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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I hit my husband with a door in a perfectly reasonable fashion?

120 replies

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 21:02

Dh came into the kitchen/diner from the living room and decided to pour a glass of wine. Rather than walk around the bench he opts to lean over the table pushed against the bench from the dining room side, resulting in him standing directly in front of the main door into the kitchen from the hallway pouring his wine.

I came downstairs and walked into the kitchen and hit him with the door, thoroughly splashing him in red wine too.

He was disgruntled when I politely enquired

"What the bleeding fuck are standing in front of the door for?"

I maintain if you stand consciously directly in front of a door you should not be surprised and disgruntled if another family member opens the door, and that he should walk the extra four foot into the kitchen and pour wine like a normal person.

He maintains it is perfectly acceptable to take the shortest route and that the door opener should be more careful.

I maintain that he was justly hit by a door for being a dimwit and I am wholly unreasonable.

OP posts:
UntilTheCowsComeHome · 28/09/2015 23:12

Love this thread but totally love the diagram.

Poor skinny, green, baldy DH.

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 23:14

It was like this

OP posts:
Lweji · 28/09/2015 23:15

lweji Now you are BVU. You are not allowed to shut in / out a cat.
Your function is tin-opener and bodyservant.

Shhh, he's asleep on the rug and hasn't fully realised it.

You people must really stop closing doors. We have trouble even with the bathroom door, but then it's only DS and I at home.

And the cat.

Or put hazard signs on said doors.

To think I hit my husband with a door in a perfectly reasonable fashion?
FattyNinjaOwl · 28/09/2015 23:16

Hahahaha I love the strangling...I presume you were shaking him too? Grin

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 23:17

I so need that sign.

OP posts:
Vastra · 28/09/2015 23:19

HoneyDragon - IIRC you unleashed multi- hued spunk monkeys and now you have gifted us with highly evocative diagrams. On the other hand, your DH spilled wine. Can there really be a question over who is BU?!

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 28/09/2015 23:19

Poking yourself in the eye in the shed is bad but it could be worse....

Someone I worked with cut one of his fingers off in the shed with some sort of power implement/big wood saw. The cat ran off with it and he had to chase the cat to get his finger back.

He had major surgery to reattach it.

Two weeks later he did the same thing to the next finger!

PacificDogwod · 28/09/2015 23:19

You could get him this one?

HTH.

BigChocFrenzy · 28/09/2015 23:21

You drew your furious snarl quite brilliantly Grin
You shook and strangled him in a perfectly reasonable fashion too
(this post may be deleted)

PacificDogwod · 28/09/2015 23:21

Ah, your colleague needs this one WhoTheFuck

Gawd, I love google images

Lweji · 28/09/2015 23:21

Loving your mohawk hair.

Did he say that it was a mohican in addition to stabbing his eye with his finger?

BigChocFrenzy · 28/09/2015 23:25

Chasing his cat to get back his severed finger before it becomes lunch Grin
Thank you for that gem, Simon
I presume the repeat was sans cat, or had it acquired a partiality for fingers ?

Skullyton · 28/09/2015 23:27

but, but, where was the dog?

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 28/09/2015 23:28

I really should be asleep already not waking DH up by snorting with laughter and I need a wee. You're not helping. Grin

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 23:32

Actually I have misrepresented myself. The Mohawk is current, my hair at the time of the incident would still be rocking the Mumsnet Haircutâ„¢

OP posts:
BigChocFrenzy · 28/09/2015 23:32

That cat was caught on cctv again:

To think I hit my husband with a door in a perfectly reasonable fashion?
BlackeyedSusan · 28/09/2015 23:34

well we know what colour you would draw your baby in now don't we.

nice pictures by the way....

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 23:34

I cannot imagine trying to get your finger of a cat, especially as if they think your going to take something edible they try and choke it down whilst still running.

Which is really funny to watch tbh. Although probably less so if it's your finger.

OP posts:
radiohelen · 28/09/2015 23:44

Excellent infographic... YANBU.

He is deflecting the fact that HE SPILLED WINE!

HellKitty · 28/09/2015 23:58

I'm putting up with a man with man flu. Your amazing art makes me glad my DP isn't angry and green. Apart from his nose.

More drawings!

MrsJorahMormont · 29/09/2015 00:24

You need to do a gallery show, HoneyDragon. Fact. I would buy all the things :o

kungpopanda · 29/09/2015 01:07

Honeydragon, thank you. Have laughed myself silly. It is of course perfectly reasonable to hit one's husband with a door if he is lurking behind it in an invisible but arselike fashion.

Love 'arsebuckets', madly truly deeply love the diagram, and - basically - want to come and stay at yours as an observer or something.

Oooh, could they do MN Observers, like UN Observers and / or Peacekeepers, but with better berets? but what sort of berets exactly? That's a whole new thread

RaspberryOverload · 29/09/2015 03:24

HoneyDragon

This has been a laugh while I try to get back to sleep Grin

YAdefinitelyNBU

Senpai · 29/09/2015 03:37

YABU for having a door in the kitchen in the first place. How is everyone suppose to know dinner is close to ready if they can't smell it cooking?

On the other hand, the sofa seems like a novel idea. Grin

MythicalKings · 29/09/2015 06:54

He was doing something in the shed with wood

This never ends well.