Inlaws are decorating for me - but nothing good enough!

[babyiwantabump]

Now I probably am BU as am pregnant and hormonal but -

In laws are currently painting our bedroom for us as I have a toddler and OH at work . Very grateful - they are doing a fab job but it's just little things that are driving me batty!

For example - I bought paint trays - not good enough . They wanted a bowl or jug so they actually took my good Pyrex jug and used that to decant paint into - now it's ruined !

I bought a paint stirrer - not good enough they have used a serving spoon out of the cutlery drawer.

I bought satin wood gloss - they bought there own shiny horrible gloss as they prefer that - I don't! They also used this on the radiator when I had bought radiator paint as the radiator paint wasn't shiny high gloss!!

Just Grrrrrr! I am very grateful but it's just like WTF!!

(Dons hard hat! Prepares to be told IABU!)

[AndLeavesthatweregreenturnedto]

Op I can only say what did you expect.

This sort of situ is simply fraught with every kind of over stepping boundary you can think of.

How many in lsaw think they can do far better job, infantilse son, mil wants to impose own taste on dil....

Nah....I think you have got off very lightly here! If this was my in laws, ALL decor and furniture would be changes!

[SlightlyAshamed1]

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut - bit condescending.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

Hardly Slightly. Just mildly joshing the op to give bit of perspective if you will. For those with a sense of humour mind

[SlightlyAshamed1]

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut - and I would see the radiator every time because every time it sticks out as something it shouldn't be.

Everyone is different. For example, the most I have ever spent on a handbag is £25 so I am glad to learn that when that falls to bits I can use a carrier and put the money towards a decorator.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

Yes. I suspect you would

[anothernumberone]

Fecking hate shiny gloss sits eying up sitting room recently painted by my own dad

[SlightlyAshamed1]

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut - now, I was just thinking that the handbag thing was condescending and thought I would mention it.

I don't really follow much feminism, but from what I've seen if you challenge someone who is trying to get the little woman to stfu one of the first things is, can't you take a joke? Haven't you got a sense of humour.

So my sense of humour is fine, but my opinion of you isn't going up.

Besides, it isn't about the paint (or handbags). It's about someone 'doing a favour' which isn't making things better for the person on the receiving end.

OP - If your DH won't allow his parents to be challenged then I think you are going to have to live with it until you can put it right, but I think you are going to have to be firm on what you accept as 'favours' aka pissing all over your territory.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

Well I'm a feminist and I'd just get over a gloss vs non-gloss radiator. And if I found the experience a bit irritating and stressful I'd take the money I'd saved and use it to either rectify or compensate the situation.

Personally I'd buy a handbag. At other times I would want to buy something else but what I wouldn't do is put up with it quietly.

I don't care what your opinion is of me Slightly but I do think you are being a bit silly with your feminism argument. I also find your reductive and absurdist conclusions silly.

I only came on to post a light hearted thread and now I'm back to work so you can gripe away without me.

[wonkylegs]

I don't hate gloss, it has its place but I can understand why it would be annoying if you specifically didn't want it.
I'd cover all the furniture as if they don't bother with coasters when asked I suspect may also translate to not being as bothered about small paint flecks either.
I don't have 'helpful' relatives so decorating is me or a decorator, something I've never felt grateful for before but suddenly do now.

[DickDewy]

The shiny gloss would drive me to distraction - I would have to paint over it immediately.

[Backforthis]

I can't stand shiny gloss either. It reminds me of my grandparents house and they stopped updating their decor in the mid 70s.

[eurochick]

It's massively disrespectful. And gloss paint fumes are not great for a pregnant woman (unless it is a low voc paint as mentioned). I'd be fuming.

[yomellamoHelly]

Take a view when they're done and get the bits you want re-done sorted by the decorator / dh.

[babyiwantabump]

Well - they have gone for the day . They made an exit whilst I was sorting DS.

The reason the jug and spoon are ruined is because they were filled/used with gloss paint! I wouldn't want to use them for cooking again after that!

I've had a quick look and thankfully the walls have been done with the paint provided. And no further kitchen utensils have been harmed as far as I can see!

Will just have to go over the gloss with satin wood - will the radiator have to be stripped or do you think that the radiator paint can go straight on top?

[CrapBag]

There was a thread very recently about when a favour is not a favour and someone came up with a great word for it. I cannot remember what the word was now though!

You are not being ungrateful though. I don't understand why people offer to help then don't do what you actually wanted doing! I always suspect it is a control thing and they think they know better.

[ProcrastinatorGeneral]

Radiator will have to be stripped I'm afraid, gloss is not something you want on your rads when they warm up, it stinks and will yellow and crack after a while.

[BrucieTheShark]

No reason why you can't use paint remover on spoon and jug and use again.

However it's a huge faff and does not detract at all from their crappy behaviour.

Ugh I so hate unsolicited and unhelpful 'help'. Maybe I'm an ingrate.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

I am probably considered one of the older generation and I hate gloss paint. in fact it should be consigned to one of the seven circles of hell.

[2rebecca]

Can't you just get together with your husband and discuss this and make it clear that unless they decorate exactly the way you want then you'll get someone else to do it. It's your house so you should be choosing paints etc.
It sounds as though you aren't saying "no" enough to their suggestions. They aren't doing you a massive favour if you end up reduing everything and stripping paint off they're just making work.
It's only a favour if they accept it's your house and they decorate the way you want or don't bother and let you employ decorators.

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

I don't like gloss paint.
Can't use it in our house as we keep tropical fish. The fumes would kill them. My mum helped us redecorate some rooms a couple of years ago and I had to remind her twice about gloss paint.
I'm also the only person I know who can use satin finish paint without making a hash of it. Everyone else puts it on too thick and is then too slow painting it in. At which point it peels. My dh even handed me the whole can claiming the paint was off, but I managed to paint the whole room with it!
I digress.
You're going to have to have a conversation with your oh.

[ijustwannadance]

You would need to sand all the woodwork before repainting. If you just paint over the gloss it won't stick. Assuming it's an old style radiator, you could always replace it with the money you saved on decorator. Nice new one that doesn't ever need painting.

I've always done all of the painting in my homes. Never had a problem using satin on any woodwork, radiators, doors, etc. Hate shiny paint. Only ever use matt on walls too.

[pluck]

You CAN go apeshit about the ruining of your Pyrex and serving spoon, and the fuckwit non-radiator paint! Why not?