Accidentally said someone wife and daughter didn't look like models

[eedon]

I fully accept I might of been very rude, judging this in words when it was just a flipant remark that I said without thinking.

Just at work, I needed to get some more paper. Accidentally knocked over someones family photo. It was clearly one of those white background studio photos that aren't my cup of tea but anyway I picked it back up and said "they almost look like the people that come free with the frame". He gave me funny look and said nothing, so I just replied " if only they were a bit more model-ly I'd be fooled". He gave an even stranger look and just said thanks.

Should I apologise to him? He must know I was just being friendly? Was this offensive?

I fully accept I might of been very rude
Should I apologise to him?
Was this offensive?

OP is not saying "lol" about it at all.

See, your 'speaking without thinking' reveals exactly what you are really like.

To me you sound snotty about the photo in the first place - tad sneery about it not being your cup of tea. I can't really imagine why you'd comment at all, apart from an "oops, sorry" or "nice kids".
Usually the more I try and backtrack on an initial jarring comment the worst I make it but if I'm being honest with myself I'm probably being a bit off to begin with.

although people who have family photos on display at work are complete saddos imo - I mean fgs, will you really forget what your kids look like in a day?

Nope. But they are considerably more attractive than all the people with whom I work. Which is terribly motivating.

OP - you put your foot in your mouth. Don't worry about it; we all do it. Don't overcompensate, don't brood, just move on (and use the anecdote for self-deprecating humour when you've got over your embarrassment). Anyone who would 'hold a grudge' over something like this clearly has isshoos.

I sympathise, I sometimes do "mouth before brain", too, especially when I don't know somebody well. Try saying the word "lovely" a lot in those situations, it takes the sting out of things when they come out wrong.

I picked it back up and said "they almost look like the people that come free with the frame"

They almost look like those lovely people that come free with the frame. Still sounds clumsy but no longer rude and clumsy.

More drama OP? Does ever a day pass without it in your world?

Only a matter of time now before another of your radical food threads I suppose?

I feel for you too - I often say ridiculous things not meaning them at all. I've recently had my hair toned down to near my natural colour, and a lovely woman I know (who has bright red hair and it really suits her) complimented it and I said 'oh yeah, I think natural is much better'. What a dick!

Thing is they are things I've heard other people say and just come out as almost rehearsed bullshit responses . Similar to at every single children's party I mention going home for a glass of wine after this

Sometimes I hate myself.

Don't worry OP, you obviously realise you said something stupid rather than saying it deliberately, best case scenario is they think you're a bit odd.

mountainstoat I nearly choked on my breakfast laughing at yours!

Should have rtft, what's with all the vitriol?

See that's the difference between AIBU vipers and the OP - she didn't mean to upset anyone.

Mountain that's hilarious.

Op of course it wasn't very nice ....but I'm sure he'll get over it.

I've come out with so many foot in it corkers over the years. I inwardly cringe.

Yes mountain yours made me rofl but also gave me a chill down my back as exactly the kind of thing I'd say and TOTALLY not think of the offensive meaning. Shudder!

There wasn't a need to say anything.

However, I can imagine what type of photo it was, those types of family portraits can god-awful and cringy. Still wouldn't have said anything, it did just sound like a passive aggressive snark at this family (second comment more than the first).

I don't think the guy would have taken from it that he's a saddo with stock photos on his desk of complete strangers.

I would have taken it as "oh that photo is so professional and your family so attractive that it could have been used to sell the frame" - "oh no wait, your family aren't that attractive/perfect!"

So while the second part was definitely weird and offensive, the first wasn't. I would just say nothing more about it and try not to make it worse!

The thing is that although you say you meant it as a compliment, what you were thinking, and what you think about those photos, is not complimentary at all. And I'm sure it showed.

At least when I said congratulations to someone whose husband had died a week before, I knew immediately I had fucked up big time and there were no awkward even worse comments after that.

I one saw a photo of a friend and it didn't look like her at all. I blurted "Is that you??? You are so not that fat!"

Well she wasn't, but that really wasn't how I meant it to sound. At all. I meant "You are a lot slimmer than this unflattering pic makes you look." The worst thing is I knew she worried about her weight and would hate the pic, and I was trying to be reassuring. Yet I basically said "Yup you're fat. Just not quite that fat."

OMG.

people who have family photos on display at work are complete saddos imo - I mean fgs, will you really forget what your kids look like in a day?
^^This

I don't have any family photos on display at work and never have, but I think it's even sadder how judgemental people are of those who have. FGS

Maybe they need those photos to be able to handle the work environment with such colleagues.

Depends on the job for me. If the job is fabulous, I don't tend to have pictures if it is hell I have pictures to remind me who I'm doing this shit for, it's a great comfort.

Oh my I'm glad I shared this, others comments have made me feel not so bad. Especially the dog one! That's hilarious!

I did as others think in my head, its a well shot, and nice picture and thought it was used to sell the frame.

I think I'll just say the one word from now on when I'm nervous and not fill silences.

not fill silences - that's just it, thank you OP, I have suddenly understood why I say daft things when slightly nervous.

I don't think it matters. Beauty is in the eye if the beholder

Thanks mermaid, I'm just going to leave it now. I hope he doesn't hold a grudge forever, hopefully tonight he will tell someone and they will explain how others have interpreted it here.

Op in future remember a smile is worth a thousand words. It will avoid a lot of trouble!!!