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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect someone to wait until dd is safely inside?

101 replies

Dancergirl · 29/09/2015 21:38

My 14 year old dd has been dropped home by two different people recently, one occasion was after her babysitting, the other was after a dance rehearsal.

On both occasions, the driver (who are both dads), drove off before I had opened the door to dd.

Not sure if I'm being precious, but surely it's good sense to wait until she's safely inside before driving away? If I was dropping someone home, I would make sure they got in ok even with an adult, let alone a child. AIBU?

OP posts:
ohtheholidays · 29/09/2015 21:53

I agree with you OP,we've always waited till who ever we were dropping off has got in children and adults alike.Just always seemed the right thing to do to us.

When I used to go out clubbing with my nieces and friends(nieces were adults at the time)those of us that lived closer to each other would all share a cab/minibus and I'd make sure I was the last one dropped off and my bestfriend would ring my mobile and wouldn't let me hang up until she knew I was in the house safely.

Our other friends that lived in the opposite direction to us I'd make sure that none of them were going into a cab alone and they'd always ring me straight away to let me know they'd got in safely.

I think it's just a really good idea safety wise.

sadwidow28 · 29/09/2015 21:55

I am another one who always waits to see door opened and safely inside (no matter what age).

grassisgreenersometimes · 29/09/2015 21:56

I am another one who always waits too, irrespective of age.

Madeyemoodysmum · 29/09/2015 21:57

This recently happened to my 9 year old I was not impressed!!!!

StealthPolarBear · 29/09/2015 21:58

I do it because it's polite and nice etc, in case they've forgotten key or been burgled etc but they're unlikely to be murdered on the short walk to the front door. Some people, me included, walk around after dark and don't get killed.

Wrcgirl · 29/09/2015 22:03

Id wait if traffic etc permitted.

TheExMotherInLaw · 29/09/2015 22:08

I'd wait, even with an adult - so easy to get home, and find their keys in your footwell, apart from anything else!

YellowDinosaur · 29/09/2015 22:08

I wait if im dropping a grown up off to see if they get in before I drive away!

^this

PacificDogwod · 29/09/2015 22:08

Yes, it would be the kind thing to wait, but not the crime of the century IMO.

I suppose it all depends where you live - is there a risk to her or just a perceived risk?

AMonsterInParis · 29/09/2015 22:09

I always wait too. I waited last week to check that my friend (who is 48) got in safely. It's just good manners IMHO. YANBU to expect people to check your daughter has got in safely, but unfortunately there are people who don't think that way.

whooshbangprettycolours · 29/09/2015 22:12

Wait

Pidapie · 29/09/2015 22:12

I always wait, including if it's an adult. Seems common sense to me, what if they can't get in!

Patchworkturtle · 29/09/2015 22:13

YANBU
I always thought it was just something everybody did. Even taxi drivers in my area wait to let you in. When I was about 19 and there was a murder the other side of my town, the driver of the cab actually escorted me and my mum from the taxi to the front door and knocked for my dad to answer.
It's the safest thing to wait surely?

BackforGood · 29/09/2015 22:14

I tend to, but I don't think it's a big thing that they didn't - particularly the one where she'd been babysitting, tbh. If she is responsible enough to babysit for my dc, I'd like to assume she's responsible enough not to go out without taking a key with her.

DoreenLethal · 29/09/2015 22:20

I'd like to assume she's responsible enough not to go out without taking a key with her

It's not a case of being responsible though is it? It's a case of safety.

DramaAlpaca · 29/09/2015 22:21

I always wait, whether it's an adult or a child.

Flingmoo · 29/09/2015 22:22

I'm installing it into my boys to wait for girlfriends as they grow up

Aww, that is so sweet. That reminds me, I have really fond memories of my my first 'proper' boyfriend age 17/18, if I didn't want to stay at his house, he'd walk me all the way home, nearly an hour walk, blew me a kiss as I went in to the house, then I'd go up to my room on the other side of the house and he'd be standing waiting at the top of the road, for me to appear safely at my bedroom window and wave him off as he disappered round the corner to walk the long walk home. If I ever stay at my parents' house now, and look out my bedroom window after dark, I can still picture his silhouette on the corner.

(He was a bit of a loser in some ways but that was totally sweet)

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 29/09/2015 22:22

No, I don't think you need to 'watch someone get to the door', after a certain age. In fact, at that age I was really hoping they would drive off, otherwise if my mother was home at the time, she may come out and actually try and talk to the person dropping me off. Just not cool.

Primary school age I can understand, but no need to watch anyone older opening their front door. I would find it a bit weird if my friend dropping me off just stared until I opened the front door, makes me feel as if I have done something wrong or they're trying to see how tidy my front room is. Unless they don't have a key and you're just making sure they got back in ok (and don't have to wait hours for someone to come home).

AlpacaLypse · 29/09/2015 22:27

I always wait until I see the person I have dropped go through their door. Male, female, young, old.

Very glad I do so, the other day a teenage friend of DD1 found that the key she expected to be under a flowerpot outside her house wasn't there. She was locked out until nearly 11. Not good on a rainy school night!

Gatehouse77 · 29/09/2015 22:38

I guess it's down to personal experience/preference.

I always do but that's because it's what I grew up with. But I know plenty of people who don't too. I suppose it just doesn't cross everyone's mind.

sproketmx · 29/09/2015 23:20

I think it's a bit precious. Why do you have to open the door to her? Is it not already open or if not does she not have a key?

MariaV0nTrapp · 29/09/2015 23:44

Mamushka my Dh used to do that with me too. He was 18 I was 16. He would walk almost to my house to meet me then walk me back to my front door of an evening he had a huge walk back too. The first time I met him I told him I only lived at the bottom of the road, I didn't want him walking me home incase he turned out to be a wrongun, but I lied and had to walk about half a mile past disused train lines that were poorly lit, very quiet and over grown. I was used to doing it but when he did see where I lived and realised that I'd walked it by myself late at night he went mad GrinI never did it again lol

grumpysquash · 29/09/2015 23:55

She's 14!!!!
What do you think will happen between the car and the front door?
Unless you live in an area where it is literally not safe in your own front garden, I would say YABU (sorry)

MillionToOneChances · 29/09/2015 23:58

I'd wait, being overly cautious by nature, but I wouldn't expect it of others. A babysitting client might reasonably feel that if she's old enough to be paid to look after their kids she's old enough to walk into her house. And the lift back from dance rehearsal sounds like a kind favour, and I'm guessing was at only 8:30pm?!

Why doesn't she carry her key, if she's worried, so she can get it out in the car and walk straight into the house?

Stillunexpected · 30/09/2015 00:07

Why wouldn't she have a key with her?

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