'Are you expecting?' when you're not. How to respond?!

[patientzero]

So this happened to me again this week.

I'm not pregnant (I can't have kids but I'm thankfully ok with that).

I've even lost weight recently. Over a stone and 2 dress sizes.

I was a little abrupt in my response and probably made the person feel bad but how are you supposed to respond to that question?! And why are people insensitive or stupid enough to ask it?

I just can't fathom why people think it's ok to ask.

I had this from a 3yo once. I kept telling her that no, it was just my tummy, and she kept pointing and saying there's a baby in there. I was 16 at the time, so forgive myself for thinking 'just you wait - you're clearly going to grow up fat too'

I've always said "no, I'm just fat"....The person asking is always mortified...

I really don't understand what possesses people to ask this. It is unbelievably insensitive and rude.

I have occasionally wondered from afar, but I would never have the nerve to say anything or to ask.

I would just use a reply similar to those on here and watch the person squirm.

I got asked this twice in the space of ten minutes at a wedding when my second child was only 3 months old. I cried and got very drunk :-/ and then may have conceived my 3rd that very night! Binned that bloody dress though.

Remember when I said I was leaving my last job, one person turned around and said are you not just going on maternity,
me: no I am leaving,
Him: so your going to be a stay at home mum then.
Me: no I am moving jobs to
Him: so is that before or after your materunity leave.
Me: why would I need materunity leave I am not pregnant.
Kind of glad I don't work with him any more!

Unless it is very obvious I keep my comments to myself as it's a minefield. There is s girl at work who is 32 weeks gone so that's fairly safe ground lol. Recently I wore a smocky type too on the strain and a lady offered me her seat as I shouldn't stand 'in my condition' . Not wanting to embarrass her I took it (also I wanted a seat). The top is getting binned.

Twirlypoo

Just say: Are you always so rude or are you just practicing on me?! Or 12th December 2014 and watch their tiny little mind work out what that means stupid twats
Well done on your weight loss, don't let anyone bring you down

An old lady on a bus once assumed I was pregnant, didn't even ask! I sat next to her after standing up for a few stops and she said "that's right, you don't want to fall over in your condition!" I hoped I'd misheard and tried to ignore her but then she asked if it would be a Christmas baby! Christmas was coming up at the time, so apparently I didn't just look pregnant but nearly full term! I was wearing a swing style coat that flared out around my middle, which I've since realised was unflattering but I didn't look that big! I was a size 10 at the time! Definitely don't react the way I did, I was too mortified to set her straight and didn't want to upset her so I went along with it and spent an excruciatingly awkward journey discussing due dates, ultrasounds and baby names! I was upset at the time but had a good laugh about it with friends later. It has definitely taught me not to comment on a woman's "condition" unless she has mentioned it first or I can see the baby crowning!

I've had this twice, I was also a size 10 at the time. On one of the occasions I was working (pub singer) and the bar owner asked if I was pregnant. I was embarrassed and just said no, he took my embarrassment as an admission and spent the rest of the night telling customers I was expecting and periodically rubbing my belly.

I was mortified and binned my obviously unflattering top when I got home. I fell pregnant about a month later and he was convinced he'd been right all along!

My weight goes straight to the hips and thighs, so if I have tummy fat, I'm probably fat everywhere else too.

I have made the faux pas of asking a woman if she was pregnant and she wasn't. She was upset by it, and that was the last time I asked. Ever.

I get asked all the time too. I put my weight on around the middle also. I was asked just yesterday when at the gym.

My favorite one was when I was out with then-3 year old DS. Someone asked me when I was due and I said; 'Three years ago'.

Left them looking baffled.

I'm staggered at how rude some people can be.

However, on the other side of the coin, I read a lot of posts on here from expectant mothers who complain that people don't give up their seats on public transport. Perhaps the seated passengers don't wish to offend them by assuming they are pergnant when they are not.

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I said "no, but it seems I need to go on a diet!" And got an apology.

A friend nearly asked me recently. When I told her I couldn't go to her DS's party and why (operation to remove a 10cm ovarian cyst) she said "oh, that's why you look pregnant!"

I would never ask anyone. Ever. Another friend was asked when her baby was due whilst shopping for a dress. It was her first day out a week after she had given birth and 4 days after her baby had died

I just say 'I am expecting a large shit/fart' and leaveit at that.

A woman asked me this as I lead her out after her job interview.

You could see the terror on her face when it sank in that she'd fucked it!

A client recently congratulated me exuberantly and asked my due date. I went with "no, just fat, we are hoping to have a baby soon though" . She was seriously mortified for the rest of what felt like the longest meeting of my life. I wish I had derived some satisfaction from it but given that I was about to embark on IVF and had miscarried 3 months earlier I just wanted to cry. And bin my skirt.