WWYD: Partner's housemate off the rails

[Sillyme234]

My fiancé is a medical student and lives with several other medics in a shared house - we're looking for our own place in the next year or so. One of his housemates (his best friend in the house until recently) has gone totally off the rails lately (ever since a new housemate moved in). He's taking cocaine and smoking excessive weed in their living room, recently had friends to visit who threw up in the kitchen and bathroom after a night out and didn't clean up- waking the house up with noise and most recently, brought a prostitute to the house who he paid to give oral sex to him and friends in the living room.

This is all making for a pretty unpleasant home life but there are a few added complexities:

1. On one of this housemates recent nights, they called the coke dealer who delivered it to the house, my fiancé doesn't like the fact that a dealer knows where they live.
2. The housemate, like my fiancé and the others are all medical students who spend all weekdays in hospitals, treating patients under a lot of supervision - this includes taking blood and other procedures with patient consent - a lot of the wild drug fuelled nights have been on school nights
3. Is specific to my fiancé: he volunteers part time and because of the nature of his job, he can't be associated with any kind of drug use. He hasn't been involved in any if these nights out (I totally trust him) but he is worried about the repercussions if this housemate gets caught.
4. It's just generally unpleasant. Apparently the incident with the prostitute (which another friend filmed) was like something out of the riot club with rich toffs throwing money at a woman and talking to her in an obscene way.

My fiancé is gutted that it's come to this with his friend who has changed a lot lately in personality. I think he's also worried about being linked to him if things go wrong. WWYD in this situation?

Yep.

You don't stop being a doctor after 5pm once you're back in the house. The GMC care about one thing: patient safety above all else. Your Bf knowingly sees his friend doing examinations and procedures on patients in hospital. He has to realise how serious this is.

In 5 years time, will you trust this person to interpret blood results or a chest x-ray (or scarier - holding a scalpel) during a comedown, or heaven forbid, still high?

Your fiance and the other housemates need to intervene. They should talk to their friend, report him to the uni, and make it very clear that his behaviour is intolerable. friends don't let friends ruin their lives without trying to intervene. I'm sorry but your fiance needs to man up a bit, and before you marry him, you might want to take careful notes as to whether he can or whether he's happy to walk away from this guy for a quiet life.

He needs to report the nasty little shit flatmate ASAP . It is the only right thing to do .

They are training to be doctors and cannot see what they need to do?

As a doctor posted upthread, they are none of them behaving as their chosen career demands.

They all need to stand up and do what is right, legal and ethical. If they don't and they just sit back, fingers crossed, hoping it will all be doable for a few more months, then they all deserve to be censured by the Uni and the BMA.

They have chosen a profession, one that has high levels of responsibility and a clear moral and professional code of conduct. How much more clear can their obligation be?

I'm sorry but this guy HAS to be reported. It's an accident (or death) waiting to happen if he crawls into his placement after getting on it all night. I've been wild in my youth and I'm telling you now, you can't function 100% (far from it!) after having been 'partying' the night before.

He needs to report. Not just for himself, not just for any future patients, but for his friend. This is pretty serious going off the rails for what must be a bright and ambitious young man.

It sounds like he needs help.

Could you move into their house to replace the dodgy housemate if they all ganged up to kick him out for his behaviour? Then they wouldn't be out of pocket for an empty room.

Also, has anyone informed the guy's parents? A short sharp shock might well be delivered if Mummy and Daddy find out about cocaine and prostitute parties, which might even have an effect if they are financially supporting him in any way.

I suggest that he gathers all the other house mates together (not the trouble maker) and they agree an intervention. They need to sit this guy down and set some ground rules i.e. no drug dealer visits, and if he breaks these rules, he's out. I doubt it will be tough finding a new house mate for the available room.

It is tough love but has to be done as this guy seems to be on a self destructive path and I doubt he cares who he takes with him.

I'm guessing that if the housemates are being heavily supervised in hospital they are still in the first year or two of their course. Once they are further on medical students are trusted to take far more responsibility for their patients.

Your DP has an obligation to report the students that he knows are taking drugs. Being a doctor is tough and it could be that some of his housemates are not cut out for the profession. Your DP has to man up and do the right thing.