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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unhappy with this school trip?

487 replies

IWannaHoldYourHand · 30/09/2015 22:29

Ds2 is in reception and has come home with a letter advising us of a school trip to a farm in December. The cost is a reasonable amount for the farm that will be visited, however the main focus of the visit is having lunch with Santa, and receiving a gift.

It is the visiting Santa that I feel odd about. I see this as a very family based event, and not something I would expect to do with anybody else, or without his sibling. We wouldn't even refer to him as Santa at home, and it just feels strange to me.

I have spoken to the head who informed me that this will be backing up their learning for that term, and advised that I have the option of attending, but it still feels wrong to me. So is this normal, do schools regularly take a trip to visit Father Christmas?

OP posts:
Topseyt · 01/10/2015 01:08

I don't see what the issue is at all. Confused

If you are that bothered then don't consent for him to go on the trip.

He'll feel rather left out though when the others go, and even more so when they come back talking about it.

I can't see what your reasoning or logic is.

Littlecaf · 01/10/2015 06:09

There will be a thread in education in the next few days "parent complained about trip to see Father Christmas as being too 'family' ". Shock

Also not getting the difference between Father Christmas and Santa Claus. They are two different names for the same made up person?

GloriaHotcakes · 01/10/2015 06:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoboChic · 01/10/2015 06:34

I agree OP.

Father Christmas is a very special fiction enacted by parents for their children within a family home. FC costs parents a lot of time/money. School should not go there!

Fratelli · 01/10/2015 06:42

Yabu and precious imo. It sounds lovely, your child will enjoy it and so many children don't get the chance to do things like that. They can differentiate between home and school.

BoboChic · 01/10/2015 06:44

School isn't a top-up scheme for inadequate parenting.

Spartans · 01/10/2015 06:49

So you call him Father Christmas and are objecting because he is referred to as Santa here.

Lots of people call him Santa, it's something your son will hear every christmas for the rest of his life. Many people call him something different. I Really don't get this.

Most school trips would also make great 'family' days out. All the trips our kids on, would make an excellent family trip. So I don't get that point either.

As for the school doing something different...that's great. I would find it odd if a school did exactly the same year in, year out. Teachers come up with new ideas, may ditch things that didn't work etc. so don't get that either

clairemum22 · 01/10/2015 06:55

I wouldn't like it either. It's something special we do as a family. I don't know of any school locally that does this. FC does attend the Christmas fair but he's easy to avoid, and you visit him in family groups anyway.

Mehitabel6 · 01/10/2015 06:55

Sounds lovely to me. You do realise that Father Christmas may turn up at school? It really doesn't matter if he is called FC or Santa, or if you do him as a family or not- children are very adaptable - obviously far more so than OP.

Bunbaker · 01/10/2015 06:55

Some people get their knickers in a twist about the most trivial things.

Any parent who makes a fuss about this sort of thing, unless they are Jehova's Witnesses or have similar reasons, will be known as "that parent" in the staff room.

My advice is choose your battles.

Spartans · 01/10/2015 07:00

I wouldn't like it either. It's something special we do as a family. I don't know of any school locally that does this. FC does attend the Christmas fair but he's easy to avoid, and you visit him in family groups anyway.

Can some explain this? Yes it's something families do. It isn't stopping you doing it though. The family can do it as well, as a family.

bobo not sure I understand. Schools are expected to do a lot of things because some children have inadequate parenting.

Mehitabel6 · 01/10/2015 07:02

What very strange ideas you do have BoboChic. It is the first time that I have heard of a lovely school trip idea being called 'a top up scheme for inadequate parenting'! Biscuit It is the first time that I have felt the need for this emoticon.
I think that you will find FC everywhere at Christmas and not someone that you can keep private to the family! What has time/money got to do with it? Is it something you begrudge? Confused

Mehitabel6 · 01/10/2015 07:03

Choose you battles OP. At least you will have given a laugh in the staff room!

BoboChic · 01/10/2015 07:03

Spartans - schools should not be doing things to fill in for inadequate parenting unless (a) absolutely necessary (b) totally unavoidable.

Bunbaker · 01/10/2015 07:04

"I wouldn't like it either. It's something special we do as a family. I don't know of any school locally that does this. FC does attend the Christmas fair but he's easy to avoid, and you visit him in family groups anyway."

I don't understand why visiting Santa has to be a family only thing.
Once you decide to have your child educated outside of the home I'm sure that there will be all sorts of things covered that you have no control over.

In the grand scheme of things it isn't important at all.

Get a grip.

FairNotFit · 01/10/2015 07:05

FC does attend the Christmas fair but he's easy to avoid

I love this Grin Grin

Oh no - he's looking over here. No, don't look at him. Look at the tree. THE TREE. Oh God, I've caught his eye. This is awkward...

Spartans · 01/10/2015 07:08

bobo yes they should. Schools often give more support to children who don't get it at home. Of course they should. I went to meeting the other day so a teacher could tell us how imporatant it was that our child was supported in learning to read and how to support them. It was all stuff that I felt was obvious, however the meeting is there because some people don't think it's obvious, in some cases they don't care. I didnt mind taking time out to go even though I didn't learn anything myself.

I also don't get how this trip is actually doing that.

Mehitabel6 · 01/10/2015 07:09

I don't think that your argument holds water when you have a school in an area where all children have supportive parents and the school still does lovely trips BoboChic.

Greengardenpixie · 01/10/2015 07:09

Its common place in both nursery and schools up to the age of around 6 to have santa come in and give a present. They usually have a christmas party. No idea what is wrong with it unless you dont like the idea of santa.

Mehitabel6 · 01/10/2015 07:12

I also agree with Spartans that schools should fill in for inadequate parenting and am thankful they do. I can't think that anyone could begrudge this. Not that I think a reception class visiting FC has anything to do with it.
I also love the family having to avoid FC at the Christmas fete. MN is priceless sometimes! Grin

Mehitabel6 · 01/10/2015 07:13

I am surprised that anyone gets their child to reception age without FC turning up at Christmas parties.

BoboChic · 01/10/2015 07:14

No wonder there is a recruitment crisis in teaching. School's role needs to be much more tightly ring fenced.

Bunbaker · 01/10/2015 07:14

"bobo yes they should. Schools often give more support to children who don't get it at home. Of course they should."

This

I used to be a school governor. I know for a fact that the school keeps an extra eye out for vulnerable pupils. They also involve social services if necessary.

Spartans · 01/10/2015 07:17

Still don't get your point bobo, recruitment is in crisis because schools are expected to support kids who don't have great support from home.

The teachers I know consider that to be an imporatnt part of the job and are happy to do it

Sapele · 01/10/2015 07:23

I agree with the OP. First off, it is something I'd only want to do as a family whereby I could make sure it felt right, ie in line with what I want them to think it's about. (right setting etc)

Secondly some 'santas' are horrible, truly horrible and I would not want to risk it being one of those.

I would have loathed this as a child because somehow the 'friendly' characters that you'd expect would be 'nice to all children' always seemed not to like me very much.

I'd be afraid it would put my child off the idea of Father Christmas for ever.

Yanbu OP but I'm not sure if there's much you can do apart from to organise a half-necessary medical appointment for the same day (dentist maybe?)