to wish there was more support with weaning!

[Beth2511]

I'm in the position of not knowing anyone else with babies or having much advice from parents on how to wean DD.

DD is ten months and refuses breakfast, normally has a decent lunch and dinner and a couple of snacks during the day. Snacks include the likes of rice cakes, yoghurts, biscuits, fruit etc.

Now the bit I'm completely stuck on is that despite all this food I just can not get her to take water so she is still drinking just as much milk, she hasn't dropped any feeds yet. I have tried a few things to get her to drop milk and start water but nothing works.

She also won't touch breakfast. I don't know what to do next and everything online contradicts and I feel so lost :(

I really wouldn't worry. There's a saying 'Food is for fun until they're one' and some babies gorge themselves from 4 months onwards while others still prefer milk at 15 months (as my younger one did).

I tend to think that if they've got some fruit and veg in there then they are doing ok the items you've listed sound perfectly fine to me!

If you want to talk to a real-life person, then maybe a health visitor can reassure you a bit. Do you know any who are reliably nice/knowledgeable? They tend to vary.....

And I'll say it again: don't worry! It sounds like she is just fine :)

Have you tried watering down the milk?

Food is fun until one.

You don't need support. Chuck what you're eating on a high chair tray, eat your dinner, and chat to them. She'll eat it if she's hungry, and sees you eating it.

You could try watering down the milk, if she's constipated, if she's not constipated, she's getting enough liquid. Are you breastfeeding?

Unless there's a medical history (eg. prolonged NG feeding, etc) you haven't mentioned, you're worrying over nothing. It's eating. She's far more likely to be too good at it, going by our societal obesity problem, than not get the hang of it.

It sounds to me like she's doing fine! I would just keep giving a sippy cup of water with each meal, and she'll get there in the end.

My 9mo DS is also still very into milk (doesn't help that I still bf him to sleep). I try him with a bit of water every time I give him food. He also doesn't eat breakfast (though I did give him porridge at lunch time!). He's not drinking much of the water yet.

I'm hoping it will have worked itself out a bit by the time he turns 1. I'm aiming for just giving him something each lunch and dinner time and keeping it varied. Sardines on toast were a big hit.

Don't stress. Just offer a variety of healthy food, if she eats it great, if she doesn't never mind.
None of mine took to water until they were way older than one. DD was 12 before she started drinking it now she drinks little else.

Have you tried weetabix made with her milk for breakfast? Ds loves that. He also likes his Tommee Tippee cup with a built in straw the best and has much more water from that than any other cup.

But no, YADNBU. I have found weaning ds quite stressful!

I found a chat with the HV very useful.

My baby is the opposite - she's not fussed about milk and won't drink the recommended amount. I find the 'give them what you're having' a little unrealistic, mostly due to the salt content of the food we eat.

My 20 month old won't eat breakfast. His sister wouldn't either until she was at least 3, possibly 4. Some kids just don't want food that early, although both wanted milk first thing. The he gets hungry for something mid morning, which can obviously be something breakfast style or not as you prefer.

He wasn't really that into food but recently but now loves a lot of different things. I mainly did chucking things in front of him, and he will make it clear if he wants you to help him. I don't mind spooning him some food if he is really hungry and getting frustrated with his spoon and fork as I know he can use them.

To be honest yours sounds as if she's eating plenty!

Glad someone thinks that too Pico2 , was beginning to feel like the only person who doesn't eat food suitable for under 1s very often!

More support? There is more support for almost every aspect of life and parenting than there has ever been. There is the feeding topic on here, for a start, and a thousand other similar websites, blogs etc. There are hundreds of parenting books, health visitors, advice lines and programmes on cable channels.
Less "support" would probably make it a lot easier to just get on with it. Support is really jsut getting more people to obsess about it with you.

Your child doesn't have to have breakfast, or water. If they are healthy and happy and eating a range of foods, let them alone. She's just a baby!

My local children's centre runs weaning talks. It is aimed at younger babies but it might be worth enquiring

Let me reassure you, she is doing fine. Food before one is purely complimentary to a milk feeds diet. And even after one some children are milk mad, my DS certainly was. See how she goes until shes 12 months without even thinking about reducing her milk. If shes still continuing the same way at 18 months maybe review it and speak to your gp/hv for advice but I really wouldn't give it a second thought now.

Sounds to me like she is doing just fine and if she is still having lots of milk then it is no wonder she is not hungry for breakfast. I would just leave a sippy cup of water around wherever she is playing and she'll eventually pick it up and drink.

Don't forget that a lot of food has water in it too so don't stress. Maybe try offering slightly less milk first thing but otherwise it will all come together.

There is a great book I wish I had discovered when mine were just starting on food called something like 'How to get the little blighters to eat' - it really helped take the stress out of mealtimes for me so might be worth a read.

Well, I don't cook with salt anyway, so added it to my portion after. If it encourages you to cook a little less with salt, then that's probably good fore everyone.

What foods that should be in a healthy diet are unsuitable for under 1 year olds, unless you cover everything in honey every day?

They don't need special food. Leave the salt out until after, and give them what you eat. If they see you won't eat it, it's not surprising they don't trust it.

That assumes that you cook from scratch all the time. And eat healthily all the time.

My DD has never seen me eat baby food, she seems to trust it.

Will echo what has already been said let DD try a little bit of your food, on tray if she will feed herself or try it mushed up, she may prefer it

Breakfast, what has worked with each of my DCs is a slice of toast with a scraping of marmite or bovril to chew on and a small amount of porridge mixed with homemade fruit purée (I batch cook and blend the fruit then freeze in ice cube trays which means breakfast is simple to make, and the frozen fruit helps cool the porridge)

What constance said. I think it's best not to do overdo it with the support when you're a parent - find out what the guidelines are and apply them to your situation as you think is suitable. There is no online blog, book, parenting expert or HV who has the perfect answer to your questions, you need to find that out yourself.
Your baby sounds like she is behaving perfectly normally. Don't force her and she will get there in her own time.
DS doesn't drink water either, but seeing as his nappy is always wet he must be getting enough water from breastmilk and food. He doesn't get much of my food either as I eat a lot of stuff that is either too salty or so liquid it needs to be spoon fed, but he loves what I give him nonetheless.

Baby lead weaning. Follow her lead it will all turn out good on the end.

DO NOT WATER DOWN THE MILK. I assume it's breast or formula as she's 10 months old? She'll still be getting most of her nutrition and calories from milk so watering it down could be harmful. I don't know why anyone would suggest that!

I dont understand why people say water down milk dont water down milk im assuming its formula just give her less i know weaning is a bit different to when i did it a million years ago but mine were still on milk at 10 months i just reduced the fluid ounces ifyswim and upped the food if ypur baby doesnt eat breakfast maybe offer a bannana or something the rest of her diet sounds fine imo maybe offer some watered down fruit juice to give the water a taste if you want but loads of the older babies where i work are still having milk in either a bottle or a sippy cup.

I agree with pp you need to trust yourself you dont need more support its just food and she is eating it what other support do you need you honestly sound like you are doing ok

I think that the most 'support' that could be given would be trying to restore parents confidence that these things will just develop naturally at the baby's own pace. It's completely normal for a 10 month old to be preferring just milk at that age. I think baby food jars give people a misconception that at 7 months you should expect your baby to be eating a honking great jar of chicken dinner puree in one sitting, but it's often not the case. My DS preferred milk too as well at that age (and he still loves milk at 1), please try not to worry (hard I know).

I found weaning harder than breastfeeding in many respects - and I expressed for 4 months before DS learned to breastfeed!

I think the information given was bollocks. I had a one to one session with the HV on weaning. It didn't help. It just made me feel like I was failing or doing something wrong even more. All the advice online made me feel like DS was miles behind and not eating enough.

He's now 13 months old and only really has got it in the last month or so. He is a nightmare as he wants to be in be in control of everything so refuses spoons unless he also has one play with the food and try and feed himself. Before he just refused spoons despite trying everything to coax him.

He will eat a small amount of toast in the morning. A yoghurt about 11am before his nap time. The a small snack after lunch. A snack at about 4pm (often fruit pouch) and then our main meal about 6pm which is the only time he's eating in any quantity. He is still a milk monster really.

Your daughter sounds like she is doing fine tbh.

I was tearing my hair out over it, but the odd thread on MN which said it was normal and a few friends who had similar problems which saved my sanity.

I personally found the advice unhelpful as it was structured in a way which sounded like targets. Your child will be eating this by this age. And introduce this at this age. And when your child doesn't oblige, you think you are doing something wrong, when you aren't.

Its like all these things - they all do things at different times. DS is very active and mobile and talkative. He is just not interested in food. That's just the way he is and the way he has always been. I can not force feed him. And having a fight over food will only make the problem worse.

In short. Be patient. Keep doing what you are doing. Let her work it out in her own time. As soon as she starts to get the ability to feed herself better, I'm sure it will start to work itself out.

I thought milk was the most suitable drunk until they are one? Why are you worried about water at this stage?