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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed that the same children get picked for all the sports teams?

145 replies

onlywhenyouleave · 02/10/2015 18:16

I am fed up of seeing the same names over and over again on the school newsletter for every sports team - I know the school wants to be competitive and pick the best teams but it is so disheartening for all the other children (and yes, DS1 is one of those who isn't picked).

I know quite a few children who don't even bother trying out now as they don't see the point Sad

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 02/10/2015 18:19

I was one of those children, on every sports team. It doesn't help you, but I'd have been gutted to miss out too Sad

katienana · 02/10/2015 18:20

I was one of those never picked. Everyone should get a turn but sometimes you have to accept you're not good at something.

MissFitt68 · 02/10/2015 18:21

Why wouldn't they put the stronger players into the school team?? as an average child at sport I would have hated letting the school down in the name of 'having my turn'

toobreathless · 02/10/2015 18:22

I think this depends on the age of the children.

Primary Reception to Year 4- YANBU IMO

Primary 5/6, I think selection should reflect ability but also trying to encourage others and give everyone a turn.

Secondary onwards IMO should be done on ability with every opportunity taken to give every child who wants to play the opportunity so fielding multiple teams etc.

Oysterbabe · 02/10/2015 18:23

When we pick teams in the playground,
Whatever the game may be,
There's always someone left 'til last
And usually it's me
I stand there looking hopeful
And tapping myself on the chest
But the captains pick the others
Starting, of course, with the best
I wish for once they'd pick the teams starting with the worst
Then maybe, a girl like me
Could end up being first.

I learnt that poem at school when I was 8 and it resonated so much I still remember it :)

XiCi · 02/10/2015 18:23

No sorry, the best team should get picked.

Farahilda · 02/10/2015 18:27

I'd like my DC to be in top set maths.

She won't be, because the better mathematicians are picked every time.

But she's damned good at netball.

Perhaps we should strike a deal, she'll not be picked for netball if she can go into top set maths?

Differentiation should apply for all parts of the curriculum.

But if you want more fixtures for the lower teams, lobby for that. Not for removing opportunities from the pupils stronger in a particular thing.

NellysKnickers · 02/10/2015 18:27

Meh. Life in general isn't fair, never to early to learn this and as parents it's our job to cuddle, cajole and help them understand when things don't go their way.

CatMilkMan · 02/10/2015 18:28

Sorry, yabu.
Can't parents start another team that is less competitive?

Tiggeryoubastard · 02/10/2015 18:29

The school want to put forward their best teams. Stop being so silly.

highkickindandy · 02/10/2015 18:30

Depends on the age of the kids and how competitive the programs are surely?

If they're little, it's all about everyone having a turn, learning sportsmanlike behaviour, group hug, everyone's a winner etc etc etc

If they're teenagers, they know, without being told who's good and who's not and they probably care more about winning than everyone being included - life's not fair and not everyone gets to compete in the Olympics.

Regarding it always being the same kids, well kids who are good at one sport are often good at others too.........should they be penalized or made to chose just one sport?????????

I don't dismiss your concerns, my kids are quite sporty but never quite make the cut usually, or end up as reserve - I'd love for them to have the experience of being on teams and they do, but through community programs where you don't have to try out rather than school or competitive programs. The schools they attend are proud of their sporting records and the kids have some pride in that even if they don't make the teams.

Bellebella · 02/10/2015 18:31

I don't get that attitude, ok for younger children but at a older age of course they are going to pick the better players. It's something that will always happen in life. Why should someone who has a real talent for the sport lose out on the matches because someone not so talented needs a turn. They are banded for lessons so what's the difference with sports.

Original poster
onlywhenyouleave · 02/10/2015 18:31

I do get that the best team should be picked but it starts to become a self-fulfilling prophecy as the others gradually drop out of all trials leaving these children to be selected regardless of the sport.

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 02/10/2015 18:33

YABU, the best players should be picked for the first team.

Hopefully there are other teams for the other children to play for, or take turns in.

feckitall · 02/10/2015 18:35

I always argued that there should be enough teams to reflect the level of interest...ie a A and B team etc. then play matches against similar levels.

My DS2 on going to a independent school never having played rugby went into the 4th team in year 8 , within a year had moved up to 2nds..and another year later played occasionally in the 1sts..

DD kept being missed out of hockey, again never having played before entry to the school, but the team was made up of county hockey players, when they played the local state schools they annihilated them..it would have been a better match for both sides for a B team..but wouldnt have made them look so impressive

Caravanoflove · 02/10/2015 18:35

My DD is never picked but she has a new teacher who obviously doesn't know who 'those must always be picked' are and she was chosen to enter a sports event .
Anyway she only bloody beat everyone else and won. I'm hoping this may open their eyes, as yes OP it is always the same children for everything and I just don't get it. How many other children have real talent that is just being passed by? My dd has no self confidence in her abilities as she has learned she is not a 'chosen child'. It's so sad.

Yellowpansies · 02/10/2015 18:36

The better option is surely to have an A and a B team, or even more teams, so that everyone who wants to play in a team can do. The B teams from one school can play the B teams in another school.

That way the really sporty competitive kids (like my DD) can play in a really good team, the medium ones (like your DS, or my DS) can play in a B team and kids like I was can go on avoiding team sports like the plague. Everyone is happy Smile

Washediris · 02/10/2015 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HelenaDove · 02/10/2015 18:40

Caravan that sounds suspiciously like the kids that ARE being chosen are being chosen for their popularity rather than their ability.

longdiling · 02/10/2015 18:42

I am 120% with you OP. Why can't schools give everyone a fair chance - strong and weak? The maths set example is bollocks. Because if you were really to make it comparable it would involve not allowing children to do maths if they were deemed not good enough.

Sport is fantastic for kids. We have an acknowledged problem with child obesity in our country. Is it not absolute insanity to stop kids from playing a particular sport because they are deemed not good enough?! If they are enthusiastic and show commitment they should be allowed to join in.

That's how it works outside of school. My son plays a sport where everybody gets to play in the team, they just sub kids in and out when they have too many for a team. He was rubbish when he started but is really getting good a year later. If he had tried to access this sport through school he would have failed to make the team first time round and therefore wouldn't have got to practice so he wouldn't have made the team the next time round either because the kids who were selected first time round would be at a huge advantage. Instead he has learned that hard work and commitment pays off. What a great lesson for a child. Do schools really not want to teach this?

Talent is it's own reward. If you are great at rugby and netball you'll score goals and get lots of praise and recognition, it would take absolutely nothing away from those talented kids to let others join in. Nothing at all.

How many of the adults on here do sport? I do, I came to it late because all I'd learned at school was that I was shit at it and therefore not worth teaching. I'm still pretty shit but I'm a hell of a lot healthier because my running club encourages everybody - however slow.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 02/10/2015 18:43

YABU. The best players need to be on the team.

However, there's no reason why if there is enough demand and parent helpers there couldn't be a second team for the less able players.

Why not offer to help set one up?

Racundra · 02/10/2015 18:44

Why don't you take them tonsport out of school? My DD was upset because she never made the team so she joined a local club to improve her skills, and now she gets picked. It takes determination, and practise, that's all, at primary level.

Racundra · 02/10/2015 18:47

Longdiling- all children get to do the sport in games/PE lessons, not sure any schools are actually banning children from lessons.

Farahilda · 02/10/2015 18:47

"The maths set example is bollocks. Because if you were really to make it comparable it would involve not allowing children to do maths if they were deemed not good enough."

It's not bollocks. Unless the only sport is fixtures (clue:it won't be)

If the school is not putting effort into proper differentiation, and providing competent teaching/coaching fostering both competency and interest - whether maths, PE, science, or any other part of the curriculum - then that's an individual failing of that school/department. Not a reason to decide not to provide appropriate challenge for those strongest in any particular subject.

Caravanoflove · 02/10/2015 18:49

Caravan that sounds suspiciously like the kids that ARE being chosen are being chosen for their popularity rather than their ability.

Helena- YES EXACTLY THAT