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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stay in a 1 bed flat until baby is 16 months old?

92 replies

lilyb84 · 01/10/2015 22:07

DC1 due in January. Lease comes up in May. We have 1 bedroom with room for a cot. We do have a large lounge but it's essentially our 2 cats' bedroom (we close them in at night so we can get some sleep!) so we wouldn't be able to use it as a second bedroom for us or baby.

We both love this flat - probably the most I've loved somewhere I've lived since childhood. But it's small, with barely any storage space, and no leeway for DH - or me - catching up on rest in a spare room which having spoken to a couple of people who've attempted to bring up a baby in a one bed flat seems to be what they end up doing (one couple I know have basically moved into their lounge so the bedroom is now baby's room).

We live in a fairly nice part of South London and love the area - DH's job is very local and it wouldn't make sense if he had to pay to commute as the salary isn't very high, but it's unlikely we'd find somewhere else in the immediate area for similar rent but with an extra bedroom - we'd have to move further out.

What I'm asking really is - is it practical to stay here for another year when our lease comes up for renewal, or would it just be too much having the baby in our room for nearly a year and a half? Would we be missing the chance to get DC into good sleeping habits by being able to put him down in his own room from 6/7 months onwards? Any of you out there who've managed in a 1 bed for longer than a year?

this all may be made moot by our landlord deciding to put up the rent or deciding he doesn't want a baby in the flat but I'm ignoring both possibilities for now

OP posts:
Vixxfacee · 01/10/2015 22:11

I think a 1 bed is fine for first 2 years. The baby will be in the bedroom with you anyway if you co sleep or breastfeed.

Prettyeyedpiratesmile · 01/10/2015 22:15

My friend lives in a one bed flat with her husband and baby so YANBU. I do think YABU (just a little) that cats take precedent over you or your child being able to sleep in the living room Hmm

HaydeeofMonteCristo · 01/10/2015 22:21

Can you get the cats used to maybe sleeping in kitchen in baskets or similar? Or is that not practicable?

badg3r · 01/10/2015 22:24

I'm in a one bed in south London with my partner and 10 month old ds. It's great. I wouldn't worry about how others have fared. We have no intention of moving till ds is at least 2.

Original poster
lilyb84 · 01/10/2015 22:24

Prettyeyed fair enough point re the cats. It's not that they take preference per se, but we've always put them in a separate room at night as otherwise we'd get no sleep - they play / generally make a nuisance of themselves for much of the night then wake us without fail at 4am wanting breakfast! So if they're roaming the flat or if someone's in the lounge with them, no sleep will be had by anyone which would defeat the object of using the lounge in the first place iyswim.

(realise this sounds a little bit cat lady crazy but this is a system worked out over 6 years! Willing to concede this may need to change once baby arrives)

OP posts:
Purplepixiedust · 01/10/2015 22:26

We didn't live in a 1 bed but had DS in with us until he was 18 months. Much easier with frequent bf. We kept bedroom 2 for office/storage. We had a bedside cot but mostly co-slept (until he was turned 3). The only concern I would have is do you have enough room for baby's stuff. Perhaps extra drawers in living room or something. Babys clothes done have to be in the bedroom (they won't know) :)

Original poster
lilyb84 · 01/10/2015 22:26

Haydee kitchen is tiny - and doesn't have a door - so wouldn't be room to ensure they have litter/food plus wouldn't get round the problem of them waking everyone up!

Badg3r that's encouraging, thank you Smile Good to hear from you and others that this is do-able.

OP posts:
imip · 01/10/2015 22:28

Yes, absolutely! We lived with dd in a 1br flat in East London until she was about 15 months and I was heavily pregnant with dc2.

In fact, over the years (dd1 nearly 9) a number of friends have gone back to this arrangement for purely financial reasons, with cheaper rent for a 1br and they sleep on the lounge. I know of four couples who have done this. It really isn't at all unusual (and they had 2dcs). By reducing their rent, they could still maintain their standard of living through the credit crunch. In most instances, they have moved, or are almost ready to move, into a larger place.

cestlavielife · 01/10/2015 22:29

Definitely doable. Look at self storage costs for stuff. Or Garden storage if you have outside space.

SaucyJack · 01/10/2015 22:33

It's fine. It's usual to have the baby in with you for a good year or so anyway.

We're in a two-bed, but my older DDs are in the second bedroom so our 19 month old is still in with us. Works well for us.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 01/10/2015 22:35

We lived happily in a 1 bed flat with DD as a baby. I wouldn't have used a bedroom for her until I felt comfortable moving her out anyway so it we never saw it as a problem. Like you, our cats slept in the lounge at night time and they continued to do so once DD was born.

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/10/2015 22:37

in theory it should be fine.

in practice it depends on so many things. you may well have a baby that sleeps just fine. or you may end up in the situation we did where I had to "chuck dd out" of our room at 6/7 weeks cos the snuffling kept me awake and my tossing and turning kept her from sleeping properly.

whatever space you have you will fill it.

the best suggestion I can come up with is stress to family they can't buy anything for the baby with out asking. there is so much stuff people think you will need that just takes up space gathers dust be restrained on clothes etc.

buy a booster seat instead of a high chair. buy a microwave steriliser that can he stored in a cupboard rather than out on a work top. instead of 50 thousand blankets just get a sleeping bag/grow bag.

Original poster
lilyb84 · 01/10/2015 22:37

Glad I'm not a cat weirdo!

OP posts:
jorahmormont · 01/10/2015 22:39

My parents lived in a one bed flat with me until I was just shy of 3 years old.

CerseiHeartsJaime4ever · 01/10/2015 22:39

We were in a one bed until DS was 2.

It was fine, he was put down at 7, we went in at about 11, all woke up together at 7am for work/breakfast.

Space for toys was an issue though.

Original poster
lilyb84 · 01/10/2015 22:41

Good advice Giles - fortunately I'm very good at getting rid of unnecessary stuff so will just use that particular skill as much as possible. Family are being very good about asking what we need help with so I think gifts if we get them will be mostly necessary things only. Anything over and above especially any horrible slogan t shirts or overly blue stuff will be going straight on ebay Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
lilyb84 · 01/10/2015 22:43

Cersai good to know! Toys will fit in our lounge (seriously it's huge) - bigger problem will be convincing cats the toys aren't for them!

OP posts:
JapaneseSlipper · 01/10/2015 22:48

We did. It was tough but do-able.

Space aside, it was also difficult for us because the baby wouldn't sleep through lots of noise. So making dinner was really difficult because the kitchen happened to be right on the other side of the wall from her cot. SO it depends a little on the layout and acoustics of your flat. If baby will be a long way from the living space, that will help. Carpet will too (we had laminate floors and they made noise travel).

Good luck x

x2boys · 01/10/2015 22:51

the lack of storage might drive you mad though i lived in a 2 bed flat untill ds1 was six and ds2 was 3 it had no storage so the place was constatntly a muddle in a two bed house now but tons of storage so much better.

Neddyteddy · 01/10/2015 22:51

I would have been fine in your situation cosleeping and breastfeeding.

Equipment wise just get a sling, a changing mat, maybe a compact collapsible buggy (mclaren), a small blanket to put on the floor so baby can roll around, a cheap changing mat,

Prettyeyedpiratesmile · 01/10/2015 22:52

lily the one bed flat is entirely doable and I'm glad you're getting support on this one. I do think that the cats might have to be relocated to another part of the house though when the little one arrives even though It's always been their territory like you say. dont worry about the flat and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and beyond lily Smile

brokenhearted55a · 01/10/2015 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gileswithachainsaw · 01/10/2015 23:05

plenty of people have babies and cats Confused

chances are they won't be remotely interested in the baby. it's only temporary..the cats are worth enough to at least try. don't chuck. out just cos a baby comes along that's not how pets are meant to be treated

May09Bump · 01/10/2015 23:06

I'd say wait and see how it works when the baby is born. We lasted two nights in the same room. DH's snoring woke the baby and the baby's snuffles woke DH. I slept in the nursery with the baby in the end for everyone's sanity.

I think I would say no problem, except for the cats, as you could have a sofa bed in living room as a back-up.

munchkinmaster · 01/10/2015 23:32

If you are going to be on mat leave for a good while it's really important you spend it some where you like. We stayed in a smaller flat with dd2 as I couldn't face the loneliness of mat leave in the burbs with no where to go for a coffee or browse the shops with pram

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