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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be so furious I can't even speak?

85 replies

PizzaLegs23 · 06/10/2015 20:49

I spent three weeks searching for a nursery furniture Set I wanted for our baby, due v soon. I managed to source it and get the people to offer me a good price. All my dh needed to do was go pick it up and pay with money I'd set aside. Told me he would do it Monday, he didn't. Said he would go today and didn't. I can't lift it as I'm heavily pregnant. It will obviously be sold and as its discontinued we won't why it anywhere else. I'm so angry I can't even speak to him and he keeps asking what's wrong with me. I feel I'm the only one pull weight in things like this, although he's great in other ways. AIBU?

OP posts:

CrumbledFeta · 06/10/2015 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TSSDNCOP · 06/10/2015 21:04

To be fair, it sounds plausible that the only reason he hasn't collected it is because his work required him to be elsewhere.

The furniture hasn't been sold. All is not lost. Phone in the morning and put a deposit down and give yourself and Dh some wiggle room on the collection.

Shutthatdoor · 06/10/2015 21:05

He has said he wasn't in the area. If that is the case ad he couldn't get there on time the that is his reason.

Saying you are so angry you can't speak is an extreme over reaction tbh.

I'm a bit of a control freak so like to take charge

^ this stuck out to me.

LadyLonely1 · 06/10/2015 21:06

Well if he wasn't in the area what did you expect him to do? Was he busy working?

TSSDNCOP · 06/10/2015 21:08

Of course, he may actually hate the furniture and is secretly hoping it'll be sold

SouthAmericanCuisine · 06/10/2015 21:08

All my dh needed to do was go pick it up and pay with money I'd set aside

He does pull his weight bit I'm a bit of a control freak so like to take charge.

So did you discuss it, agree and he acknowledge that it was time critical as it had been discontinued, or did you ask him to do this for you because it's what you wanted, or did you just tell him what he should do?

Original poster

PizzaLegs23 · 06/10/2015 21:09

I would drive over myself tomorrow and pay a deposit only I've to go and organise our remortgage on my lunch hour, I've been on top of it since June and had all MY paperwork ready, dh was so laid back that we missed renewal date and won't get a new deal for two months. This is what I'm up against

OP posts:

Marshy · 06/10/2015 21:09

Well if wasn't in the area then he wasn't! Hes at work - shit happens. Ring them, put a deposit so they can't sell it and arrange another day. Or better still get dh to ring them and negotiate when he can pick it up.

I know you are very pregnant but you do sound a little bit whingey. Just tell him to sort it!

PedantPending · 06/10/2015 21:09

Why can't you ring the shop, reserve or buy the furniture and have it delivered?

Funinthesun15 · 06/10/2015 21:10

If I say I'm going to do something then I will, no maybes or ifs

Sometimes things happen that mean you can't though. Life isn't black and white.

You have said yourself that you are a control freak.

Being 'so angry that you can't speak' is a really disproportionate reaction to this situation.

gobbin · 06/10/2015 21:10

Get a taxi over there first thing and put a deposit down. Sit back and relax and DH can collect it at his leisure.

PeopleLieActionsDont · 06/10/2015 21:12

I think he shouldn't have said he'd do it if he wasn't going to. Sounds like OP is running herself ragged and he's not putting himself out at all to do the things which are important to her

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/10/2015 21:13

It's starting to sound like he's making excuses after that second update.

when you are recovering from birth yku need him.to step up. no good saying he will get nappies/milk and then forgetting or saying he wasn't near a shop....

Nottodaythankyouorever · 06/10/2015 21:14

You are coming accross as quite 'bossy' imo.

Your title is a complete over reaction.

If he can't do it through work commitments then he can't.

It does seem that you 'tell' him to do things rather than 'ask'

Marshy · 06/10/2015 21:14

So you're saying he's generally a bit useless with this kind of stuff then?

You need to hand him some responsibility and let him get on with it. The baby will be fine without special furniture.

Shutthatdoor · 06/10/2015 21:16

If I say I'm going to do something then I will, no maybes or ifs

Life seriously isn't that black or white.

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/10/2015 21:16

perhaps she wouldn't be "bossy" if she could actually rely on him???

SouthAmericanCuisine · 06/10/2015 21:16

dh was so laid back that we missed renewal date and won't get a new deal for two months. This is what I'm up against

Have you always been so incompatible? It's unlikely you'll change his personality, no matter how much you complain.

It's a Pity you're having a baby together - no matter what happens between you as a couple, his laid back attitude will always annoy you if he parents your DC in the same way.

Bubblesinthesummer · 06/10/2015 21:17

You need to hand him some responsibility and let him get on with it.

I agree.

You have admitted as previously said that you are a control freak and like being in charge.

Well you can't always be.

Original poster

PizzaLegs23 · 06/10/2015 21:19

We already have a child and he's an amazing father. I wouldn't say we are incompatible, that's more extreme than my reaction to this issue. I'm merely asking AIBU on this one thing? The furniture isn't special but is a match to what we have and as the kids will share a room Id like the furniture to match. See? Control freak.

OP posts:

PeopleLieActionsDont · 06/10/2015 21:21

She probably wouldnt be a control freak if he actually got off his arse and did stuff!

PeopleLieActionsDont · 06/10/2015 21:21

There is also nothing control freaky about wanting the furniture to match.

Funinthesun15 · 06/10/2015 21:23

She probably wouldnt be a control freak if he actually got off his arse and did stuff

He's been at work on a different area, hardly 'sitting on is arse'

TheCatsMother99 · 06/10/2015 21:23

Why don't you call the shop & pay over the phone? Then get OH to pick it up when he actually is next in the area? The shop can the. Hold on to it for a few more days.

SouthAmericanCuisine · 06/10/2015 21:25

I wouldn't say we are incompatible, that's more extreme than my reaction to this issue

It's not just this issue though, is it? You consider yourself "up against" it - his laid back attitude means things you want to happen don't get done on your timescale. Nursery furniture, mortgage paperwork.

You sound pretty incompatible to me, and if you're so furious that you can't speak over an issue that has very minor consequences, hiowstressed do you get when his casual approach to life has more significant consequences?

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