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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inlaws are decorating for me - but nothing good enough!

72 replies

babyiwantabump · 06/10/2015 11:49

Now I probably am BU as am pregnant and hormonal but -

In laws are currently painting our bedroom for us as I have a toddler and OH at work . Very grateful - they are doing a fab job but it's just little things that are driving me batty!

For example - I bought paint trays - not good enough . They wanted a bowl or jug so they actually took my good Pyrex jug and used that to decant paint into - now it's ruined !

I bought a paint stirrer - not good enough they have used a serving spoon out of the cutlery drawer.

I bought satin wood gloss - they bought there own shiny horrible gloss as they prefer that - I don't! They also used this on the radiator when I had bought radiator paint as the radiator paint wasn't shiny high gloss!!

Just Grrrrrr! I am very grateful but it's just like WTF!!

(Dons hard hat! Prepares to be told IABU!)

OP posts:
squoosh · 06/10/2015 11:52

Ugh.

This is the kind of 'help' I'd happily do without.

Unreasonablebetty · 06/10/2015 11:52

Sadly that is the joy of getting someone to do something for you, they then do it their own way.
Though I agree with shiny gloss! Eck!

SpringTown46 · 06/10/2015 11:57

Don't accept their help again, they aren't respecting the social boundaries and are treating you as children rather than adults with your own ideas. Help given with such an attitude isn't selfless, and has it's own agenda.

Just let them finish, thank them nicely, replace your jug... And then repaint over the woodwork and radiator with the paint you chose. It won't take long. If they comment, just say it wasn't what you wanted.

Original poster
babyiwantabump · 06/10/2015 11:58

They are painting the walls today - dread to think what I will end up with!

OP posts:
squoosh · 06/10/2015 12:00

'Oh we didn't like the paint you picked out so we decided to surprise you with one orange feature wall, one purple, one yellow and one green'.

SpringTown46 · 06/10/2015 12:02

Have you provided the paint? If they use something else then express your disappointment and DH will have to paint over it. Why isn't he already dealing with them?

Original poster
babyiwantabump · 06/10/2015 12:06

Yes I have provided the paint - I also provided the satinwood gloss , radiator paint, paintbrushes rollers etc etc- of which they have used none!

Haha squooshI'm hoping for white walls but anything could be happening right now!

Oh and he is at work - so safely out of the situation!

OP posts:
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 06/10/2015 12:09

Don't forget to make bangers and mash for their tea. To say thanks for helping out. With gravy. Made in your Pyrex jug. Served with your spoon.

StayWithMe · 06/10/2015 12:09

You do realise you'll probably be presented with a bill for the paint when they've finished?

diddl · 06/10/2015 12:13

I suppose that you can replace the pyrex jug & spoon, but why didn't they use the gloss that you bought?

Why didn't you say something or tell them to leave it?

It doesn't matter what they prefer & if they don't want to use the paint that you have bought then they shpuld just leave it for you to do.

Original poster
babyiwantabump · 06/10/2015 12:15

They also keep putting their coffee mugs on my dressing table - without a coaster Shock

Disclaimer - I have provided them with 2 coasters - they have ignored them!

OP posts:
OurBlanche · 06/10/2015 12:15

Have you told your OH?

Send him an 'amused' text and ask him to buy a new pyrex bowl and serving spoon on the way home.

Then stop looking. Just wait for them to finish and put it right once they have gone.

Or get your OH to have a quiet word about it not being their home and they really should either do what the two of you have asked for or not do it at all, as he will only have to do it again anyway - if he is to have what he wants in his own home.

Gileswithachainsaw · 06/10/2015 12:16

That's not help. that's a passive agressive message to you.

and yy to "the bill"

Original poster
babyiwantabump · 06/10/2015 12:17

They didn't tell me till after they had done it that they used the shiny gloss and the jug and the spoon - they just did it - without asking and kind of presented me with this gloss filled Pyrex jug on the way out yesterday - I was a bit too shocked to say anything especially as they are doing us a massive favour!

OP posts:
wigglybeezer · 06/10/2015 12:19

My parents are helping me at the moment, I would be faster doing it myself! They are too painstaking and I have to make drinks, hear news and provide lunch ( and Dad picks up newspapers and my mail and reads them!) so I get much less done, however it is nice to see them and they don't boss me around, although I will have to redo some of my mum's work as she kept brushing out the gloss too much, leaving marks, as modern gloss dries too fast apparently!

diddl · 06/10/2015 12:20

Well if they ask for money for the paint tell them no as it was their choice not to use what you had already bought.

Did you ask them why?

Original poster
babyiwantabump · 06/10/2015 12:22

I just kind of stood there in shock with my jug .

Like this Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
babyiwantabump · 06/10/2015 12:23

Then Angry as they drove off .

OP posts:
catfordbetty · 06/10/2015 12:24

Perhaps they didn't want to do it in the first place and this is their way of telling you?

SpringTown46 · 06/10/2015 12:26

I meant, why isn't your husband dealing with them over the issue? Not why isn't he doing it right now.

And it what way are they doing you a 'massive favour'? It is not what you wanted and will have to be re-done. Are you always so passive?

Original poster
babyiwantabump · 06/10/2015 12:27

But they offered? We didn't even ask them - I had arranged for a decorator and OH told them and they told us to cancel and they would do it instead .

Wishing u had stuck with the decorator now!

OP posts:
Original poster
babyiwantabump · 06/10/2015 12:27

I not u

OP posts:
viciousknid · 06/10/2015 12:28

so pay someone to do it the way you want it

Original poster
babyiwantabump · 06/10/2015 12:29

I just don't like to offend . Especially not in laws . And they don't actually do much for us often (see previous threads!) so it kinda felt like our turn- if you know what I mean .

OP posts:
Whippet2 · 06/10/2015 12:34

Don't let them decorate again. I've learned never to let my in-laws near anything I want doing in the house, it turns into a disaster.