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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that if you're a nursery take takes 2 year olds

37 replies

Dinobab · 29/09/2015 07:17

And says they are "fine with changing nappies" that they shousnt complain because it apparently took 2 of them to change a nappy and "we have all the other children to watch so it was hard"
They also complained his concentration wasn't good that day because he didn't want to focus on the activity for a long time (baking) and kepy going off to play with the toys. he 2 ffs, as in just turned 2 last month.realy small nursery, 3 staff, 7ish kids and most kida are 3.5ish to 4 and DS is the youngest.
They also think he should only go 2 hours a day because of his age :S but they get paid for 3, hours a day and wrote his hours as 9-12 on the funding forms.
Aibu to think they should take 2 year olds if they're going to moan about nappy changing and short attention spans? They say his behaviour is usually good

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 29/09/2015 07:22

Yes it doesn't sound like they're geared up for him, and did you say there are no others his age?
Will they struggle with potty training as presumably most of the older ones are past that, he'll be the only one

Pobspits · 29/09/2015 07:23

Sounds normal behaviour for a 2 year old. I don't have experience of a 2yo in nursery though.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 29/09/2015 07:23

It sounds like your ds is in the wrong place.

megletthesecond · 29/09/2015 07:25

Sounds like a crap nursery! He's being a normal 2yo.

Sirzy · 29/09/2015 07:27

I would be looking for another setting.

Original poster
Dinobab · 29/09/2015 07:29

Its so frustrating,I'm doing a degree and I needed some time for studying whilst hes there but at the moment walking him to nursery, coming home for 1.5 hours then walking back is more of a hassle than helpful.
They also complained that he doesn't always share but the healyh visitor said that 2 year olds don't like to share.
He likes it there but they just don't seem to want to treat him like he's 2 and I feel sad for him if they're thinking badly of him for just being normal. Hes not perfect he has tantrums etc sometimes but he's 2!

OP posts:
OddBoots · 29/09/2015 07:30

Did they explain why it took two of them to change a nappy? That bit sounds odd to me.

The 2 hours bit sounds okay if they just mean for the first couple of weeks to settle him in if they genuinely believe it is for his own sake not because they want it.

Groovee · 29/09/2015 07:34

As someone who has worked in nursery for over 20 years, they sound like they don't know their job. The only time it's taken 2 of us to change a child was when it was a child with complex physical needs and needed lifting from his special chair on to the changing table in a special way! I'd look elsewhere! He's 2, he's there to learn through play. Constant moaning makes a parent feel awful and is unprofessional!

happystory · 29/09/2015 07:41

Just to be on their side a tiny bit, re the funding, they may be expecting him to do 3 hours very soon so that's what they've claimed for for the term. If he only ever does 2 hours they're being naughty (and council will take a dim view.)

But- I wouldn't expect a 2 year old to do anything but want to play with the toys esp at this early stage. So what if he wasn't interested in the baking? There's a huge difference between a 2 year old and a 4 year old they're twice his age!

happystory · 29/09/2015 07:44

And let's not forget that there has been huge pressure on local authorities to fund places for 2 year olds and nurseries do get more money for them....precisely because the ratios are higher and they need a different type of care.

mumofsnotbags · 29/09/2015 07:47

I too would look for another nursery, I swapped mine out of a nursery where he was the youngest, he just wasn't getting anything out of it as the activities where all aimed at the older children.

The next nursery I found let me choose the hours he did too which was a godsend as like you walking there and back was just wasting an hour each day.

He started doing his 15 hours over 3 days, so 9 till 1. meant he was fed, had his nap and id had 3 mornings a week to myself to get work done, when I picked him up I felt better and played with him a lot more. Could you look into other nurseries for him and especially where you can choose the hours.

starlight2007 · 29/09/2015 07:52

I am a childminder...Nothing you say suggests anything abnormal...The 2 people to change just sounds bizairre...Have you ever not managed to change his nappy on your own..

Yes I would be looking for another setting..Be aware of the notice you need to give though 4 weeks for funding but nursery may have other policies..

He will have a short attention span he's 2, He will only be expected to do side by side play.I think they are asking too much of him..How long has he been there?

GloGirl · 29/09/2015 07:53

YANBU at all, it sounds awful. As terrible as it sounds, they don't seem to like him, so I would look for somewhere else.

GloGirl · 29/09/2015 07:55

My 2 year old was a wilful bastard during nappy changed, and hated sharing.

I did switch to pull ups which worked better for us.

PennyHasNoSurname · 29/09/2015 07:56

Id look elsewhere.

If you have the 15 hours finding could you loo for somehwere (nursery or CM) who offers longer than 3 hours a day and do fewer days? That way you get a good chunk of study time?

WanderingTrolley1 · 29/09/2015 07:57

Nursery doesn't sound up to much.

Inlovewithflo · 29/09/2015 07:57

They cant complain about nappies, attention span and not dating. He's 2 years old!

kids at that age tend to parallel play as opposed to playing with each other anyway. I would get him moved to a different nursery.

They will be putting the extra hours down on his funding form to get the money.

wonkylegs · 29/09/2015 07:58

Sounds very odd. My DS was full time in nursery from 7mths to 4yrs and although he did go through the terrible twos they had no problem with it, it was just me who struggled to cope. They were experienced and calm. 2yos can be terrible at sharing and playing with others for longer than 5 mins, they have the attention span of a gnat and can be exhausting and wilful - all of this is normal 2yo behaviour.

Catsize · 29/09/2015 08:00

Move him. This is the stuff they are telling you - what else is going on?

TiggyD · 29/09/2015 08:03

Another nursery worker here. Terrible nursery. Move.

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 29/09/2015 08:04

They don't like your child. All the complaining about very normal 2yo traits is incredibly unprofessional. You'd expect a bit of a whinge if it was your teenage sister looking after your toddler, who was being a bit of a pain, but not a nursery. Really bizarre and I'm afraid, not a very good sign - get him out of there.

Ebb · 29/09/2015 08:12

They don't seem to have much of a clue about normal toddler behaviour! If he is only 'allowed' to go for 2hrs because they say he's too young but are claiming for 3hrs then you need to report them. Give Ofsted a ring. They sound crap. There are far better nurseries out there.

Tanith · 29/09/2015 08:15

Sounds to me like a preschool setting that has been pressured to take 2 year olds, but is not geared up for them.
I think we're going to see more and more of this as the Government pushes 2 year olds into structured education that they are not yet ready for.

Op, find yourself another setting - a decent childminder or a nursery experienced in caring for 2 year olds. He's evidently not ready for this one.

unlucky83 · 29/09/2015 08:40

I was going to say what Tanith was saying really. I think it sounds like they don't want to take him, the setting is more suitable to older children and at the moment it is an older peer group. And they aren't necessarily being selfish -thinking of the inconvenience to themselves. They might actually be thinking about your DS. They don't think he is a good fit - not that they don't like him or can't be bothered with him more it isn't the best environment for your DC. And maybe he is taking so much attention - needing more or less one to one - that the other DCs aren't getting as much attention as they should...what they fell they owe to other parents.
But in their contract for funding it says they have to take 2 yos if required - so they have to take him, they can't refuse if they have space. As for the shorter days that is probably short term, will increase as he becomes more settled and used to the routine.

This sounds like a preschool setting - one that normally just takes children in the preschool year - I would look at other nurseries more geared towards younger DCs...private ones that take a whole range of ages where he could be in a group with other 2 yos ....

sleeponeday · 29/09/2015 08:43

Please move him. No child should be somewhere where the staff resent them for being totally age-appropriate developmentally, purely because it's hard work. We've all seen mothers like that, and I sympathise with them a lot because children are hard work, they don't get a break, and nobody knows what it is like going in. But these people have chosen to do this job, and they're being paid for it! No excuse at all. Your poor little chap.

Definitely move him.