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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to take DC to school disco?

73 replies

Mabledoggly · 09/10/2015 18:14

DC's (7 & 10) school is half an hour away. They want to go to the school disco tonight but I've already spent 2 hours driving them backwards and forwards today.

Their father has plans and can't help out so I've told them they can't go this time. There are six discos a year.

They have been crying on and off since 3:30 and I'm feeling horribly guilty and shit. Aibu?

OP posts:
sugar21 · 09/10/2015 18:21

Yes

totalrecall1 · 09/10/2015 18:22

Yes

RachelZoe · 09/10/2015 18:24

6 discos a year??? What on earth??

If they have 5 more opportunities this year then they'll survive. If you warned them long in advance they wouldn't be attending then YANBU, if you've just suddenly sprung this on them and they were looking forward to it then YABateenytinybitU, that's not really fair from their point of view.

Bluecheese22 · 09/10/2015 18:24

Yes

m0therofdragons · 09/10/2015 18:25

Presumably you chose that school so that is what you signed up to. Dc will hopefully go to my favourite school which is half an hour away so I imagine I'll feel the same in a few years. I probably would have taken mine and someone else's dc so other parent could collect.

BoneyBackJefferson · 09/10/2015 18:25

yes

AnnaMarlowe · 09/10/2015 18:25

Why are you only just deciding this now?

Fair enough if you don't want them to go but surely that's something you communicate in advance so they don't get all excited about it.

Oysterbabe · 09/10/2015 18:26

Yep.

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 09/10/2015 18:26

Yes. You chose a school that far away. Friends will be discussing it the next day and your DC will be left out.

balletgirlmum · 09/10/2015 18:26

Ds's junior school was a similar distance. I used to work Fridays but always arranged for him to go. Unless you are ill or similar YABU.

If I wasn't working we would just take a change of clothes to school for pick up & not go home , either McDonalds or local pub for tea.

It's only once every half term & these things are so important socially. Everyone will have been getting excited about it I assume they havnt misbehaved in any way but they will see this as a punishment.

SaucyJack · 09/10/2015 18:27

Yes YABU.

Suck it up sunshine :-)

MISCELLENY · 09/10/2015 18:30

NO! Def not unreasonable!!

ArkhamOffitt · 09/10/2015 18:31

If you told them from the start they couldn't go to this one then YANBU. But you can't not take them to any of them. It's part of school life.

TidyDancer · 09/10/2015 18:31

Yes of course YABU if you had previously said yes.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 09/10/2015 18:31

Yes to decide on the day.

No if it was next week and you warned them

CluckingBelle · 09/10/2015 18:37

Why don't you want to take them? Are you I'll? Exhausted? Have to work really early tomorrow morning or have an assignment due in on Monday?

If none of the above and you just don't want to drive then yes you ABU. It's not their fault the school is far away. Next time could you find somewhere to go/a friend to visit near to the school between pickup and disco, so you only have to drive home once?

definiteissues · 09/10/2015 18:40

This reply has been deleted

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Chilledmonkeybrains · 09/10/2015 18:40

Depends when you made the decision and when you told them. The distance is irrelevant.

PotteringAlong · 09/10/2015 18:41

Completely unreasonable!

Gottagetmoving · 09/10/2015 18:45

No YANBU.
Children don't have to do everything they want. It's not as if it's a one off event, there are six a year!
So long as you had not previously said they could go then that's ok. If you had said they could then that is unreasonable.
. It won't kill them to miss this one and its as important kids learn to handle disappointment as it is to have treats.

BertrandRussell · 09/10/2015 18:48

This is why I always say no school or house is worth a commute. It's a pain in the arse. I did it for years. But in my next life I will turn my back on the lovely house and live near the school.

But yes, you are being unreasonable.

FishWithABicycle · 09/10/2015 18:48

These things are important. 6 times a year surely you could manage to find a solution. Don't they have any friends living closer to school to whose house they could go between end of school and disco? Or could you take a packed tea and their party clothes and hang out in a nearby cafe with a good book while they dance?

It's tough being left out of these events. I'm not surprised it's a big deal for them.

Obviously it's too late this time but I hope you try to make an effort next time.

MaxieMouse · 09/10/2015 18:50

YABU. It's not their fault the school is half an hour away, this is what you sign up to when you have children in school.

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/10/2015 18:54

Yanbu. no one can attend everything all the time. it will do no harm.to learn this.

next time however given the situation wont change it might be worth considering sharing witg another parent so the take kids after school and yku pick up from the disco as you can't say no every time.

of your dp usually helps and this is a one off that he can't then these things happen.

absolutelyloveit · 09/10/2015 18:56

Hasn't it already started by now?!?

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