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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think you don't go on holiday whilst having a high risk pregnancy and without adequate insurance

707 replies

Defenderwife · 04/10/2015 10:57

Woman gives birth after food poisoning whilst on holiday in the Dominic Republic.

She had a cervical cerclage so knew she had a high risk pregnancy.

Her insurance didn't cover her entire pregnancy.

They are now stranded with a premature baby in a foreign country with no financial help and are relying on donations and GoFundMe.

I have made a donation but inside I feel almost angry. Why on earth have they let themselves be in this situation? That poor poor child.

OP posts:
PHANTOMnamechanger · 04/10/2015 20:32

but there are millions of actual human beings in horrendous situations around the world.

this thread is actually about one of the lucky ones who's parents/friends/family have the means to get their story out there and heard, asking for help, getting lots of sympathy etc.

what about the 1000s of children who die every single day in africa just because they don't have safe water to drink? what about the millions of people who have access to no routine medical care at all, let alone a perhaps slightly grubby premature baby unit?

I don't know why I'm posting that really, I just find it a bit sad that people seem willfully blind to all the suffering there is until it's someone more like them who's found themselves in a horrible spot.

Brummiegirl15 · 04/10/2015 20:34

I'm still on holiday as it happens - so actually issues could still happen.

My issue is this woman picked an insurance company that would only insure her until the end of week 28.

Which is insane considering how far along in her pregnancy she was. Her problems happened 11 days into a 14 day holiday - so her insurance was never going to cover her right to the end - yes it was only a day or so - but doesn't matter

I've done what I can to ensure I am ok - can't do anymore that that - and I'm the one getting a shitty comment because I took responsibility for my care and didn't just wing it?

But I certainly haven't been as "vocal" as other people on this thread.

sleepyelectricsheep · 04/10/2015 20:36

"I don't think these thoughts are exclusive to Mumsnet sleepy."

I just lost a long post. It was about Jade Google and how fucking nasty people were here about her, when they decided she must be faking a cancer scare to further her career. Turns out she wasn't making it up after all was she?

People were happy to be judge and jury without the full facts. Did they apologise publicly also after slating her? If they did I missed it ...

We also do not know the full story here

But people are happy to have a go at someone in an appalling situation anyway. Happens all the time here, see AIBU and troll hunters.

This time there's a baby's life at stake but people are still having a go on a public forum, where the mum in question coukd well read it. How do you think that could make her feel or do you not give a shiny shit?

My friends in RL do not act like this . Only place i've seen it en masse is here.

definiteissues · 04/10/2015 20:39

The joy of living in a free country is that we are allowed to make comments based on only the information available.

It is fully possible to pity the parents and the baby for the situation they are in whilst still thinking the parents are irresponsible idiots who should have made better choices

Want2bSupermum · 04/10/2015 20:40

I don't donate to those in situations that are easily prevented. This couple had the money to go to DR so they should have made sure they had proper coverage. If they were mis sold insurance that's one thing but if they took a gamble, which given their press releases looks more likely, they deserve to be paying this off or declaring bankruptcy. The parents took a gamble and it didn't pay off. If it doesn't pay off it rests on their shoulders and yes they should feel like the fools they are.

It's not about having money but about having some common sense. You know when you step foot outside of the UK you don't have medical coverage unless you take steps if travelling in Europe or buy a policy that covers the travelling party. While when I lived in the UK I didn't get insurance for travel to Europe, my family and I have the funds to cover and associated costs with taking ill in Europe. Worst case a medical flight would cost £100k or so and I'm lucky I've got access to that kind of funds. Never would I expect the public to crowd fund my stupidity.

Want2bSupermum · 04/10/2015 20:41

Oh and when travelling outside of Europe I always had insurance that covered me. It's a necessity.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 04/10/2015 20:41

Tend to agree definiteissues

Thelushinthepub · 04/10/2015 20:42

Wanttobe I don't think it was called Roosevelt actually but can't remember the name- i wasn't sent there by anyone it was just the nearest hospital. I can and did pay btw Grin so it didn't matter where I Went. It was only minor- a few hundred dollars, nothing like this.

Maryz · 04/10/2015 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spectre8 · 04/10/2015 20:44

Oh give over sleepyelectricsheep they themselves do not even know if the insurers will pay out or not fgs they should wait to see what the decision is before asking for the public to help them out of the situation that they could of avoided had they take proper cover.

In Dax's situation the parents lied about why they needed the money, saying it was for medical bills, the insurers then gave their decision and all of the sudden the money was going to be used on rent and bills, reasons that people may not have wanted to donate for.

Everything we do, the decisions we make take into account the risks and issues that could come up. You would have to live without any media to claim you did not know or were oblivious to how travel insurance works when you are pregnant. They took a risk by getting crap cover and now it has come back to bite them.

InimitableJeeves · 04/10/2015 20:47

I don't think anyone is in a position to complain about this being discussed on a public forum. As soon as the parents made a public request for money they inevitably put their person affairs out there, and it would be ridiculous to say that everyone should censor their views on the matter purely because of the difficulty of the situation they have put themselves and their baby in.

InimitableJeeves · 04/10/2015 20:48

Sorry, I meant personal affairs, not person.

Thelushinthepub · 04/10/2015 20:49

You must be able to see how awful that sounds:

"They took a risk geting crap cover and it's come back to bite them"

When coming back to bite them
Means their baby dying?!
Jesus.
Of course we don't know whether insurance will pay out. We don't know if they were misold/ misunderstood their insurance. We know that £10 from random musnetters isn't going to mean the baby lives or dies. I feel very sad and sympathetic for them
But I won't give any money because i Never donate to things like this. Neither would I crowd fund. None of that takes away this horrible situation.

multivac · 04/10/2015 20:49

I don't actually think the parents are trying to convince anyone - let alone everyone - that it's a case of 'Big Evil Company Does Terrible Things'. That's not how the Gofundme page (separate from the responses it has generated, which aren't within the couple's control) reads at all.

They are desperate, and scared. They want their daughter to be safe, and they need money. Maybe they were naive; maybe they were the victims of misselling - you know what - I don't actually know the details and I don't fancy joining the speculation-fest. Certainly they are considerably more fortunate than many, including most of the parents whose babies are in hospital with Evie right now. And as I said, I haven't donated, and am comfortable with that, for a whole range of reasons.

The smuggery on this thread, though - the eagerness of individuals to point out just how stupid/selfish/rubbish this couple is, is pretty ugly. Adding that they are probably racist, money-grabbing and not really concerned about their child in the first place is, I reckon, just unnecessary ad hominem.

Which is a shame, because surely there is a useful conversation to be had here about the limitations of insurance?

And brummiegirl, I'm afraid, according to several pps, you are a selfish cow for flying abroad whilst pregnant at all, regardless of the insurance you think you have in place.

Am also tickled by the use of the phrase 'press releases' in this context.

Spectre8 · 04/10/2015 20:56

Thelushinthepub I didn't say it meant the baby dying, don't be so stupid. If you read my post it was talking about risk so clearly coming back to bite them means their decision to take a riskier cover has come back to bite them. They took a risk in taking crap cover thinking they could save some money on the travel insurance, that nothing could go wrong and that risk unfortunately has become an issue.

Bloody hell people love to just take your post and make some real shit up without actually understanding what you are saying or taking what you say in the context you are saying it in.

Thelushinthepub · 04/10/2015 21:01

But that's their outcome. You don't get medical Insurance, you don't get medical treatment. What else would come back to bite them?

multivac · 04/10/2015 21:02

"their decision to take a riskier cover has come back to bite them"

What nature is this 'biting' taking?

Floggingmolly · 04/10/2015 21:03

How could it possibly have meant their baby dying, lush? Hmm. That's got to be the most ridiculous comment on this thread.

Thelushinthepub · 04/10/2015 21:04

What else would Be the outcome of no medical care on a 30 week old baby?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 04/10/2015 21:10

for me, the time difference thing is not relevant, because going back across the international date line will not have subtracted a day's growth from the baby. I think that the pregnancy stays the same length, even if you cross the date line

In terms of duration, the pregnancy will be the same length before and after crossing the line, won't it?

But we don't date pregnancies like that. If you are 28 weeks and 6 days pregnant on the 1st of jan then if it's the 1st of jan in the country you are in then that is how many days pregnant you are.

If your birthday is on the 1st jan you don't call it your birthday 5 hours earlier (on the previous day) just because it's the 1st of jan in a country you are not in, do you?

Spectre8 · 04/10/2015 21:10

In that the insurer is unlikely to pay out of course what else

Thelushinthepub · 04/10/2015 21:13

As long as they get the medical care though what difference does it make? The risk is the medical care being withdrawn.

Thelushinthepub · 04/10/2015 21:15

(Many posters have alledged* that withdrawing medical care is a possibility)

*not that they know

Spectre8 · 04/10/2015 21:16

Right and whose fault is that? Not the insurers. Its the parents who are accountable and responsible for taking out the right policy and they didn't.

multivac · 04/10/2015 21:16

"In that the insurer is unlikely to pay out of course what else"

...which would mean what?

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