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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed that the same children get picked for all the sports teams?

145 replies

onlywhenyouleave · 02/10/2015 18:16

I am fed up of seeing the same names over and over again on the school newsletter for every sports team - I know the school wants to be competitive and pick the best teams but it is so disheartening for all the other children (and yes, DS1 is one of those who isn't picked).

I know quite a few children who don't even bother trying out now as they don't see the point Sad

OP posts:
SheGotAllDaMoves · 02/10/2015 19:56

It's a shame more schools don't field A,B,C and D teams.

If you're prepared to pull on a shirt for your school, then there should be an opportunity to play the same ability players at an opposing school.

Nibledbyducks · 02/10/2015 19:57

Also when it comes to sport, schools need to recognise that being bad at one sport doesn't mean being bad at all of them. At school I was terrible at hockey, OK at netball, but brilliant at basketball. No girls basketball team though, or football and one of my friends played for a city youth team that came second in a national championship.

lljkk · 02/10/2015 19:59

Don't schools have enough trouble scrambling together enough volunteers to run an A team? As well as arranging fixtures and having funds to pay for enough equipment?

Spartans · 02/10/2015 20:02

long not everyone gets to be involved in concerts. Dds school had 150 names down for a musical that requires 40 at most. So the best 40 auditions will get a part.

Only if the concert is 'whole class/year' does everyone get a part....including the ones that don't want a part.

Sports teams are smaller, so more people are turned away. Still a case of the more able ones getting parts.

Spartans · 02/10/2015 20:04

susie no you aren't. Anyone can attend any club at our schools. But attending doesn't mean you automatically get picked for matches/ performances. It does however give kids a chance to improve so they can be picked in future.

Butkin · 02/10/2015 20:08

Another parent used to say to me that it wasn't fair his DD never got picked for hockey/netball/rounders/tennis/running etc whilst my DD was in all the A Teams. I pointed out that my DD enthusiastically attended every after school sports club throughout the year, played hockey and netball for local sports teams and trialled for County. His daughter just went home at the end of each day and didn't go to any out of school clubs. He still moaned that it wasn't fair on his beloved. I pushed the sports teacher to have a C team so everybody played in a couple of matches and watching them you realised the girls of that level just didn't like sport and didn't want to be there. It wasn't their thing and nothing wrong with that..

Original poster
onlywhenyouleave · 02/10/2015 20:10

Unfortunately our school doesn't run clubs as such - they just pick teams for specific competitions and only the selected ones get the extra training.

OP posts:
Washediris · 02/10/2015 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jelliebelly · 02/10/2015 20:12

My ds is very sporty and gets picked for the A team but his school also have a B team and a C and D team ( they don't all them C/D though I think they call them Warriors). It's important that everybody plays sport but I don't agree with killing competitive sport.

Senpai · 02/10/2015 20:13

Depends on the age of these kids.

Part of growing up is understanding that there's some things you're just not good at. Every kid has their strength's, sports just aren't your DS's. That's ok. Have him find something he is good at or find a club where he can play just for shits and giggles.

Butkin · 02/10/2015 20:15

All the girls have to play the sports during PE lessons so they are being taught and encouraged. Some just don't like the competitive requirements of playing other schools...

Hulababy · 02/10/2015 20:16

Ideally the school needs to have B and C teams as well, depending on the size of the school.

But obviously if it is a competition then schools are always going to choose their best players.

Same as any of other competition - they choose the ones who will represent them best: choir, orchestra, maths challenge, spelling, etc.

Original poster
onlywhenyouleave · 02/10/2015 20:16

I just want to point out that my DS does a lot of sport outside of school so we do happily put the effort in and DS really enjoys it. He has played in the same teams now for 4 years so has bonded really well with his teammates and he is talented in the position he plays in (to the extent he trained briefly with a professional team) so I am glad the school team is not the be all and end all of his sport.

So it isn't a case of us not investing the time - god I would love to have weekend lie ins again Grin

OP posts:
Senpai · 02/10/2015 20:16

Lots of kids on observation don't like maths.
Guess we should just let them be

Except there's not many variations of math that are useful to children, and it's an essential life skill.

There's all sorts of ways to get fit and have an active lifestyle without being picked for a sports team that they have no interest in.

But on a personal note, I suck at math so I went into a field that doesn't require it. Most people aren't using anything besides simple addition and subtraction in day to day life. I'm doing quite well, and so are many other adults in my field.

MTGlass · 02/10/2015 20:17

Am slightly puzzled here. Are we talking primary or secondary? I'm in Scotland and competitive sports is completely out at primary level and has been for a number of years. School sports days have been 'team efforts' and there are no individual winners (or losers), and that has been the case since my DC were at primary school.

I disagree with that also. Some kids are good at maths, some at sport, some at art. I believe every child should have a chance to shine at what they are good at.

Not having winners or losers is giving children the wrong message, Winning and losing is part of life!

CountTessa · 02/10/2015 20:20

Frankly I'm so pleased when my dd does get chosen. She has dyslexia and consequently never excels in the classroom, why the hell shouldn't she get pleasure from being a good sportsperson.

KatieLatie · 02/10/2015 20:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

SaltySeaBird · 02/10/2015 20:23

It was the same when I was younger, the sporty ones where in every team. The non sporty ones rarely got to try any sports at all. I remember there was a new sport I really wanted to try, but to even get to have a go you had to be selected. All the normal team members were put forward to try the new sport, I didn't even get to have a go. I grew to hate all sport and when I left school I stopped pretty much all activity.

I took up a number of different sports again when I got to 30 and surprised myself by being reasonably sporty and regularly compete now. I just never got the chance to try at school because if you weren't in at age 10, you were never going to get in or get to practice.

Washediris · 02/10/2015 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
onlywhenyouleave · 02/10/2015 20:28

salty that is my exact point - the other kids don't even try for other sports because they have given up even though they might be really talented at that particular sport.

OP posts:
pastizzi · 02/10/2015 20:33

I do agree that the best kids should be chosen for the teams, and I think competitive sport rather than a 'medals for all' ideology is very important.

However what I strongly disagree with is the fact that school teams are often closed shops as soon as they start up. The same few children are automatically picked year after year and this doesn't allow for other children who may have improved for various reasons (joining a club outside school, getting bigger and stronger or just developing a passionate interest in a sport and giving it their all) to have a chance at a later stage. Just because little Jimmy was best at basketball in year 4 doesn't automatically mean he'll be the best in year 6. And yet coaches seem more afraid of 'demoting' previous sporting superstars than of upsetting kids who know they are at least on a par but are not allowed to break in as it's 'too late'

MuddlingMackem · 02/10/2015 21:16

The maths is an interesting analogy and is only accurate in cases where there are a number of ability teams. In a good school children will be moved tables as they improve or are overtaken, so they get the chance to have their achievements acknowledged by in effect moving up the class rankings. As previous posters have commented, in the schools with A plus B and maybe even C and D teams, children have that same opportunity to improve, or be relegated.

However, as pastizzi most recently commented, those schools with only an A team are generally a closed shop. And that is what is unfair, and in that situation I would say that the OP is NBU.

Janeymoo50 · 02/10/2015 21:26

I was never picked and I can tell you how I felt even now, 40 odd years later......RELIEVED. I hated sport, mainly because I wore glasses and once when playing netball was hit in the face. But, that said, I was a brilliant reader/speaker etc, so was always the one who did readings etc during other things, so I guess it's a case of swings and roundabouts IYSWIM. But, I get your point too.

Original poster
onlywhenyouleave · 02/10/2015 21:29

I totally get those that hate sport are not at all bothered. It is those that enjoy it and want to be chosen but aren't. There are only so many knocks you can take. Yes it is life but they are only children.

I think 'closed shop' is a good description.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 02/10/2015 21:37

DDs primary used to not pick the best, so other dc got a go. So my dc who is a competitive athlete got to miss out (she has no other strengths) so her cousin could do one lap and then drop out. This was year 5/6. Barmy.

Very glad to be at secondary now!