Mortgage dispute dp/me

[Haribogirl]

Dp and I took bought property 13 years ago for £160.000
I put deposit down of 80.000 he got mortgage for his 80.000( with both names on it, as he would of been able to get this much on his own)

So 13 years on and he's had a brain wave, he now decided that because of the interested he's had to pay for getting the mortgage that he's actually paying more than me!!
My argument is he must of known that interest was added in the first place and it's not up to me to now start paying it.

He won't it so that
He as added his mortgage payments up for the last 13 years which amount to £79400.
So when he reaches 80k(same as I put in at beginning) he then wants me to start paying half the mortgage.
Also at the beginning in solicitors, solicitor advised me to make a deed of trust to guard my 80k in the event of anything happening in the future.

He doesn't agree with this now! As he realised that in event off I would get this and half the equity we make, he thinks all off a sudden I'm ripping him off.

This is only in the event off!! Which I have mentioned.

I feel I've just protected myself as advised, he now thinks I'm ripping him off

Dont know where that smiley came from.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill

Or she just says, "I've paid half, you're paying half, we both get half at the end." Anything else is overly complicated and subject to differing opinions.

Yes, I agree, what I was trying to do is provide a figure so she can demonstrate that he is not paying more than him when he shows his payments now total £81k and he thinks they are quits!

Id be slightly worried this is being bought up after 13 years. Are you splitting up?

Thank you ALL so much for your time and input on this!

This as all come to the forefront due to his retirement,

A few questions I need to answer

He got ill health lump sum payment 36k severance payment, he took early retirement a year later with company pension 12k year plus he got 43k lump sum. I've never had anything off this(not that I should irrelevant) he also get ESA £400 month.

I get a small company pension off 5k year., I get ESA of 400 month and DLA of 178 month about 950 month all together.

We have no children

The mortgage was over 20 years 7 outstanding

My money was from my previous house sale! He rented his house.

He pays the mortgage, and we do 50/50 on everything

He thinks I'm devious, money grabber, and I've conned him now.

I'm sorry I put the bloody 80k down now, if I had known it would of caused this!

How can I turn this round fairly ?????? Obviously now I've become a where of his change of thinking!!

Op, what does your deed of trust protecting your £80k say? Is it 50:50 after 80k or 50:50 overall but you are guaranteed your 80k back?

Did he put his lump sum into the mortgage or is it in savings?

How much are the mortgage payments?

Do either of you have kids that aren't the others? Just wondering about inheritance.

"He thinks I'm devious, money grabber, and I've conned him now."

Well, that's an absolutely horrible attitude for him to have towards his partner!

I definitely think you need legal and relationship advice.

He should always have known that borrowing £80k came with a cost and that he would have to pay the interest. The issue of course is that you technically borrowed it together.

Was it a joint decision not to get married? Were there financial factors?

It sounds like there is no trust, sadly, or at least not on the financial side. This is such a shame because in a long-term partnership you should be a team.

OP, can you clarify what happens if you sell the house and make a profit on it, and, for the sake of argument, if you don't buy another house?

Suppose, for instance, you sell it for £300K and you've paid off the mortgage. Do you get your original £80K under the original deed of trust plus half the balance, i.e. £190K in all; or does £80K go back to your OP to represent the 80K he put in, with the balance of £140K being equally divided between you?

And how does it work if at the time you sell some of the mortgage remains to be paid?

Not sure how you can fix this. As most people have said, he had to take out a loan for "his" half and that cost him a lot in interest. Mortgages do cost a lot in interest! You didn't need a mortgage so you don't pay any interest. That much is easy in my view.

Dealing with someone who's mean to love you and thinks you're devious and money grabbing is a whole lot harder.

So I would say he should pay off the mortgage with his lump sums (check you don't have early repayment charges) and then there is no mortgage to pay going forward, you have both paid half and you own it 50:50. Might have to get a deed drawn up to reflect that if the previous deed meant you are owed more than 50%.

Seems pretty was to resolve by just paying off the mortgage. Yes he will pay more than you in total but the net present value of the 80k you put in is much higher so your contributions will be pretty even overall.

He as paid to date back £43,050 mortgage outstanding is £36,950 7 years left.

Deed of trust says
My 80k Protected in the event off! Then 50/50

He paid 8k off lump payment off mortgage, payments are £560 month
I have a son(not his)26

Marriage as never come up, (I was married before 11 years) he's never been married

Looking at DOT I get my 80k rest out outstanding mortgage paid off then 50/50 split.

I'm willing to scrap DOT if we can come to a fair split, but how I do this now some 13 years down the line I done know???

Also I'm a bit upset that he's now retracting his promise/offer

Oh yes

The argument is

He is paying more back than I do, but then I didn't borrow
Therefor he's paid more for his share,

wow you are not the devious money grabber and con artist- he is putting this interpretation on you because he thought he was conning you. Talk about transference . And not a coincidence that this is emerging when he has received large sums of money - which he has no intention of sharing with you or putting into the mortgage. Do NOT change anything and go to a lawyer. You need to protect yourself from this angry money grabber who has figured out that he did not manage to con you and is furious about it. Bet he's already had legal advice and that's why he is so angry. Please do not be pressured into making any money moves unless they are to protect yourself.

Hmmm I think the deed of trust was done in the assumption that you would be paying off the mortgage together. It would be fairer to simply split 50/50 if he continues to pay the mortgage himself. I think if you do scrap the deed of trust and change it to 50/50, you should also remortgage so that the new mortgage is in his name only.

The thing is, doing the above will be costly (you'll need to pay for legal and mortgage advice) and seems a bit pointless if you plan to stay together and trust each other. Why does he care now? Is he planning to leave you?

I'm also wondering about wills. If he has no children, is he leaving everything to you? If so it's quite pointless for him to claw back your money only to leave it to you when he dies. On the other hand you have a son so I imagine you would want to leave your money to him. In that case I can understand you wanting to protect your assets.

It sounds like a stressful argument to be having - sorry he is being like this, OP!

He thinks I'm devious, money grabber, and I've conned him now. I was all over the idea that it's been 13 years, you are together, it's your home, you love each other, just make everything equal. But with that attitude I think your relationship is in trouble and you should behave as if it is. Protect yourself.

To get the initial 80K, surely you paid more than that into your first house. So you also paid interest to get that 80K.

In case you didn't get a chance to read all the posts when you returned, he is not paying more, you have contributed capital plus lost interest, the net present value of your 80k based on thirteen years RPI inflation is £118k. He is contributing debt capital plus debt interest. At the end of the day you will have contributed the same.

The issue comes from the deed of trust which seems to give you a larger share for the same contribution.

I am sure you could get a solicitor to draw up a new deed to make it 5050 once he has finished contributing his half (eg finished paying the mortgage. )

I do think the simplest way of resolving it is for him to pay off the mortgage using his lump sum. So he has then paid 79k in repayments plus £37k lump sum. Yes he has paid £116k for his half, but that is the cost of mortgage interest, And you have already paid £118k in today's money.

Yes I would say you need financial and legal advice here.

And maybe some relationship advise too :( The way he is reacting is not good really

I agree with Emma, it is all moot if you are planning to be together forever and you will inherit it anyway. Who would inherit his half?

The other option is to recognise that the DOT gives you more than 50% and recalculate your contributions accordingly. How much is the house worth now approximately? You can work out your current share and maybe start contributing to the mortgage to keep that percentage, then your son would be able to inherit a larger share if you died.

At the moment it does sound like he is severely worse off.

By my working out, if the house was sold now and is still worth £160k you would get about £101.5k and he would get £21.5k. So he loses money on what he has paid (ignoring the interest he has paid too).

Obviously it gets better the more the house is worth. If it is worth £250k then you will get £146.5k and he will get £66.5k. So he's not losing on his capital repayment but you are still doing much better.

Maybe this is where he is coming from and sees the going halves on the mortgage as the easiest way to sort it out. For example:

House is worth £250k. £37k left on mortgage which is paid half and half. So op pays £98.5k total, and partner £61.5k (ignoring interest). After splitting proceeds, op has £165k and partner £85k. OP's investment has made 167.5% and partner has made 138%. So even with splitting the mortgage from now on, OP is still much better off.

So maybe, just maybe, he has worked this out and is feeling rather nervous about his position. He's not handled it well (at all), but if the OP has refused to budge then perhaps that's why he's flown off the handle.

I think they need to sit down and have a look at the numbers to decide the fairest way of proceeding. To my mind that would be him paying the rest of the mortgage and house split 50/50.

Bedraggled's post at 1502 is spot on.

However, as per PPs, I'm not sure I'd want to hang about with someone who had such a low opinion of me after 13 years together.

You aren't a devious money grabber. He is being a twat.

You paid outright for your share of the house, whereas he needed to borrow for his. Has it really taken him 13 years to realise that a mortgage, whilst often a cheaper way to borrow, is not actually an interest free loan? That is rather dim of him.

I would keep the Deed of Trust as it is. Nothing wrong with it IMHO.

It is a shame that the best way to raise his funds was a mortgage in joint names, because it usually renders you jointly and severally responsible.

Could you remortgage to a cheaper deal, and perhaps (following proper legal advice) in the process remove your own name from that side of things.

You both paid in 50% of the purchase price. Keep it simple and split everything else 50/50.

Now you have filled in the fine detail, that doesn't sound like a great deal for him.
It is only fair if the sale price was going to be split 50/50.

If you are not splitting the sale price 50/50, only the amount left after you have taken back 80k, then you will be taking much more than your fair share.
I would be cross if I were in the same situation as he is.
But it would be fair if you had shared the mortgage repayments with him over the past 13 years.

Presuming I have understood correctly, which may not be the case.

Op, you have taken a risk by setting up home with a man that couldn't get a mortgage on his own and had no capital to put down a deposit. The mortgage was in both names and you could have lost your home if he didn't repay. What were you thinking? Protect yourself now. This is a man who, when faced with a lump sum, decided to pocket it not pay the whole amount into the mortgage.

"He got ill health lump sum payment 36k severance payment, he took early retirement a year later with company pension 12k year plus he got 43k lump sum"

so he could have used HIS more than £80K (36+12+43 = 91) to pay of his mortage and been in the same situation as you

He's a money grabbing tosser

"If you are not splitting the sale price 50/50, only the amount left after you have taken back 80k, then you will be taking much more than your fair share."

If OP is not paying mortgage, then she takes what % her initial payment was of the total ie 50/50 as the house was 160?

if she is paying the mortgage as well then she removes her £80k (or % if thats the way its written) and then they split what is left - but i think the Op was not paying mortgage

LittleRedSparke, but at the moment the OP isn't taking 50% of the total. She is taking 80k plus 50% the equity remaining (i.e. after taking off the 80k and outstanding mortgage). That is a massive difference to 50/50, and does not make him a 'money grabbing tosser'.