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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu about my family and arrangements agreed for looking after dd while I give birth?

94 replies

Littleyellowboo · 04/10/2015 19:37

Just looking for straight answers please.
My mum offered to look after my toddler dd while I give birth so dh can be there with me- I had complications last time was in prior to and after birth for a few days but I'm hopeful it will be more straightforward this time.
Anyway was glad of offer as DM offered to stay at my house so dd can be in own bed etc. Agreed months ago- esp glad of offer as no support from inlaws and my friends all have young dc so would be struggling to help.
Just been told my dsis is now travelling to the other side of world for a fortnight leaving 2.5 wks before my due date- and so my DM will be looking after her dd (10 yrs old). My dn will be able to stay at parents house as Df there to stay at night but in the day DM will have to look after her.
I'm just annoyed that this was all booked and arranged without anyone thinking to tell me. DM can't see what the issue is but I feel put out actually.
Aibu?

OP posts:
Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 04/10/2015 20:06

I'm sorry OP but you are being massively unreasonable! people have been looking after more than one child at a time since time began Confused

Oysterbabe · 04/10/2015 20:06

I think yabu.
They didn't tell you immediately because it's no big deal.

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/10/2015 20:06

Sorry, but I agree yabu. Surely your DD will enjoying being with her cousin too?

OldBloodCallsToOldBlood · 04/10/2015 20:06

I don't see the problem at all. She's doing you a favour so your DH can be with you for the birth. That's still happening. You don't get to dictate the terms of a favour.

BoyScout · 04/10/2015 20:07

Well then, I think you're being a bit unreasonable. Your DD is still being looked after, will still sleep in her own bed and have a cousin to keep her company. Sounds fine to me, even if it wasn't originally what you thought it was.

Look at it the other way - is it fair to stop your sis having her big trip just so your toddler can be at your house for a couple of days instead of granny's?

Binkybix · 04/10/2015 20:08

Oh then regardless of the answer to my question, I think you're being unreasonable!

spanisharmada · 04/10/2015 20:09

YABVU

definiteissues · 04/10/2015 20:10

You are being hugely unreasonable here.

definiteissues · 04/10/2015 20:12

Also. Once the baby arrives are you expecting her to only ever look after one of your kids at a time?
Are you expecting you and your OH to split the kids up so you don't have to look after 2 at once as well?

wigglesrock · 04/10/2015 20:13

Yes, YABU. Unless I'm reading it wrong, there's a very good chance your sister will be home before you have your baby. Your mum is still looking after your dd at night in your own home, it's just the daytime arrangements that might have to change and it's a very big might.

DameMargaretOfChalfont · 04/10/2015 20:14

YABU - why on earth shouldn't your DD spend time with her cousin.

The important thing is your mum is honouring her promise to sleep at your house so DD can have her own bed.

Are you secretly more pissed off that your sister is going away so close to your due date and taking the attention off you?

emsyj · 04/10/2015 20:16

Your poor DMum is just trying to please everyone. Give her a break. Your DD will be looked after perfectly well and might enjoy having her cousin to play with in the day. Your DMum is inconveniencing herself to meet your request to sleep at your house. That should really be enough. Perhaps your anxiety about the birth is causing this rather than your DM's actions in choosing to say 'yes' to everyone rather than let anyone down?

RandomMess · 04/10/2015 20:16

I think your DD will be more distracted going out and about than at home all day wondering where you are???

So your DM should have said no to having her other DGD for 2 weeks in case it clashes with when you give birth?

pudcat · 04/10/2015 20:16

But your sister will probably be back before you have your baby. Also your niece as she is 10 will be at school during the day.

RapidlyOscillating · 04/10/2015 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spartans · 04/10/2015 20:17

Yabu, it's not even over your due date so may not be problem at all.

Why should they get your approval, it doesn't change anything.

3littlefrogs · 04/10/2015 20:17

I think it all sounds fine.

When I had Dc 3 DH asked the neighbour to sit in the house (older Dc were asleep thank goodness)while he came to the hospital, stayed for the delivery then raced back home again.

Lucky I was only in labour for 45 minutes as there was literally no-body else to ask.

AyeAmarok · 04/10/2015 20:18

Yeah, YABU. Sorry!

StackladysMorphicResonator · 04/10/2015 20:21

YABU, and bonkers (which is totally forgivable due to baby-brain!). Let it go and enjoy your new baby.

auntyclot · 04/10/2015 20:22

YABVU! I thought you meant instead of your dd but if it's as well then I can't see why it's an issue.

Pilgit · 04/10/2015 20:24

It'll probably be easier for your mum as DN will probably want to help out and play with your DC whilst she gets on with chores. Sounds like a great arrangement.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 04/10/2015 20:24

Massively unreasonable. What is it that's making you annoyed about her looking after your niece as well? I'm honestly confused as to what the issue is.

fififolle · 04/10/2015 20:24

Surely this is only a problem if you go in to labour/need to go to hospital before your due date?
I feel sorry for your mum, it sounds like she's trying to help both you and your sister. If the dates do clash, she could surely look after both grand daughters?

BackInTheRealWorld · 04/10/2015 20:27

You are being massively unreasonable. In fact your mum is being an absolute star so I hope you don't show her how ungrateful you are being.

Agrestic · 04/10/2015 20:31

Yabvu.

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