Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not really miss the baby/very early years?

71 replies

cyclerunmum1 · 01/10/2015 12:40

Just read a status about how we should all cherish the sleepless nights as they are gone too soon and then when they are teens they don't need you... etc.

Am I the only one who, although I did enjoy having my two as babies, I have enjoyed pretty much every stage they go through.

Now having a 7yo and a 23yo I can really appreciate having an adult child. Watching her grow and develop into a young woman has made me more proud than I imagined and although maybe not physically, she has needed me emotionally. I don't feel redundant, I feel lucky to have such a fantastic young woman as my DD, and love spending time with her still.

And yes I am getting to do it all again with my younger DD, but I don't hanker for the days of nappies and sleepless nights.... ever. So AIBU?

OP posts:
PennyHasNoSurname · 01/10/2015 17:44

I have a 3.10yo and a 11mo and really didnt like the baby stages. Now the littlest is growing I am counting down! One more.month and I can stop buying and making formula, another couple of monthsI can bin the bottles forever

In a couple of years time no buggy!!!

I love them growing in front of my eyes and enjoy them more every day.

LookingUpAtTheStars · 01/10/2015 17:53

I'm still waiting for my five year old to get easier. He's been grumpy and hard to please from the day he was born. I'll feel cheated if I don't get a stage where I can honestly say he's a delight to parent!

Original poster
cyclerunmum1 · 01/10/2015 17:54

I see I am not alone Grin, don't get me wrong my 7yo DD2 is a handful at the best of times (although yes the seatbelt fastening day was a huge milestone!).

I do look back on DD1's childhood and realise I never appreciated that she was a fairly easy child. She was, however, a challenging teen from 15 to 17 and I saw the inside of the Headteacher's office more times than I would've liked. But now.... I try to soothe my friends with teens that it really does get much better.

I just think once we have children they are ours for a very long time, and although the cute, very dependent years can be lovely, it really isn't a shame when they grow, because they can grow into even more fascinating children/teens and young adults.

OP posts:
Thefuckinggrinch · 01/10/2015 17:59

YADNBU I really struggle with the baby stuff. Yes they are cute and they grow fast. It's amazing but so totally draining and relentless I really don't miss it.

I have loved seeing them grow after this. Age 3 and up is best. Give to me potty trained, weaned and ready to play duplo...

juneau · 01/10/2015 18:20

YADNBU! In retrospect I was pretty miserable during the baby and toddler years. Mine are now 7 (nearly 8) and 4 and I'm a much happier person now I'm getting decent sleep most of the time and they go to school. No more babies for me (the thought makes me shudder!)

Girlfriend36 · 01/10/2015 18:25

YANBU my dd is 9yo now and it is fab, we can do lots of nice stuff together, she is fairly independent and good company. I like babies but they are hard work Grin

KathyBeale · 01/10/2015 18:25

I wish I felt the same. Mine are now 9 and 6 and I can't cope with them at all. I seem to spend all my time shouting at them and they mostly just ignore me. I can't deal with school or having friends round or homework. I generally feel like I'm letting them down every single day and I LONG for the days when they loved me, and I knew what I was doing (sort of!) and we could just cuddle all day.

Farahilda · 01/10/2015 18:31

YANBU!

The baby/toddler/young child stage was lovely, whilst it was happening. But not what I was naturally in tune with (puppies would have been easier).

But bigger children are much more fun, and I'm really enjoying the late primary and secondary years.

dreadingautumn · 01/10/2015 18:34

Mine are 13, 9 & 5 and I don't miss one single minute of babyhood. I love that we are at the stage where we can go anywhere and do anything. No having to eat early due to kids, no buggies, peaceful plane journeys, nobody waking up through the night and screaming (unless I'll, which is thankfully rarely). I'm enjoying this time in our lives hugely

FaFoutis · 01/10/2015 18:38

YANBU. Hardest time of my life, I couldn't do it again.

SakuraSakura · 01/10/2015 18:57

YANBU! I adored baby dd, but it was so hard. She never slept. I felt terrible a lot of the time. Mastitis, sore nipples, restless nights, dirty nappies, I was always getting colds & infections.....I don't miss the exhaustion one bit.

Lndnmummy · 01/10/2015 19:09

Am with you on this one. Motherhood truly became enjoyable for me when ds turned 3. Sure, I have always loved him but it is only the last 6-7 months where I have truly enjoyed motherhood. Until recently I really missed my old life, friends, wine, lie ins etc and felt so sad and trapped over motherhood.

I love it now, love the company, the questions, the stories, football and pirates. LOVE IT. The wiping, the sick, the tortureous nipples, sleep deprivation and bull was so hard for me. Hated it.

BackforGood · 01/10/2015 22:51

Of Course YANBU
Teen years are the best Smile

dontrunwithscissors · 02/10/2015 03:37

YANBU. I loved the DCs, but I hated being pregnant, hated the constant, bone-draining tiredness (neither DDs slept much for the first 3 years), the boredom, the constant-watching. 3 was definitely a turning point with both.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 02/10/2015 05:02

Having been awake since 11pm with one or other of mine (23 months and 12 weeks) I can guarantee I will not miss this stage. Although I am currently finding my newborn a million times easier than my toddler.

TheOriginalWinkly · 02/10/2015 05:20

It is hard to cherish every fucking moment when the 1 year old has you up at 3.30 and just will not go back to sleep and the alarm is set for 6.30 for work.

PenelopeChipShop · 02/10/2015 06:32

I'm so glad to read this today. I'vex just announced at work that I'm pregnant with no.2 and they've been asking if I'm looking forward to having a baby again... no!!

I want another DC of course, but I found DS1's baby years so hard. He didn't sleep through until almost 3 years old and it made such a dramatic difference to my life, I can't even tell you. In fact within months of that milestone I was pregnant, rose tinted goggles firmly in place!

Just yesterday though I was thinking 'it'll be lovely when the baby is 3 and DS1 is 7' and the baby is still inside! Am I weird??

Ragwort · 02/10/2015 06:40

It so depends on the child - I don't actually miss the baby years, but they were so, so easy compared to the teenage years Grin - but I had such an easy baby - slept all the time, happy to go anywhere/do anything now life is an endless round of 'negotiation' and I am frequently in tears of frustration. I am just looking forward to the time (if) he leaves home.

LadyLuck81 · 02/10/2015 06:52

Not that I'm willing my life away but DS is only just turning 1 and while I love him to pieces, as I do his big sister who is almost 4, I'm looking forward to her in school and him in nursery and actual conversations.

The baby days can be lovely but they're also bloody hard work.

Thebirdsneedseeds · 02/10/2015 06:54

I have a toddler and I'm pregnant. I want the next baby out and growing. I'm dreading it. Why can't I wave a wand and have done the first 18 months year.

I hated the first year. I had pnd, major anxiety requiring CBT, it was bloody exhausting and terrifying.

ds is now nearly 2 - full blown toddler tantrums. It's not fun. It's such hard work. But better than a newborn (shudder) beacuse he walks, can be reasoned with to some degree and is fun.

That said, I absolutely adore my son. He's amazing and beautiful and I'm in awe of him. But it doesn't make it any easier.

I'm looking forward to ironing school clothes (not tiny clothes that are half the size of the fecking iron), sitting down doing homework together, days out without nap schedule stress, listening to my children, playing their games and giggling with them. I know it won't be all hearts and butterflies but at least they won't poo themselves, wake 4 times a night, shout no all the time and cry when you tell them they can't eat a slug.

Openup41 · 02/10/2015 08:38

Baby stage easy from 6-8 weeks. Toddler stage difficult. 4 onwards bliss. I agree that potty training is not for the faint hearted or having to take them to the toilet!

Grazia1984 · 02/10/2015 08:41

Some of the best most important memories of my life are being pregnant, giving birth and all those hours breastfeeding.

However I was wise enough to have the best of all worlds by only take 2 weeks off work before going back full time with all the babies so I had that lovely balance of family and work. I do enjoy children at all ages however. It's nice having teenagers now too particularly these two as they are interesting and no trouble.

Senpai · 02/10/2015 08:43

YANBU. It's the reason we're only having one kid. Neither me nor DH has the stamina to do a newborn baby again. It's exhausting and thankless.

DD is finally getting fun and interesting now that she's 18 months and developing a personality, particular likes, dislikes, can show affection, and I can actually engage in "real" activities with her like cooking or coloring.

Openup41 · 02/10/2015 08:44

I think every stage has it's pros and cons. Teenagers require a lot of emotional support as their bodies are changing, friendships change, peer pressure, dating (or lack of dating!).

I was very dysfunctional as a teen due to school bullying, loss of friendships, bad self image. I hope to God that my dc enjoy their teenage years as I hated mine.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 02/10/2015 10:07

yep, hate scheduling my life around naps! I was 'blessed' with a child who will only sleep in her cot, however exhausted she is. No day trips for us!

Swipe left for the next trending thread