WWYD: Partner's housemate off the rails

[Sillyme234]

My fiancé is a medical student and lives with several other medics in a shared house - we're looking for our own place in the next year or so. One of his housemates (his best friend in the house until recently) has gone totally off the rails lately (ever since a new housemate moved in). He's taking cocaine and smoking excessive weed in their living room, recently had friends to visit who threw up in the kitchen and bathroom after a night out and didn't clean up- waking the house up with noise and most recently, brought a prostitute to the house who he paid to give oral sex to him and friends in the living room.

This is all making for a pretty unpleasant home life but there are a few added complexities:

1. On one of this housemates recent nights, they called the coke dealer who delivered it to the house, my fiancé doesn't like the fact that a dealer knows where they live.
2. The housemate, like my fiancé and the others are all medical students who spend all weekdays in hospitals, treating patients under a lot of supervision - this includes taking blood and other procedures with patient consent - a lot of the wild drug fuelled nights have been on school nights
3. Is specific to my fiancé: he volunteers part time and because of the nature of his job, he can't be associated with any kind of drug use. He hasn't been involved in any if these nights out (I totally trust him) but he is worried about the repercussions if this housemate gets caught.
4. It's just generally unpleasant. Apparently the incident with the prostitute (which another friend filmed) was like something out of the riot club with rich toffs throwing money at a woman and talking to her in an obscene way.

My fiancé is gutted that it's come to this with his friend who has changed a lot lately in personality. I think he's also worried about being linked to him if things go wrong. WWYD in this situation?

He needs to move out and distance himself

Move. Can he?

Also, people that treat other human beings that way are scum. Nasty misogynist scum. I wouldn't want to be anywhere near him.

He can't really move without a lot of faff and expense- he's locked into a rental. Plus he gets on extremely well with other housemates and doesn't want to have to move.

He needs to move. I'm assuming that's an issue since it's the obvious solution.

I personally would be contacting someone at the uni he's studying at. Someone needs to know about his behaviour. At the same time, find somewhere else to live.better still, have a house meeting And get everyone else to join in the "find somewhere else to live, we're not puttingup with this shit." conversation.

I should add: all of the housemates are furious.
Of course I care most about my fiancé and it's effect on him, it's affecting them all.

Move. He has to. This goes way beyond student 'high jinks'.

Also, does he really want to be friends with someone who behaves in this way?

He sounds like a disgusting human being and I wouldn't want him anywhere near me, never mind treating me as his patient.

If you're engaged, can you not move in together?

Either he moves or the man causing all the trouble does. It's worrying that he's taking drugs and probably treating patients still high. Is there any way of informing the hospital of his behaviour?

We're about to move in together but can't for at least another few months

Can he stay with you?

He can easily get out of his contract, if he finds his own replacement, for example.
It sounds like a pretty detrimental place to live and I'd be encouraging him to get out asap.
The thing with the prostitute. Just grim. I wouldn't want to be associated with that kind of scrum, even vicariously. He must realise this could seriously fuck up his career.

Can the housemates all gang up on off the rails chap and tell him to do one?

He should move - I don't know if it's the same now but could problems with drugs (albeit not his own) cause problems on his medical course?

Or, actually, get the guy who is doing all the drugs/prostitute bringing in/ott partying evicted. Job done!

He can certainly stay with me but I think he would rather the housemate got kicked out. He doesn't see why he should have to move when he's done nothing wrong and enjoys living there.

When I first found out I was so tempted to inform the medical school/ hospital but my fiancé and the other housemates would certainly get into trouble for association plus the other guy could deny it.
Fiancé doesn't want a friendship with this guy anymore but he just wants a nice home life in his last few months living with friends

The sensible housemates need to make it clear to this person that it's not acceptable. What are the terms of the rental? If this person is in breach of the rental contract, can they get him kicked out?

Report the housemate to the GMC. Medical students are covered by similar rules to qualified doctors.

He will have contact with patients and may be examining and doing minor procedures like taking blood. He should not be doing this - what if it was a member of your family.

Your fiancé as a medical student has a duty to report him - either to the medical school or the gmc. If your fiancé is going to be a good doctor this is an early and difficult lesson to learn and he cannot shirk the responsibility just because it's difficult.

If I were you - or your partner - I'd borrow a friend unknown to this housemate and go and have a 'talk' with him. I'd have him told, in no uncertain terms, that the drugs and other behaviour stops NOW or the Police/Medical School will be informed. If he's unwilling to stop then he has to be 'encouraged' to move out. Sometimes pussy-footing about has no effect - especially with drug users - and for that reason I'd make sure the person having the word was sufficiently intimidating to get through to this chap.
That's the trouble when people get involved with cocaine - they lose their perspective and think it's all frightfully exciting. It's not. It ruins lives. He WILL end up with a record and a career destroyed before it even takes off.

And yes - Piccalilli makes an excellent point. Your partner does have a duty to report this. If the drug user made a mistake that led to the death of a patient what then? Doesn't bear thinking about.

If all the housemates are upset over this behaviour then why aren't they kicking him out?

Its a faff to move, tough.
It's also a faff when your reputation has been destroyed. Does your fiancé not have a duty to report someone who was doings coke the night before treating patients?
If something happens on a shift and its found out he knew would he be kicked out of med school?

Your fiance will be only be in trouble for association if he doesn't report him. He needs to go and talk to whichever tutor he has been allocated for pastoral care ASAP, even if he doesnt name his housemate.

Obviously from the sounds of it he'd rather the housemate got kicked out but until/if that happens he needs to stay with you. Problem solved.