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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think having a dog is not the same as having a baby.

73 replies

Allyoucaneat · 30/09/2015 13:06

I have a 12month old who is a crappy sleeper, on a good night he wakes 3 or 4 times but most nights it's more like 6-8 times.

My dp does is fair share but I'm still utterly exhausted. I leave for work at 7am, so I get up at 6am, although one of is usually aready up with with ds2 who wakes around 5am.

My colleague has just got a new dog, 5yr old rescue dog.

At work today was having a lighthearted moan about not getting enough sleep. She replied 'I know how you feel since we got the dog I have to get up an hour earlier than I used to, to walk him, I need to get up at 7:30am now.'

Aibu to think getting up to walk your dog is not the same as getting up with a child six times a night then starting the day at 6am!? It's just not on the same level, it's not a puppy needing training or anything.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 30/09/2015 13:09

Competitive Misery.

MinesAPintOfTea · 30/09/2015 13:11

If its the first time they've been properly responsible for a dependent life, then its a taster. It isn't a competition

MyNameIsRonnieFuckingPickering · 30/09/2015 13:13

Obviously it's not the same. But colleagues are sent to test us, if they're not comparing puppies to babies they're stealing your stapler or sniffing every ten seconds.

No biggie.

Floralnomad · 30/09/2015 13:13

I don't think your colleague was saying it was the same ,she was just saying that she also feels tired as do probably half the people you will meet today for one reason or another .

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 30/09/2015 13:14

No of courses it's not the same. But she was only mentioning she's having to adjust to something too.

CalonDu · 30/09/2015 13:14

It's not. Of course it's not.

BUT, if colleagues who don't have children can only say, 'Oh, really? I have no idea how that must feel, how interesting!' to every single child-related observation made by parents, it would quickly become very dull for everyone. Maybe she was being 'light-hearted' too? You were commenting on how knackered you are, she was sympathising because she felt knackered too - you're both adjusting to new circumstances, albeit very different ones!

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 30/09/2015 13:15

If that is what was said it doesn't sound to me like they were comparing having a baby and having a dog at all. Merely saying they are now getting up earlier than they were used to and attempting to empathise with you.

You sound over sensitive on this - but understandably if you are chronically sleep deprived

MajesticWhine · 30/09/2015 13:16

sounds like she was just chatting you know, trying to find some common ground?

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 30/09/2015 13:17

My adult dog gets me up at least once if not twice a night. Seeing as dd was a good sleeper im more knackered by having a dog.

Theycallmemellowjello · 30/09/2015 13:17

You're overthinking it (due to sleep deprivation??). Your colleague was relating their own experience of disrupted sleep in response to yours, not saying that theirs was exactly the same.

Maroonie · 30/09/2015 13:18

And you don't get the tax credits for a dog

mileend2bermondsey · 30/09/2015 13:19

Oh FGS no of course YANBU. No one besides parents can possibly be tired and as for your friend trying to engage in what sounds like a boring and one sided conversation about something she has no experience, well she sounds like a twat. I'd ditch her if I were you.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 30/09/2015 13:23

I can sense that you are very tired at the moment, but don't become 'that person' - the whole 'you don't know tired/stress/love until your a parent, therefore cannot comment or compare any of these things' is very irritating to hear sometimes. I say this as someone who has both suffered insomnia and been an owner of an elderly dog who had me up in the night. At least babies don't need to be let outside at 3am in the middle of winter, to be fair! She was only trying to relate, it's not always about how much sleep you lose - losing any, or having to readjust your pattern of sleep, has an effect on anyone, regardless of the reasons.

Original poster

Allyoucaneat · 30/09/2015 13:25

OK I concede maybe aibu.

A 7:30 start and a full night's sleep is the stuff dreams are made of for me right now. I just couldn't understand how she can complain about that.

OP posts:

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 30/09/2015 13:25

You're not your..... and whatever else I got wrong in that last post. Snoring partner, I'm tired .

KourtneyK · 30/09/2015 13:26

YANBU but she was probably only making conversation. I make lighthearted comparisons between parenting and dog ownership all the time.

patienceisvirtuous · 30/09/2015 13:27

Yanbu, she's a terrible person for responding to your 'lighthearted chat' and relating (not comparing) her circumstances.

It's called conversation OP, and you are not more important than her.

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 30/09/2015 13:27

There are similarities, but YANBU.
Sleep deprivation is sleep deprivation though, no matter what the reason.

chemenger · 30/09/2015 13:28

I have a geriatric cat that can howl inconsolably and earsplittingly for up to two hours in the night and at best wakes me at least twice a night, I can honestly say that, at its worst, the sleep deprivation is way beyond what either of my children put me through. I can empathise with any parent about tiredness without in anyway trying to diminish their misery.

Dachshund · 30/09/2015 13:29

I think they can be a sort of pre-cursor to parenthood in a lot of ways. You can't just go on holiday, or pop into a restaurant when you're out and about, etc. They're definitely more of a responsibility than the average cat! I think they are quite good as a starting point to see if you are capable of putting another's needs before your own.

That said, they are much easier than babies and they can't ever grow up and start to answer back or find you embarrassing!

insanityscatching · 30/09/2015 13:33

No it's not the same though for me all five of my babies were far easier than our one dog when he was a puppy.

m0therofdragons · 30/09/2015 13:37

Dd1 was a dreadful sleeper but my neighbour's labrador pups were worse to be honest as she got them the same time.

lotrben17 · 30/09/2015 13:48

My retriever makes more mess and is moodier than either dd! He also takes up more of the sofa :) he also goes to daycare though :) you're tired, people don't gpremember the bone wearing exhaustion and if they don't have kids they generally don't get it. Can you get a respite break from family?

BertrandRussell · 30/09/2015 13:51

I found having babies infinitely easier than having puppies.

BertrandRussell · 30/09/2015 13:52

Not literally, obviously- although the there was a woman in medieval France who apparantly gave birth to a litter of rabbits......

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