WWYD: Partner's housemate off the rails

[Sillyme234]

My fiancé is a medical student and lives with several other medics in a shared house - we're looking for our own place in the next year or so. One of his housemates (his best friend in the house until recently) has gone totally off the rails lately (ever since a new housemate moved in). He's taking cocaine and smoking excessive weed in their living room, recently had friends to visit who threw up in the kitchen and bathroom after a night out and didn't clean up- waking the house up with noise and most recently, brought a prostitute to the house who he paid to give oral sex to him and friends in the living room.

This is all making for a pretty unpleasant home life but there are a few added complexities:

1. On one of this housemates recent nights, they called the coke dealer who delivered it to the house, my fiancé doesn't like the fact that a dealer knows where they live.
2. The housemate, like my fiancé and the others are all medical students who spend all weekdays in hospitals, treating patients under a lot of supervision - this includes taking blood and other procedures with patient consent - a lot of the wild drug fuelled nights have been on school nights
3. Is specific to my fiancé: he volunteers part time and because of the nature of his job, he can't be associated with any kind of drug use. He hasn't been involved in any if these nights out (I totally trust him) but he is worried about the repercussions if this housemate gets caught.
4. It's just generally unpleasant. Apparently the incident with the prostitute (which another friend filmed) was like something out of the riot club with rich toffs throwing money at a woman and talking to her in an obscene way.

My fiancé is gutted that it's come to this with his friend who has changed a lot lately in personality. I think he's also worried about being linked to him if things go wrong. WWYD in this situation?

I agree re your DH talking to his tutor. He needs to raise this asap and formally for his own safety etc.

Well, no he shouldn't have to move.

But it's jeopardising his career and he's only there for another couple of months. If he wants no aggro he should just pack up and stay with you.

Just to be clear, from GMC guidance:

31. It is also important that doctors and students protect patients from harm posed by another colleague’s behaviour, performance or health. They should take steps to raise any concerns with the appropriate person.*

32. In order to demonstrate that they are fit to practise, students should: (a-e not relevant)
    f. raise concerns about overall practice in a healthcare setting or about colleagues, including other students, medical practitioners and other healthcare workers, with the appropriate person† if patients are at risk of harm.

I am a doctor. I am appalled by the flat mates behaviour but also pretty appalled that no one in the house cares enough about the patients they are treating to report this. That's not the way this career works.

He does need to report this.
OP you said "since a new housemate moved in- is it two dodgy housemates or one? If it's one, could the housemates split the cost of the "off the rails guy" rent between them, and tell him they will buy him out of the lease and they would like him to go asap?
If it's two, your OH will have a nicer life if he moves out.

As for him lying about it, I imagine as a medical student he will have agreed to random drugs teasting?

Er no. It's not the Olympics.

Your fiance and other housemates are obliged by GMC guidelines to flag this up to the medical school, if your fiance has a trusted clinical supervisor then they're probably the best person to go to.

You cannot work in clinical areas having been under the influence of Class A drugs. It's a total impairment of fitness to practice.

He and his housemates should report it together.

Doctors don't get random drug testing, but I agree with everyone who says this behaviour would preclude house mate from becoming a Dr and also your fiancé who is doing nothing about it. Sucks big time but fiancé needs to get out ASAP before bad stuff happens and he is implicated.

right, do they rent rooms separately, or have they joint rented the house together? that will determine what options they have.

If they rent the house together, can your DP and other housemates afford to cover the shortfall in rent if loser housemate is thrown out and they can't replace him?

I would suggest he starts with speaking to his tutor, explain the situation and get it in writing that he's not involved and is worried about loser housemate's behaviour.

If loser housemate is thrown out of uni in a way that doesn't negatively impact on your DP (so your DP is on record as having raised the issue, it's less likely he's going to be dragged into it), then the problem may solve itself if he also leaves the flat and goes back to his parents, but there might be a bigger issue for your DP if loser is thrown out of uni but stays in the flat. At that point, worth blowing it open and trying to get the landlord to let them out of the contract early...

It is not enough simply to move out or get the flatmate to move out.

As Piccalilli says, the fact that your DP knows about flatmate's drug abuse and other behaviour means he is obliged to report it.

If he does not, then he is guilty of unprofessional behaviour, and is jeopardising his own future career in medicine.

a lot of faff and expense !! Your fiance accepts this as a good reason to do nothing in this kind of situation? A lot of faff and expense means put up with a housemate who doesn't help with housecleaning or plays loud music till late...those sorts of things. Not class A drugs, bringing prostitutes home, and putting his career at risk. I think this is telling you something quite worrying about your fiancé's character.

He needs to report this. This is why unsafe doctors (and other health professionals) get away with being dangerous, because people don't report it. He has a responsibility to do this. It is really scary that a house full of medical students haven't done this yet.

Firstly your OH needs to report this. If he reports it, although he lives with the offender he won't be guilty by association and will have a clear conscience that he has stopped someone under the influence of drugs treating vulnerable patients.
Secondly, get him to check his tenancy agreement, most of mine have had a clause about illegal activity being grounds for eviction, drug use, encouraging prostitution etc, could be a way to get horrible housemate out! Otherwise he needs to move.

I've had a drug testing clause in job contracts and I don't work in an environment like the one, surely if drug taking is suspected they can be asked to test?

Otherwise all these saying medical staff are not allowed to take drugs are saying he would be sacked/removed from course due to a suspicion being reported.

He's jeopardising the rest of his training by not reporting. It will come out that this housemate is unprofessional (to say the least!).

If your partner knows this and knowingly allows him near patients... Well gosh.

I agree it sounds crap and he shouldn't be doing it, but he won't be the only medical student taking drugs. Surely if he's only doing it at the weekend and not on a "school night" then it's no different to going and getting hammered every night?

Caspo- it says in the OP that a lot of the drug filled nights have been on school nights.

I think there is a massive difference between what your loyfriend wants- a pleasant few months with his pals, and what actually is possible...

Staying there and doing nothing is a stupid, stupid, risky option, however your boyfriend may wishe it wasn't!! .... If the flatmate's behaviour is uncovered, and it's discovered that the 'decent' flatmates did nothing - it could be seen that they are complicit in the behaviour.... Professional organisations don't have an illustrious history of sorting the wheat from the chaff in these sort of cases.... There is no doubt he could get seriously caught up in this... Ive seen variations happen of this before!

I would also be very concerned about the prostitute filming... Anyone seeing it, which someone will, not knowing all the context, may assume your boyfriend is off camera or taking the film...

He needs to put as much space between him and the miscreant as possible, and fast...

It only takes one party and one person chatting about it loudly in a corridor and the medical school would know before he had a chance to think!

He needs to be proactive in this!!

Sensible flatmates need to report it together. Unfortunately pillar of the community jobs carry that sort of responsibility.

He needs to speak to someone in student services about this and have it on record in case the shit hits the fan before he's had a chance to move out.

Caspo are you one of those people who always bends over backwards to point that Class A drug use is no worse than having a pint in the pub or having some wine with your dinner?

Are you completely incapable of seeing the bigger picture here?

I agree with those saying he needs to do something very quickly. It's Monday today! Who cares if the other flatmates go with him? Report it.

Yes, also completely agree with Curlyhaired if it's just one housemate and the others are fine then they need to hold an emergency meeting with him to tell him to shape up or move out asap and that they will not tolerate having the dealer turn up at the house or him bringing druggie friends and prostitutes to the house. If they are all united he will have to either change or move out. If he refuses they can threaten togo the the police, the landlord and the head of his course.

Your partner is training to be a doctor. This will not be the first time he sees irresponsible behaviour and has to decide whether to report it or cover it up for the sake of an easy life. If he doesn't decide to act ethically now in the interests of patient safety it's going to be that much harder to do the right thing next time.

Drug abusing flatmate needs to be kicked out of the flat and kicked out of medical school. This will be a kindness in the long run - doing it now could mean that with family support he can get clean and resume studies next academic year having learned an incredibly valuable lesson.