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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to stay in a 1 bed flat until baby is 16 months old?

92 replies

lilyb84 · 01/10/2015 22:07

DC1 due in January. Lease comes up in May. We have 1 bedroom with room for a cot. We do have a large lounge but it's essentially our 2 cats' bedroom (we close them in at night so we can get some sleep!) so we wouldn't be able to use it as a second bedroom for us or baby.

We both love this flat - probably the most I've loved somewhere I've lived since childhood. But it's small, with barely any storage space, and no leeway for DH - or me - catching up on rest in a spare room which having spoken to a couple of people who've attempted to bring up a baby in a one bed flat seems to be what they end up doing (one couple I know have basically moved into their lounge so the bedroom is now baby's room).

We live in a fairly nice part of South London and love the area - DH's job is very local and it wouldn't make sense if he had to pay to commute as the salary isn't very high, but it's unlikely we'd find somewhere else in the immediate area for similar rent but with an extra bedroom - we'd have to move further out.

What I'm asking really is - is it practical to stay here for another year when our lease comes up for renewal, or would it just be too much having the baby in our room for nearly a year and a half? Would we be missing the chance to get DC into good sleeping habits by being able to put him down in his own room from 6/7 months onwards? Any of you out there who've managed in a 1 bed for longer than a year?

this all may be made moot by our landlord deciding to put up the rent or deciding he doesn't want a baby in the flat but I'm ignoring both possibilities for now

OP posts:

SomeKindOfDeliciousBiscuit · 01/10/2015 23:38

I'd rehome the cats too. Something's got to give, and you need all the support you can get with a baby, so it would be worth staying put for a bit if you can.

ThereGoesaTenner · 01/10/2015 23:44

I lived with my son in my room until he was nearly a year old because I lived with my mum before I moved out. Had no problems with his sleeping at all, except his teething. I just had to be quiet when I went to bed. All this stuff about baby needs its own room at 6 months is crap, imo.

Junosmum · 02/10/2015 00:06

Is there a reason you have to renew for a whole year? Can't you just let it run to a periodic (monthly) tenancy? They can't legally make you sign another contract and would have to provide you with 2 months notice if they wanted you to leave. Alternatively you could ask for 6 month contract if you want the security. That way if you find it's not great for you you can move out more quickly.

redlolly · 02/10/2015 00:07

Another one who thinks it's v do-able. It might be a good idea to get a sofa bed or sleeping bag for the lounge so that if one of you has work the next day or is exhausted and is struggling, you can do shifts with the baby in the bedroom while the other one gets a kip. Oh and earplugs! Congratulations and good luck

Sparrowlegs248 · 02/10/2015 06:11

Weave a 10 week old DS. I think your main issue will be 'stuff'. We have far far less than most people but there is still quite a bit. Look at the necessities. We didn't get a baby bath but a baby support thing so he can go in the big bath - i think its called angel care. Takes up less room. You don't need to sterilise at all. If you have a dishwasher use that, otherwise hot soapy water and rinse (this advice was given to my friend who had twins 8weeks early, by the hospital)

You won't need to worry about sleeping areas upstairs and downstairs (i have as its a trek up v steep stairs to my bedroom)

There's loads of baby stuff that you just don't need. If you have a car you can keep you Pam in it. If you dont you can get a stroller suitable from birth which will take up less room.

Oh and amazed at the 'whole the cats' suggestion! We have two cats. Last night there was me, dh , DS and both cats on our bed at one point

Lweji · 02/10/2015 06:22

We had ds in a one bed flat until older and it worked.
He moved to his own bedroom fine.

turningvioletviolet · 02/10/2015 06:30

We were in a one bed flat with ds until he was one. We swapped the bedroom and the sitting room round because the sitting room was the bigger room. It was fine. I have only fond memories of our time there. Disclaimer: ds was at full time nursery so we were out of the flat more than we were in it and it was 18 years ago so my memories might be slightly rose tinted.

HackerFucker22 · 02/10/2015 06:37

We were in a 1 bed until DC1 was 2. I was 30 weeks pregnant when we moved but had we needed to we'd have coped with DC2 in out flat too (it was a massive 1 bedroom)

Now we're in a 2 bedroom with 2 kids so shock horror they'll have to share a bedroom!!

In the old place DC1 was is a cotbed and thankfully has always been an amazing sleeper so we didn't disturb him.... or vice versa.

HackerFucker22 · 02/10/2015 06:37

We're North London by the way.

Original poster

lilyb84 · 02/10/2015 07:34

Thanks all, this is all really useful advice and experience.

Rehoming the cats isn't an option except as an absolute last resort (baby is allergic, cats become aggressive) - they're as much a part of our family as baby will be.

Junos - I've considered asking for a 6 month tenancy but don't think our landlord / estate agent will be amenable. Not that we've ever met our landlord. Worth asking though!

I think as some of you have said it will depend on how baby sleeps and how disruptive he is to us or vice versa at night. DH doesn't do well on lack of sleep (I know, I know) so would definitely be looking into alternative sleeping arrangements if it didn't work out us all being in the same room.

Thank you all again, you've made me much more hopeful about at least trying! Althogh the thought of flat hunting with a 3 month old is almost enough to convince me

OP posts:

GloGirl · 02/10/2015 07:44

I think actually you're much better off somewhere you know and feel comfortable in, for pregnancy, for newborn stages and having a small place for a tiny toddler is great.

When she's 16 months and you look again you will have a much better idea of what you need than you will if you look with a tiny newborn. All those lovely quirks of a property might end up really irritating with toddler!

Moomintroll85 · 02/10/2015 08:03

You should be fine. We are in a 2 bed with a 1 year old but as it turns out he's still in with us as he's a difficult sleeper, so may as well be in a one bed really.

We also have a cat who is great with our DS, so I don't understand this knee jerk rehome the cats nonsense . Perhaps something to consider as a last resort if you find you're having problems but they will most likely be fine!

HSMMaCM · 02/10/2015 08:04

Not in a one bed, but DD was in our room with us for the first couple of years.

Janeymoo50 · 02/10/2015 08:13

I wondered how long it would take for someone to say get rid of the cats...GRRRR.

MrsPear · 02/10/2015 08:17

People in the UK need a chill pill when comes to people sharing rooms. My SIL is currently sharing with her husband and two children age 3 and 2 - perfectly normal in there culture.

Senpai · 02/10/2015 08:19

For baby, it'll be fine. Kids can and will adapt to any living situation you decide on. You on the other hand might find that your darling cherub is actually a little gremlin as he gets bigger. :)

RedToothBrush · 02/10/2015 08:36

We have a 2 bed, but it has an impractical layout for very small children (bedrooms on different floors).

Sleeping arrangements are fine. DS is 13 months old and still in with us. TBH I wouldn't want it any other way!

Storage space and space to move around in, would actually be my bigger concern.

Solasum · 02/10/2015 08:49

We are in a one bed. I put DS (rising 2) to bed then follow on later. At some point during the night he climbs in next to me. I love it, as working fulltime it is a bit of extra time together. The flat has a fair amount of storage, and thankfully my parents can store unseasonable clothes. No plans to move anytime soon, and would consider the sofa bed option down the line.

Original poster

lilyb84 · 02/10/2015 10:10

Solas have you moved on to having a toddler bed in your room rather than cot? I know my 2yo nephew is in one now and that would definitely be trickier to fit in our room (see, now I'm getting excited about staying in our lovely flat forever...).

OP posts:

Artandco · 02/10/2015 10:15

We live in a 1 bed flat in London. Our children are now 4 and 5 years old. It's fine and we love it, no plans to move anytime soon.

Lweji · 02/10/2015 10:17

Funny how almost all 1 bed flats with children are in London.

Mine was too.

TheABC · 02/10/2015 10:18

OP, we have recently moved to a three bed house with a two year old (and two cats) and still end up sleeping together in one room!

You will be fine. Just be ruthless with the clutter and invest in a couple of boxes, shelves or hanging pods to store toys so they don't crunch underfoot.

LieselVonTwat · 02/10/2015 10:43

We had DC1 in the same bedroom as us until well past 2 and may well do the same for DC2. It is very useful having somewhere else to sleep for if the baby is having a disturbed night, but you weigh that up against other things. For example, do you have a hall that would fit a blow up bed in since the living room won't allow anyone much sleep?

scifisam · 02/10/2015 11:17

Like others have said, it's definitely doable. If it comes to it one of you will have to choose to sleep in the same room as the cats now and then.

The only thing I'd add is asking someone if you can store some stuff there - I mean stuff like baby paintings and some special toys and the like, especially if you intend to have another child somewhere along the line or if you end up with very little space even after the next year. That kind of stuff can be boxed up easily and put away in someone else's loft. I do regret not having that much from my daughter's childhood as many people seem to and it was due to lack of storage space.

Londonista123 · 02/10/2015 11:27

OP, you mentioned that the living room is very large I think - any chance of moving the living room into the bedroom (with cats at night!) and having the bigger space as a bedroom for all of you?

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