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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think your child can do no wrong

16 replies

Daffy10 · 08/10/2015 14:19

More "friend" issues.

I ahve a friend that no matter what her daughter does she never and I mean ever gives out to her.

I know her a couple of years and our daughters played together. Now I have seen quite a few mothers get on the wrong side of her due to her daughter arguing with children. The mothers confront my friend and its always "no not my child". The child is 9 but is very manipultive. My daugher would be very strong willed and they would have a few disagreements. Kids stuff nothing major.

Her daughter has fallen out with children on her road, children in her dancing & also children in her karate. My friend has told her not to play with them if they are nasty. Nasty is her eyes is not agreeing with everything she says or does.

Anyway I think my child has become a friend she is no longer allowed to play with. Despite my numerous texts asking does her daughter want to come around I am getting texts back always declining.

I get the message but I feel abit upset for my daughter as this girl was the only child living in our area that she plays with.

I can't understand how someone can blank me as a friend and also blank my daughter because she didn't agree and bow down to everything her friend wanted to do.

Should I reach out again or just leave it?

OP posts:

SquinkiesRule · 08/10/2015 14:23

Steer clear, your child will just get hurt.

dustarr73 · 08/10/2015 14:41

I would look on it as a lucky escape.

abbieanders · 08/10/2015 14:44

My niece's dad is the exact same with her. I won't send my daughter to the same school even, in case the reputation niece is no doubt developing due to her bad behaviour attaches to my child by association.

Avoid, avoid, avoid if and when you can.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/10/2015 14:50

We have one of these at DD's school the moment. Poor child is growing up not knowing how to behave.

Gottagetmoving · 08/10/2015 15:14

Why are mothers 'getting involved' when their child is arguing with another child? If mothers would leave petty arguments to be resolved by the kids themselves there would not be so many problems.
So long as there is no violence or actual bullying, the kids can sort out their own arguments surely.
They fall out and then are friends again,..that is the way it goes.
How can a child learn to deal with conflict if Mum is there to 'confront' another child's mum over daft kids squabbles?

laffymeal · 08/10/2015 15:19

Let it go, you've both had a lucky escape.

madmotherof2 · 08/10/2015 15:21

I have a friend who's like this, her son is a real monkey but in her eyes he can do no wrong, and if he does do wrong its always because of someone else. She believes everything he says ( even though most of it is totally unbelievable!), it's got to the point that I now avoid trying to spend too much time trying to get our children together. My DS isn't keen on him ( combination over the way he treats him and also he's not in his friendship group) but it'll always be DS's fault.

As much as possible children need to be left to sort out their own differences

NewLife4Me · 08/10/2015 15:37

You have to pity the child in this situation the parent isn't teaching discipline or socialisation. Poor child will grow up to be anti social.

NumbBlaseCold · 08/10/2015 16:23

Why would you want to maintain a friendship with someone who does her child no favors like this and does everything to ensure she will be disliked and have no friends?

Why would you want your daughter to still be friends with someone that you say is manipulative and not nice?

Let them sort it out if they wish and focus on your own relationship with the mum which sounds like it's very not worth maintaining.

kissmethere · 08/10/2015 16:31

Let it go, it's upsetting as your dd plays with her but seems she will be better off in the long run. Her mum is making a rod for her own back as they say. See if there are any other children for your dd to play with and invite over it's not worth it the girl won't change overnight.

madmotherof2 · 08/10/2015 18:22

Exactly NewLife

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/10/2015 18:36

Oh I can't stand all that. Not my so and so shit. I'm not blinkered about mine. Not in the least. She can be a right whitch when she wants to be. She's got her faults she's human. Ffs.
This is mother is in for a hard time, when she's trying to lay down the law when she is going through the teenage years. So as she has an allergy to disciplining her child, well she'll (the mother) will just have to learn the hard way, when her "perfect faultless" child is out of control.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/10/2015 18:39

I wonder where it comes from. Someone I know who can be a bit like this had an angry, controlling bastard father. So, I can see why she has gone entirely the other way.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 08/10/2015 18:45

Yes, let it go. I'm sure your DD will have other friends who will treat her better.

Your friend is doing her DD no favours at all. One day she will have to go out in to the real world & receive a huge shock when she finds she can't just boss everyone about!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/10/2015 18:54

I tell you what. I feel sorry for her teacher as well. I can just imagine the snarling and hissing she gets off this mother if she says she-s done something wrong.
Teachers deserve a medal some more of the shit they have to endure. I'd give them £1,000 per week.

StarOnTheTree · 08/10/2015 21:36

I had a friend like that. If the other kids didn't do what her DS wanted them to do she told him that the kids were bullying him. In the end he didn't know the difference between playing and bullying. I remember once when he came running in all happy and flushed from running around with some new friends and a big grin on his face saying "they're bullying me"

And yes that mum was always at school complaining!

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