To be a bit WTAF??

[libertysilk]

Friend I'd not seen for a while visited and in general conversation asked me if I'd got a will and who would look after my 2 year old dd if anything happened to me. Thought it was a strange thing to ask, but responded that a close friend is down to look after dd, as I'm a lp.
Saw said friend a week later, and she asked the same question. Who would look after lo if anything happened to me. Saying she would be happy to have her name put on my will in case anything happened to me. I felt very uncomfortable with her questions, so changed the subject.
I'm left feeling really uncomfortable with her question. Why ask such a question? It really unnerved me, as she's not a maternal person, and I'd never leave dd alone with her anyway.
AIBU to feel this way, or do I need to get a grip?

It does sound pretty odd, especially the second time. Does she spend time with other kids or nieces and nephews?

Does she normally ask weird questions?

Maybe she'd just seen a film that made her ponder it is all.

Creepy. Whatever you do, don't tell her you've added her to your will! Sounds like she might hire a hit man.

I suppose it is a bit odd if it's out of the blue.

Did you not ask her why the second time?

YANBU. That's odd.

Purely out of interest; why would you not leave DD alone with her?

Does she have dc? Maybe it's something she's been considering herself so it's just on her mind?

Weird weird weird step away slowly.

I've deliberately kept my distance from her, as she can be a very spiteful and negative person. I'd gotten tired of her treating me badly. My son doesn't like her, and has said so in the past. I'd not seen her for about a year, and have been deliberately trying to distance myself from her.
She's been speaking about fostering or adopting to give her an extra income, not because she loves children.
I'd never trust her with my dd alone as she isn't really maternal, and I don't know if I could trust her not to be kind. I'd be worried she'd speak nastily to dd or have a strict disciplinarian manner towards her. She has two children, one recently went off to uni. She said she was relieved and doesn't miss him.
I didn't want to confront her, as she has said things such as 'oh your so sensitive' or 'don't be so utterly ridiculous to ask such a thing'. Hence, me distancing myself from her. I come away from seeing her feeling like I wish I hadn't spent time with her.

Yes, does she have DCs of her own?

It does seem a bit of a strange question, but maybe she'd been working out things for her own DCs and thought you may not have anyone to ask, so she should offer?

Still a bit of a presumption if you have trustworthy family anywhere around though! Also being a LP doesn't always mean that you wouldn't trust your ex with the DCs!

x-posts. Then she's just odd.

Very odd! Please take it as an opportunity to draft a will (risk-averse lawyer here), but obviously not with her listed!

funny but i talked about this with a friend of mine donkeys years ago i said i would put her in because she didn't have any girls and would spoil my girl rotten she might not have been the closest friend but she was an absolutely cracking parent (to her soon to be eight boys) and i knew where my daughter would be better off

but if she had talked about it like your friend i would be a bit

She is obviously seen the Friends episode with Christina Applegate.

Tis a funny episode.

Perhaps your DD is in line to receive a good inheritance? (That's a rhetorical question!) Odd that she singles her out rather than both your children (although perhaps your DS is an adult).

Remember that not every question deserves an answer. If she brings it up again either ignore her or reply (icily) "You've asked that before and I told you then that my affairs are in order" and change the subject.

Very weird.

It sounds like she wants the position for her own gain not your DDs.

It is a good idea to distance from her as much as possible.

Sorry, but the way shes asked you such a personal thing twice is odd

if you did choose to put her down as your DDs guardian I would then be very wary of assassination attempts!

Weirdo

Nothing like a "revisit" to remind you why didn't see her for a year.

OP, you mention that she is considering fostering or adopting for extra income very odd motive. I wonder if she is asking you to actually do this in order that she can somehow use it as a "selling point" on application ie : my friend has me down as guardian in her will. Just pondering really. Very odd indeed. I agree, you just need to tell her that her offer is very kind, but your affairs are in order.

Maybe there's something going on in her personal life that's made her re evaluate hers and people close to her. Did you ask her why the interest?

She sounds like a right charmer .

I don't blame you for not wanting your children around her.

Cut her out, she sounds like a horrible person and why would you bother with her at all when she says horrible things to you.