · 17/10/2015 16:46

YABU. Your parents are not old or stupid and they are completely able to make their own decisions. I think both you and your sister should back off and leave them to it.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 17/10/2015 16:52

I am pro vaccines but I dont think the flu vaccine needs to be doled out as readily as it it tbh. Its quite possible to see both sides of the vaccination debate after all!! And as an aside it does makes me chuckle on here how people make out those in their sixties are frail vulnerable and need people to think and act for them!! Bloody hell 60 is NOTHING!!!

Sirzy · 17/10/2015 16:55

Adults - and even older children able to make an informed decision for themselves - should make their own decision, and do research if not sure.

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 17/10/2015 17:09

piglet thanks that's interesting! I was only late 20s when swine flu did the rounds...my flu must have been similar then? I work with the public so should catch it. Glad my immunity will last. Bodies are cool.

laureywilliams · 17/10/2015 21:06

Has your sister been telling them lies about the vaccine? What?

If not YABU.

kali110 · 17/10/2015 21:13

Yes i am aware of that, however i would rather have the jab to atleast hopefully prevent me getting it than not. I do not want that again.
I did not get any symptoms from the jab till the next day.
I would also get the swine flu vacine jab if available after having that!
It didn't offer me any immunity to the flu.

jevoudrais · 17/10/2015 21:21

YABU if you are annoyed because you want them to have it because you think that is right. YANBU if you are annoyed because you think she has swayed them and not given them room to decide for themselves.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread