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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not really miss the baby/very early years?

71 replies

cyclerunmum1 · 01/10/2015 12:40

Just read a status about how we should all cherish the sleepless nights as they are gone too soon and then when they are teens they don't need you... etc.

Am I the only one who, although I did enjoy having my two as babies, I have enjoyed pretty much every stage they go through.

Now having a 7yo and a 23yo I can really appreciate having an adult child. Watching her grow and develop into a young woman has made me more proud than I imagined and although maybe not physically, she has needed me emotionally. I don't feel redundant, I feel lucky to have such a fantastic young woman as my DD, and love spending time with her still.

And yes I am getting to do it all again with my younger DD, but I don't hanker for the days of nappies and sleepless nights.... ever. So AIBU?

OP posts:

M4blues · 01/10/2015 12:44

Well I'm still there with my youngest but no way will I miss it. I thoroughly dislike the baby stage and much prefer having older children. Ds1 is Y8 and almost 13 and slthough he's hormonal and unreasonable at times, he's also a great conversationalist and has a good sense of fun. Ds2 is 10 and I enjoying watching his personality mature too. It's so much nicer when you're not frazzled and sleep deprived and when they can make you a cup of tea.

Savagebeauty · 01/10/2015 12:49

I have totally blocked from my mind anything about babies and toddlers.
Mine are late teens and its so much better

I'd be hopeless with grandchildren.
No leaving babies with me thankyou

wigglesrock · 01/10/2015 12:49

I'm the same, I have a 10,7 and 4 year old. I love watching them grow up especially my 10 year old, watching her form her own views, navigate friendships, discover interests, ask opinions, get more independent. I can honestly say that the past year or so, is the most enjoyable time I've spent with my kids.

SaucyJack · 01/10/2015 12:54

YANBU.

Mine are 10, 8 and 19 months. If I hadn't have had a change of partner between DC 2&3- there's no fecking way I would've gone back to the baby days.

Just stuff like going to the park is 50 billion times harder again now. Urgh. And don't even mention Saturday morning lie-ins.

PennyPants · 01/10/2015 14:13

I am a bit nostalgic for the 5-10 yrs atm
But that would mean going through the puberty years all over again, as they're already at least half way through I'm looking forward to the other side.

RiverTam · 01/10/2015 14:19

God, no. The older DD gets (currently 5.9) the better! She's still my gorgeous cuddly girl but bloody hell, night feeds and weaning and potty training and all that shite? No thanks!

Pyjamaface · 01/10/2015 14:23

I bloody loved the baby years! It is getting much harder as the years go by for me. I am so bloody proud of DS but it was blissfully easy for the first couple of years compared to now.

I will state that he was, obviously, a very easy baby and always slept well etc

Deathtomoonsand · 01/10/2015 14:29

YANBU.

I have 3dc and the first year for each was largely an exercise in survival. I do seem though, either through genes or nurture, to produce fucking miserable babies though. We've had colic and reflux and wheezers and all three fought sleep with an iron will.

Thank god they made/ make such lovely toddlers and children.

LumelaMme · 01/10/2015 14:57

I love babies, and I can't wait to be a grandma, but I don't miss the lack of sleep or the bloody nappies: I actually danced the day that long era of my life finally came to an end!

PacificDogwod · 01/10/2015 15:00

YAsoNBUatall!

Give me a walking talking child any day over a baby or toddler - mine are now between 12 and 5 and I am enjoying them so much more than when they were really little.

Being cute is how unreasonable little people trick us into looking after them and their outrageous, never ending demands

BrandNewAndImproved · 01/10/2015 15:02

I absolutely LOVE that my dc are now 8 and almost 10. I've actually started enjoying their company, their sense of humour and the fact I don't have to clean up shit. My house stays tidy and they can help around the house and are independent from me.

I do not miss mouldy apples down the sides of the sofa.

My friends and family think I'm weird for looking forward to the teenage years. I like teenagers I can't wait!

BrandNewAndImproved · 01/10/2015 15:03

Oh but now my ds doesn't run out and kiss me when he comes put from school. Hes to cool for that now. That was sad.

Spartans · 01/10/2015 15:06

Yanbu. Me and dh had this conversation today.

I don't miss the baby stage at all.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 01/10/2015 15:11

Totally agree.

Children are far less tedious once they can wipe their own arse, pour water on a Pot Noodle and hold a vaguely interesting conversation.

JoandMax · 01/10/2015 15:11

At the moment I don't at all! DCs are 5 and 7 and the last couple of years have just been brilliant - no nappies, no naps, no pushchair. We can go anywhere and do anything and they're so much fun and easy as anything!

I did enjoy the baby stage but not half as much as I am this stage!

HumphreyCobblers · 01/10/2015 15:18

YANBU. I have an eight year old, a seven year old and a nearly two year old. The toddler is SUCH hard work, he gets up at four thirty ffs. He can't communicate except by yelling and pointing, he is obsessed with climbing in water I found him standing in the loo , he makes me read dig dig digging fifty times a day etc etc.

Hotpatootietimewarp · 01/10/2015 16:03

Hm I don't know yet! I have a 7 year old, 2 year old and 6 month old. The 7 year old is a DD and is bloomin hard work at times and will only get worse I believe, attitude on her is unbelievable! Love her dearly though, I may need to take up nightly drinking to get through her teen years ! Whereas the babies are a doddle IMO only thing I don't like is having to to pay for childcare

Nancyanne · 01/10/2015 16:40

YANBU! A lot of women won't admit that they are knackered and are struggling to juggle babies/toddlers/work etc. It's bloody hard work! I do not miss it at all. My kids are now 18.5 years and 17 years and it's great. Oldest left for Uni - that was a bit hard, but it's ok. I have to smile to myself when I see these serene looking ladies in the park with a toddler, a pram and maybe a dog, looking as though it's all under control....and I think, I bet when you get home it's chaos! When you're doing bottles and bath time later, I shall be sipping my Prosecco with DH and having a right old laugh with no responsibilities - HA! Tbh, I think you have to find the bright side, or you would become morose for eg. about oldest leaving. I would recommend reading some Real Mum bloggs. Try Like Real Life on Facebook. I send snippets to my Sister who is struggling with a sleepless toddler. :-)

scarlets · 01/10/2015 17:09

I enjoyed the newborn phase. It was easier than I anticipated. I felt very relaxed.

However, the toddler stage was so terribly hard. I struggled. I look back on it as a real drudge period. Many people (especially women, I think) favour that part of their DCs' childhood, but I disliked it.

I'm enjoying it more and more as they're getting older. I can see what you mean about your 23y old although mine are still significantly younger than that.

HemanOrSheRa · 01/10/2015 17:16

I'm so glad it's not just me. I hated the baby stage. It's one of the reasons I only have one DC. I would say I started to enjoy being a parent when DS was around 2.5 - 3 years old. He's 10 now and I really enjoy his company.

Welshmaenad · 01/10/2015 17:17

YANBU! I often say to DH that if I could pop out a fully formed older toddler I'd happily have another child.

Another BABY? Nothankyew. shudders

Twerking9to5 · 01/10/2015 17:23

This is very encouraging to read...I've currently got DS who's 2 and a 12 week old DD. It is incredibly hard and often pretty thankless. Obviously I love them, but I'm looking forward to them being just that little bit older. I'm sure I'll miss some stuff but it sounds like there's more fun to come, so thanks!!

Welshmaenad · 01/10/2015 17:26

Twerking, it gets better! Mine are 5 and 9 now and whilst not without their challenges, are on the whole completely delightful little beasts whose company I enjoy.

I think my moment of glory came the day the youngest could fasten his own seatbelt. It transformed my life.

LadyNym · 01/10/2015 17:30

YAsoooooNBU!

Mine are still pretty young (3 years and 18 months) but all my friends post FB updates about crying on their kids' first birthdays and getting all emotional about them growing out of clothes etc. because they're so sad their 'little babies' are gone. I just don't get it! I'm really not a baby person and as much as I loved my boys when they were babies, it's much better now they're a little older and I'm looking forward to them being older still.

I had mine relatively close together for the express purpose of getting the horrible baby stage over and done with quickly!

I think people have a tendency to look back with rose-tinted glasses.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 01/10/2015 17:35

The only things I really miss are the teeny cuddles and being able to put them down, go to the loo and then come back and find they're still where you left them. Can't wait for my 18 month old to start talking, I'd like to have a conversation with him that goes beyond screaming and pointing.
My nearly 5 year old is getting quite independent, but the tantrums are harder.

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