To think I hit my husband with a door in a perfectly reasonable fashion?

[HoneyDragon]

Dh came into the kitchen/diner from the living room and decided to pour a glass of wine. Rather than walk around the bench he opts to lean over the table pushed against the bench from the dining room side, resulting in him standing directly in front of the main door into the kitchen from the hallway pouring his wine.

I came downstairs and walked into the kitchen and hit him with the door, thoroughly splashing him in red wine too.

He was disgruntled when I politely enquired

"What the bleeding fuck are standing in front of the door for?"

I maintain if you stand consciously directly in front of a door you should not be surprised and disgruntled if another family member opens the door, and that he should walk the extra four foot into the kitchen and pour wine like a normal person.

He maintains it is perfectly acceptable to take the shortest route and that the door opener should be more careful.

I maintain that he was justly hit by a door for being a dimwit and I am wholly unreasonable.

That is an amazing diagram!

YADDDDNBU! What kind of halfwit stands in front of a door then acts surprised when it's opened? Not one I'd trust with wine, that's for damn sure.

That diagram did make me chuckle thanks OP

Aw. Your DH is sad, green and bald in that diagram Honey. Serves him right for being a twat.

Not one I'd trust with wine, that's for damn sure

mumsnet keeping priorities straight since the year 2000

Well, YANBU (obviously!), but I can beat that: DH splashed me with boiling water tonight and apparently it was my fault for standing next to him while he overreacted to the pasta water over boiling so bashed it vigorously with a… …. fecking spatula .
I don't have the talent to draw a diagram, but, just for the record, hewasbeingunreasonble. My hand still hurts .

He is currently sad and bald. I did green 'cos it's his favourite colour.

He is a spatula fucker.

Incidentally how does hitting water stop it boiling?

Hahaha!

Yanbu, although I admire his efforts to get wine in the quickest way possible.

honey that diagram is awesome. Toothless looks like he agrees you were not the unreasonable one

pacific bash him with a spatula...I would.

Yeah, good question

We have frigging brilliant induction cooker - the second you turn the leccy down all bubbling stops. Stone dead.

But no, lets beat it with a wide, flat wooden implement instead.

The male brain is superior indeed.

Fatty, he wisely retreated

Actually thinking further ...isn't your dh a clever, very qualified professional like yourself PDog? Should he not know that battering water does not reduce heat?

So he tells me, Honey, I've never actually seen him work, it could all be a ruse….

Actually, DH is rather intelleginent (as DS4 would say), but likes a good crisis to be really, really dramatic, so just switching the pasta water off is Just Not Good Enough When There Could Be Much Shouting And Splashing. Basterd.

Love the diagram.

Love 'arsebuckets'.

Perfectly reasonable reaction

Ha, OP YANBU and that diagram is the bees knees! PMSL

Was the pasta better for the drama?

Also, and wildly off topic, your kitchen is lovely, Honey. I dream of having as many cupboards as that!

I'd expect amazing pasta after that.

Ach, pasta is pasta, innit?

Yes, your kitchen is lovely.
I'd love a sofa in my kitchen

I know! I'm of honeys kitchen

I really love my kitchen, I'm very lucky. Dh battering its doors with his body and chucking wine around it vexes me, mightily.

Post diagrammatic clarification Honey is perfectly reasonable.

Pacific no diagram required. YANBU. Perhaps buy a basic physics book for DH for Christmas..

I hope the sofa did not get stained by red , did it?

Oh, Anna, good idea