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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset at dp's lack of reaction to my news?

64 replies

MsRamone · 14/10/2015 18:28

So today was big results day. Myself and my cohort were finding out if we'd passed our dissertations and therefore passed our degree and qualified as nurses. Results were out at 12.30. DP knew this. He'd text me in the morning saying good luck etc. 12.30 we're all sat nervously checking our results - those of us with good news were immediately texting loved ones to tell them the good news and they were all receiving replies saying how proud people were of them, congratulations etc etc. I received no such text from DP. I assumed he can't have had a signal at work. So I got home at 5pm to find him playing on the computer. He HAD received my text telling him id passed with a first but he was "busy" so didn't reply.
Now I'm stuck seeing Facebook updates of flowers, chocolates and cards etc from my friends loved ones congratulating them on their results ... I have a bottle of wine in the kitchen that I'd actually asked for and dP is playing on battlefield.

I could forgive the lack of card/chocolate/flowers etc but he couldn't even send me a text, even after he'd finished work. Aibu?

OP posts:
TheOriginalWinkly · 14/10/2015 18:31

I would be fucking fuming.

What has changed from this morning when he was interested and supportive? Do you think he feels less like 'top dog' in the relationship due to you getting a first?

YouBastardSockBalls · 14/10/2015 18:33

YANBU

HIB A Twat.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 14/10/2015 18:33

YANBU, I would tell him.

Say, "dp, today was a really big deal for me, I've worked so hard for this, I want to celebrate. I'm a bit disappointed you don't seem happy for me."

Then order a takeaway and open the wine.

Unless he's generally unsupportive, in which case you have bigger issues.

Well done! Flowers a first is amazing. You must be so pleased :) Wine

YouBastardSockBalls · 14/10/2015 18:33

Ps congratulations Flowers

Dowser · 14/10/2015 18:33

That's horrible. If you have a future together then you doing well and him congratulating you are an investment In it.

Not nice at all.

BolshierAryaStark · 14/10/2015 18:33

Not good, why has he gone from wishing you luck this morning to being a complete arse now?
Congratulations & well done Flowers

Palomb · 14/10/2015 18:34

fucking hell! What a massive arsehole :(

Congratulations to you! Bloody well done WineCakeFlowersStar

kslatts · 14/10/2015 18:36

Congratulations!

YANBU, he is being an arse.

AllChangeLife · 14/10/2015 18:37

I'd have hit the roof. Unsupportive twat.

Is he normally like this?

I'd be asking why, for sure.

MaisieDotes · 14/10/2015 18:37

Congratulations OP! What a fantastic result.

It sounds as though your DP is a bit put out by your success. Is there any reason for him to be insecure?

IJustLostTheGame · 14/10/2015 18:38

Lock yourself in the bathroom with posh smellies and drink the wine yourself

ToTheGups · 14/10/2015 18:40

Congratulations OP that is fantastic and you should be feeling very proud right now.

Is your oh jealous? That is how it seems to me reading your op. You need to tell him frankly that he is behaving like a cunt.

DoreenLethal · 14/10/2015 18:42

You got a first? Well done you.

Yes he is an unsupportive arsehole. Question is, why?

ijustwannadance · 14/10/2015 18:47

Well done!

He is a twat.

JassyRadlett · 14/10/2015 18:50

Huge, huge congratulations.

Agree with others that maybe a shift in the household dynamics - you doing so brilliantly, and building your future prospects - may be causing his behaviour. If so, he's a sexist twat.

I'd find an awful lot of things you're too 'busy' for over the next few days.

Fluffy24 · 14/10/2015 18:53

Congratulations! Flowers

Maybe he just always assumed you'd do well and therefore doesn't sees it as a big deal? My DH is very caring etc but sometimes he just doesn't get things and can inadvertently cause upset!

AskingForAPal · 14/10/2015 18:54

How bloody weird and horrible for you! :(

It's slightly different, but I managed to scrape together enough money to put down a deposit on a part-share in a flat. My boyfriend at the time didn't say ANYTHING positive (barely anything at all) at any point, in fact I bought my own celebratory chocolate as all he could do was feel annoyed he hadn't done the same. For context, he was much better off than me and had family money put aside to help him buy. When I broke up with him a few months later that lack of support/being happy for the other person was one of the key aspects of our relationship that brought me to do so.

InTheBox · 14/10/2015 18:55

Congrats OP!
YANBU and he is being a twat of the highest order!

winchester1 · 14/10/2015 18:55

Any chance you could ring a freind or a sibling and go out somewhere for the night?

If not take away and wine and a boxset/movie and celebrate Cake Wine

I'd leave the conversation (which needs to be had) until the morning.

LineyReborn · 14/10/2015 18:56

Is he jealous?

Sallystyle · 14/10/2015 18:56

A massive congratulations to you OP

Cake Flowers

I am sorry your dp was an arse, that has to hurt and it's nasty of him.

I would find that pretty unforgivable.

The80sweregreat · 14/10/2015 18:59

Congratulations, awesome!
As for D P, stuff him. Drink the whole bottle yourself and give yourself a huge pat on the back..

Viviennemary · 14/10/2015 18:59

He probably thought the pass was expected so didn't get too excited. I think when older people pass a degree there isn't the same amount of congratulations as when a young person does. Not saying this is right or wrong but it seems to be the way of things.

Joopy · 14/10/2015 19:01

Congratulations Flowers a first is amazing! Treat yourself to something nice tomorrow.

Fairenuff · 14/10/2015 19:01

It depends. If he is usually like this then I think YABU for expecting anything different.

If not then you might be under-reacting.

Either way it doesn't look good. Time to rethink your future?

Congratulations on your results, you're a star Smile