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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be so furious I can't even speak?

85 replies

PizzaLegs23 · 06/10/2015 20:49

I spent three weeks searching for a nursery furniture Set I wanted for our baby, due v soon. I managed to source it and get the people to offer me a good price. All my dh needed to do was go pick it up and pay with money I'd set aside. Told me he would do it Monday, he didn't. Said he would go today and didn't. I can't lift it as I'm heavily pregnant. It will obviously be sold and as its discontinued we won't why it anywhere else. I'm so angry I can't even speak to him and he keeps asking what's wrong with me. I feel I'm the only one pull weight in things like this, although he's great in other ways. AIBU?

OP posts:

Boredofthinkingofnewnames · 06/10/2015 20:49

Is it sold or isn't it?

TSSDNCOP · 06/10/2015 20:50

Why wouldn't he collect it, and have you asked the vendor if they'll hold it if you pay a deposit?

PeopleLieActionsDont · 06/10/2015 20:50

No yanbu. If he's asking what's wrong, why aren't you giving him the verbal arse kicking he deserves.

Only1scoop · 06/10/2015 20:51

Well....have you told him 'what's wrong'?

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/10/2015 20:52

Is this typical ? going out of his way to not do something if you have asked him too or if you have your heart set on it?

Ohbehave1 · 06/10/2015 20:53

Is there a good reason he didn't go? Have you asked?

Starkswillriseagain · 06/10/2015 20:55

I get that you are pissed OP but you need to tell him. He should know and not be such an idiot, however he obviously doesn't get it and the silent treatment isn't productive or fair at all.

You feel he isn't pulling his weight, just in this or in the pregnancy overall?

Original poster

PizzaLegs23 · 06/10/2015 20:56

He said he want in that area today to call in and get it. It isn't sold. He was going to get it and pay for it, but hasn't. I thought I might be like a nag if I said anything but I see you mostly agree with me

OP posts:

PaulAnkaTheDog · 06/10/2015 20:56

I can understand that if there wasn't a decent reason that you could be miffed. So furious you can't even speak seems a bit extreme though. It's furniture that will only be used for a couple years. You could go to Ikea tomorrow and be sorted, it's not like you will go without. Do you even know if they have sold it to someone else?

Original poster

PizzaLegs23 · 06/10/2015 20:57

He does pull his weight bit I'm a bit of a control freak so like to take charge. This is one thing I can't do of course because of what it involves

OP posts:

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/10/2015 20:57

do you drive? could you pick it up get the store staff to load it and a neighbour to help unload?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 06/10/2015 20:57

So it's not sold? He can pick it up tomorrow then? Yabu.

PeopleLieActionsDont · 06/10/2015 20:59

I hate the word nag to describe women expecting men to do their fair share. You wouldn't have to repeat yourself if he pulled his weight in the first place!

Besides, he is not worrying about how you feel, why worry about him thinking you nag?

gallicgirl · 06/10/2015 20:59

You know what? You have to point out the obvious to men sometimes.
Just tell him you really like, can't get it elsewhere and if he doesn't go tomorrow then it will be sold to someone else and you'll be annoyed.

herecomesthsun · 06/10/2015 20:59

get a man with a van? suggest DH pays?

AliceScarlett · 06/10/2015 21:00

Yabu, give him a break. Yes he is being annoying, but in the grand scheme of things, how important is it?

Original poster

PizzaLegs23 · 06/10/2015 21:00

He has a van! Said he wasn't in the area where the shop is today

OP posts:

PeopleLieActionsDont · 06/10/2015 21:00

Don't rope in a neighbour to help just because your lazy arse h cba. Not the neighbours responsibility to lug furniture because your h cant be bothered!

cashewnutty · 06/10/2015 21:00

Is the furniture from a shop or a private sale? How will it "obviously be sold". Can't you call the sellers and put down a deposit?

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 06/10/2015 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cashewnutty · 06/10/2015 21:01

If he wasn't in the area then how could he pick it up?

WorraLiberty · 06/10/2015 21:03

Do they not deliver?

Original poster

PizzaLegs23 · 06/10/2015 21:03

He needs to stop saying he will do it when he isn't. If I say I'm going to do something then I will, no maybes or ifs. I told the lovely people in the shop three times he would be in and he hasn't gone. He doesn't see it as important like I do

OP posts:

Sandsnake · 06/10/2015 21:03

How frustrating.

I think that context is important - was he aware that the furniture might be sold to another customer if he delayed picking it up? If not then he may not have realised the importance of doing it when he said he would (which is possibly why he is bemused at your anger now). If he did know this and still didn't go then he acted really selfishly and YANBU.

I think it also depends on his attitude towards the pregnancy in general. If this is a one off and he is usually supportive then I would take a deep breath, explain why you're cross but then try to forget it. Mistakes happen. However, if it's part of a recurring theme where you feel that he's disinterested or that you're doing everything it might be time for a serious chat.

frumpet · 06/10/2015 21:03

Not sure if you are being unreasonable , but 2 weeks away from my due date , a friend and I loaded two wardrobes , a chest of drawers , two bedside cabinets , a king size bed and a mattress onto a trailer and off again . I moved house on my own at 5 months , got some help with the fridge freezer and settee .

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