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Original poster

'Are you expecting?' when you're not. How to respond?!

68 replies

patientzero · 08/10/2015 17:02

So this happened to me again this week.

I'm not pregnant (I can't have kids but I'm thankfully ok with that).

I've even lost weight recently. Over a stone and 2 dress sizes.

I was a little abrupt in my response and probably made the person feel bad but how are you supposed to respond to that question?! And why are people insensitive or stupid enough to ask it?

OP posts:
AJ48 · 08/10/2015 17:05

I would probably say 'expecting what?' And just give them a puzzled look.

and laugh at their reaction

Sorry this has happened to you OP, it has happened to me once and made me feel awful, well done on the weight loss!

Fourarmsv2 · 08/10/2015 17:07

I think I'd reply 'sadly not'. And leave them to feel bad. Silly question.

helenahandbag · 08/10/2015 17:07

"Yes, I'm expecting not to be asked such a rude question again."

MrsTedCrilly · 08/10/2015 17:08

So rude! I like the above answers, make them feel awkward.

Pyjamaface · 08/10/2015 17:09

It's happened to me and I replied 'No, just fat' and then held eye contact to enjoy their discomfort.

Grown adults should know not to ask

TillITookAnArrowToTheKnee · 08/10/2015 17:10

Happened to me last summer, just after I'd lost a stone, go figure. I was a size 10 and weighed around 10st.

Cab driver asked how far gone I was. I said I was 4 months with twins. He told me I was massive. I said well they will be my 10th and 11th kids. He didn't say a word after that.

I was far more upset than I expected to be. Once I got home I cried. A lot. It's taken me a long time to lose the weight I gained when severely depressed and the cab driver shot the little self esteem I had to pieces.

Spartans · 08/10/2015 17:10

Happened to me, I worked in a restaurant and its was a customer

Customer - 'when are you due?'
Me - 'I am not pregnant?'
Customer ' hahhaa seriously when are you due?'
Me - 'I am not pregnant'
Customer 'are you joking?'
Me -'no'
Customer -'are you trying to make me look like an idiot?'
Customers female friend to the customer - 'the only person making you look like an idiot is you....will you please shut up!'

I smiled at the lady and walked off.

Iwantakitchen · 08/10/2015 17:15

I just say No I'm just a bit fat around the middle. No need to be offended, I am a bit fat around the middle.

SaucyJack · 08/10/2015 17:16

It happened to me a little while ago. I just smiled politely and explained it was still my baby weight from the (smallish) baby I had with me Jesus fucking H Christ are you thick or just blind you stupid bat?!

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 08/10/2015 17:20

my response "no i am with chocolate"

BarbarianMum · 08/10/2015 17:24

I just laugh and say "Fraid not, I'm just fat" at which point they are generally far more embarrassed than me unless they are elderly Spanish women in which case they fall about laughing

MotherOfFlagons · 08/10/2015 17:32

Death stare and just the word 'no' the last time it happened to me.

It's horribly rude to ask that unless you are 100% certain the person is pregnant.

Helloitsme15 · 08/10/2015 17:36

When it happened to me I replied - 'sadly no, I'm just fat'. When it happen to my cousin she said - 'no, I just like wearing comfortable shoes. It is the shoes you noticed, isn't it?'

mrstweefromtweesville · 08/10/2015 17:42

"No, just fat." And look them straight in the eye, no smile.

Pennybun4 · 08/10/2015 17:45

Deaath stare when i am out and about. Yes i am if offered a seat on the bus and want it.

lorelei9 · 08/10/2015 17:47

OP - I'm sorry to hear someone said that to you. If it's any consolation, I hear about stuff like this so often I'm surprised it hasn't happened to me - I've gained a lot of weight (which I am now losing).

but Till, this happened to you at size 10? Are sure the guy wasn't just being a wanker? Some people are really really odd.

If someone does say it to me, I'll go with "no, just fat" but I know I would be very upset.

GreyBird84 · 08/10/2015 17:53

I get this all the time.

Depending on mood i either tell them to fuck off (one memorable nye I had drank my body weight in wine, I was more offended they thought I would be so drunk & pregnant!)

Or else I smile & say I'm not pregnant, it's a food baby to which they usually apologise & say they thought I was pregnant. Depending on the tone I might finish the conversation with 'no shit sherlock'!

It's not pleasant OP but most people do not mean any ill.

Original poster
patientzero · 08/10/2015 17:54

I did say "No, just fat" but I'm not fat. I'm a size 12 FFS.

Sorry that it's happened to others here too but you've all made me feel better at least so thank you.

OP posts:
TeamBacon · 08/10/2015 17:59

Last time this happened to me was when I returned to work after I'd had a miscarriage. :(

I told her that no, unfortunately I'd just miscarried. She scuttled off looking mortified.

Jeffreythegiraffe · 08/10/2015 18:05

This has happened to me three times recently. I have two small dc and am well aware my stomach is flabby but I'm a size 10-12 ffs!

I don't know what to say, it's mortifying. Sad

Vastra · 08/10/2015 18:10

Friend's three year old pointing at my middle: "that's a baby!"
Me: "That's not a baby, it's just my tummy"
Friend's three year old sounding puzzled: "but it keeps getting bigger and bigger"

Wouldn't have taken it well from an adult.

CrohnicallyAspie · 08/10/2015 18:11

I'm a size 10 (well, anywhere from 8-12 depending on style and shop) and I've had it a few times, probably because my stomach is noticeably bloated due to Crohn's disease. So generally I just tell people I'm not pregnant, just have a big belly due to a bowel problem!

lorelei9 · 08/10/2015 18:16

OP - oh I see! I would only say "it's fat" because I am at the moment, but if you are not....how baffling. People are weird Confused

IHaveBrilloHair · 08/10/2015 18:19

"Thankfully not, I hate kids, this is my daughter".
I have a really swollen stomach because of medication so look pregnant.

CloakAndJagger · 08/10/2015 18:20

"Fuck off" may suffice in this scenario.