to do a joint birthday present for twins

[PogoBob]

DD has been invited to the birthday party of twin boys from her class. The boys aren't part of her immediate circle of friends (so I don't really know them mum) but she likes them so wants to attend the party.

Money is tight at the moment plus we've 5 parties we need to buy for across the DCs this month. Would it be unreasonable to buy a joint present? I could ensure it was something large enough to be shared between them without either being short changed, but wonder if this would be unfair. Buying two smaller presents would actually work out more expensive.

As you can probably tell I have no experience of twins so don't know what is fair!!

Definitely separate presents. It's not the same as buying your own children a joint present.
Already been loads of suggestions for cheap gifts and agree that home bargains +/- some sweets present can be done for couple of quid each.

As a mum of twins I would suggest two separate presents only as they are two individuals. Cheap and cheerful all the way, I'm sure they'll be gratefully received.

2 cheap presents. Whatever your normal budget is for gifts just spilt it.

A game they can play together, a dvd they can watch together? I don't have twins but DCs with birthdays very close together so lots of joint parties over the years. I was always delighted with a joint gift (especially something along the lines I've outlined) - in fact I used to ask for no gift (never achieved it) - you end up with piles of stuff because everyone feels obliged to buy something and what you really want is for them to have a great afternoon with their friends. Not meaning to sound ungrateful, but there is just too much stuff these days. Also my DCs (boy and girl) never felt short changed by something joint as long as it was something they could both enjoy (though I have tried to spend their life drumming it into them that life is not about the accumulation of stuff - we do still have quite a lot though).

As many others have said, separate presents even if they are small and/or cheap.

My twins hated getting shared presents and cards. We always displayed cards on opposite sides of the room so the joint card or two never had a home.

Mine would always take separate presents to a child's party though - if they were going to another set of twins' party this meant four presents!

For those of you at twins not wanting to share a present, twins encounter all sorts of daily issues being counted as a unit 'the twins' rather than as individuals so this is bound up with that.

Twins are actually usually great at sharing because they've always had to do it.

OP if you need to but a joint present make it a board game, or something that requires two players.

Unless it's been explicitly stated to get a joint present, or one present, then I'd definitely get two presents. They're separate people.

I guess a board game may work as a joint present but not very cheap. Go on the book people website and find packs if books then use them as gifts throughout the year.
People get so stressed about twins being individuals - I have twins and yes they are individuals, having a joint present doesn't change that! I would hate someone to be worrying about this re my twins I'd just want your dc to come to the party. On the flip side I bought a df of dtds one present then found myself explaining that it was one present but double the price as it was from the two of them. Honestly it's so easy to get worried about but don't - twin parents are a pretty chilled out breed ime.

Shared cards is a nono though.

Why not two colouring books and a shared box of pencils? That'd set you back less than a fiver.

I had this exact dilemma today. I said to myself "what would mumsnet say?"

I bought separates.

all bases covered above

Mum of twins here and unless it is a larger joint present from family to be shared (such as a slide etc) then I dislike it when people only buy one present (if they buy one, we don't expect them).
They already have to share their special day, I see no reason to make them share presents too. My BIL still sends them one fucking card between them!!! And my MIL did it this year too.
I would prefer they had a £1 sticker book and a lolly each than a board game they are going to fight over.

On the same note I always buy two presents if they are going to a friends party, one from each of them.

I do think it's nice that you have asked though. Twin shit is hard

If you already had something in mind which specifically required two players I wouldn't see an issue. But just for cost reasons I would go with two separate cheaper ones, because you don't know if this might be an 'issue' for them or not.

Mums of twins are individuals, too - there's never going to be one 'right' answer...

The boys' friends have historically tended to turn up with a small gift for each of them. I bear this in mind when they are invited to other people's birthdays, and always send them with a small gift from each of them for the birthday child, too.

But we'd be fine with a joint gift, or no gift also. And we would definitely be more than happy with as few tree wasters cards as possible.

Joint party and joint present is fine.

Any host who thinks otherwise is being a bit unreasonably grabby. They'll get 28 presents or whatever if it's a whole class party. It's not like you're going empty handed.

And 2 DCs close in age or close in birthday are nothing like twins. Ok they might share a party or a large family Christmas present once in a while but twins have the "joint" thing day in day out. And as PP said, they are usually great at sharing, and very grateful for presents whether joint or separate but if it's a choice between a joint present or separate presents, 43 years of experience says separate every time !

I think if it's something that needs two players, then it's a lovely idea. It may be something they can do together even if they do have different interests.
Agree with bing - in our family, siblings of different ages often get joint gifts if it's something they can do together.

I have twins. My children are happy with joint presents!

Two children, two presents. No need to be expensive.

I still remember the confusion on my DT's face when they received x1 small packet to share on their birthday labelled 'The twins' as if they were one entity.

As one poster said above. They have to share their birthday, why should they share their presents too.

BTW I don't think it is about being grabby but about not being treated as individuals.

My DT's were told to share something at school when all the other kids didn't because 'you are twins'.

Being seen as an individual is really important to them.

A card game like uno they can share. Or two small things. But definitely separate cards.

My dts get both and they don't mind sharing as long as it is something for 2. Often that causes less issue than bith getting something only one likes or getting 2 diffrrent things and both thinking 1 thing is better.

Their dgm used to buy natching clothes even though i told her i don't dress them the same. They used to just decide between them who was getting both sets of whatever clothes it was depending on the colour.

I buy 2 presents when they go to parties. Or one larger present. But I always put them in same bag, so that probably confuses things

Going against the grain here but my friend has twins. They're treated as individuals but she is delighted with a joint present like a DVD or game or something(as are the girls). You should see the amount of craft stuff they get at birthday time with most people buying them a present each. There is enough to open a small shop.

Well none of these parents so keen for their children to be treated as individuals are throwing individual parties are they?

Obviously at school and generally they should absolutely be treated as individuals, but when actively doing something joint (such as hosting a party) a joint gift is fine. Or have two parties but don't complain guests didn't treat your twins as individuals when you didn't.

What do you suggest, two separate parties on the same day?