to get cross at this engineer ? Feminist rage.

[PaddingtonStareBare]

DH thinks I have 'ishoos'

So we have a broken piece of equipment at home, I call the help line and speak to an engineer. He tells me a certain part will need to be replaced (major part). I ask if this is something that can be done at home or does it require a specialist to do, at the same time I'm looking at said piece of equipment and thinking "Doesn't look to hard."

After my question the engineer then asks me if my husband is "mechanically minded" I pause (there has been no mention of my marital status or husband at this point) and started to get pissed off at this assumption that the man has to do it, I replied "What needs doing then ?" Engineer goes on to explain it's just some screws basically and you just screw a new peice on.

I then said "Well it doesn't sound like a man can be the only one to do that thanks, it might surprise you I even know the difference between a flathead and a phillips screwdriver !" He then goes on to say "Yes but some men just tend to do those things don't they and the women don't" and carries on to tell me about the part and cost.

I told him not to assume that all women are incapable of doing that but ended the call politely. It still bloody pissed me off that he automatically assumed the "Man of House" does anything involving a screwdriver. I told DH this when he came in and he laughed it off saying I had issues and yes that is how it is in some couples etc etc, I said of course it is but it's the assumption that pissed me off.

Was I being unreasonable to get shitty at the engineer ? and my husband or am I being over sensitive ?

Yanbu. We needed some work doing. I was sorting it out because at the time I was working fewer hours than dh and because well I was the one who knew what needed doing.

Most tradesmen (and they were all men as it happens) were polite and respectful. One (we'll call him Mr Slug because he was revolting) addressed the answers to my questions to dh and then followed him out of the house and down the road to carry on talking to him leaving me mid description of a problem with the electrics. Dh had left because he had just happened to be in the room briefly on the way out. I was about to throw Mr S out when he left of his own accord. Oh, and did I mention he was 20 mins late and then immediately went into the only toilet for 10 minutes to do a particularly smelly shit without any apology or please? Odious man

Is she feeling his groin soupdragon?

YABU to refer to this person as an engineer.

SlightlyAshamed1 Most Sky dishes aren't that well lined up right from the word go and freezing and blocky pictures are typical of dish misalignment. In fact its quite a crafty device the Sky dish. The Sky satellites are very powerful ones so it dosen't need that Big a dish to receive them on. Reason being is that if a competitor started up nearby then the Sky dish wouldn't be able to receive them as their signals won't be as strong!they reasoned that few would bother with changing to a bigger dish.

FWIW there is a slightly bigger dish for use in the north of England and Scotland a zone 2 dish.

It won't improve the programmes though;!.

As to cars. Now ex wife came into some money and decided to treat herself to a new car. Went to see local main dealer for first choice car and the salesman there kept talking to me all the time and totally ignored her, after all she was the costumer not i.

In the end she was so pissed off we went to another garage that that make Volvo, wasn't the first choice but the salesman there, totally different approach talked to her the Whole time and result, sale of a new car :)

Is she feeling his groin soupdragon?

I think she is giving a hand job whilst he does the manly work of screwing.

On the one hand he might be right in that husbands tend to have more experience in such things.

On the other that is entirely down to social conditioning and things are hardly going to change if people don't make an effort to stop lazy assumptions.

15 years ago, I'd have been fuming, too, but I have to delegate a lot of such work to DH, now, simply because I've lost a lot of strength and mobility in my hands.

Yanbu - Hotpoint drove me crazy with this recently. Several different engineers came to fix freezer. To each one I explained the fan was the problem (I'm not an engineer, it was just bloody obvious), and every time I was dimissed. One even handed me a freezer drawer and told me to clean it instead
After a MONTH of engineers the problem turned out to be...the fan. Fucking twats. Am in the process of submitting a complaint.

Justaboy interesting about Sky.

Sky broadband was equally frustrating, but DH dealt with that. The broadband was patchy and temperamental and eventually we gave up and went with BT. I think DH got a similar dollop of condescension but his was coloured blue and the contacts at Sky didn't call him 'luv'.

Yanbu to be angry that he assumed that only your DH would be capable of fixing the equipment. Having said that, I'm hopeless with fixing anything or anything DIY-related, so in our household it's DH who does these types of jobs, a matter I should probably try and remedy.

Yanbu at all.

I'm the handy one around the house. Had a guy come around to unblock the drains once who said 'get you're husband to knock up some concrete' yeah right, bloke can hardly climb a ladder.

YANBU.

YANBU

DP couldn't tell you what an alternator was or the difference between carburettored and a fuel injected engine, yet when the car goes to the shop I explain the problem and the mechanic talks to my partner. Who then looks at me to answer. I wouldn't mind so much if my partner started the conversation but when I drive up, walk in with him trailing behind me looking a little lost, and say "I think the CV's are shot" I'd like the response to be directed to me.

I'm shocked by how many women on here seem to think that because they aren't "mechanically minded" that makes it ok for this casual sexism to be the norm.

I still haven't gotten over the day my DP and I picked up my teenage cousin from camp, and she asked me why I was the one driving. Uh because I taught him how to drive, am better at it, and own the car.

Although where I live woodwork or metalwork are a mandatory part of the curriculum. So any incompetence in these areas is entirely voluntary, because sadly many girls do decide to actively not learn anything in these classes because they will apparently never need it. Pfft.

DP is an electrician by the way. So he is pretty mechanically minded himself. But I would die of old age waiting on him to do all the little jobs.

I would have had the rage too!

This type of everyday sexism really pisses me off, as does the casual acceptance of it.

I'm a chemist (as in a mixing stuff up in the lab and see if they go boom kind of way, as opposed to a pharmacist). I've worked for many years in male dominated environments. How do you think that the numbers of females within STEM will increase with casual attitudes that "girls aren't usually good at that kind of stuff". I'm the same way, I'm no better or worse at fixing household objects than dh, gender has nothing to do within it - in fact, I end up fixing most stuff because if I didn't I'd be waiting till the end of time for dh to get round to it. I did live on my own till I was 30 though, so no option to play the " poor little woman" card to get practical stuff done.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS FUCKING GOING ON WITH ALL THE FUCKING ZOMBIE THREADS???

OP YANBU I have walked out of car showrooms before because they'll only talk to DH despite knowing it's for me. Chuffs me off when they come it down the phone as well and I've got no qualms with telling them to talk to me like an adult.

With regard to the engineer vs technician thing I agree with accurate job titles, you can call yourself an engineer if you like but it doesn't mean you are one. I have an IMechE accredited mech eng degree and we were visited by an IMechE chap who explained their drive to have the job title engineer protected so that only people in R&D were called engineers and not people who simply replace parts/fix broken things by following a process. Nothing wrong with those jobs at all, it's what my dad did before anyone gets all huffy at me, but they're simply not the same. I've worked in the car industry on prototype engines, DH is quite high up doing that and is a 'proper' engineer. BIL fixes and services lawnmowers for a living and calls himself an engineer. Simple point of fact is that you really cannot compare their jobs in any way at all, they're not both engineers. People think that anyone who fixes, replaces or patches anything remotely technical is an engineer, the term has become massively devalued as a result. Some people might just see it as snobbery but if you've trained for 7+ years to get Chartered status and work at the sharp end of new tech then I think you're quite entitled to be miffed that someone who simply changes parts gives themselves the same job title.

I was in a cafe the other day with DP.

I ordered a massive sausage sandwich, he ordered a salad. Guess which plate I got given?!

"I ordered a massive sausage sandwich"

*snort

My mum walked away from a car showroom because the sales person kept talking to my dad about the car. She told him in no uncertain terms his attitude was ridiculous and he'd lost a sale because of it.