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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I hit my husband with a door in a perfectly reasonable fashion?

120 replies

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 21:02

Dh came into the kitchen/diner from the living room and decided to pour a glass of wine. Rather than walk around the bench he opts to lean over the table pushed against the bench from the dining room side, resulting in him standing directly in front of the main door into the kitchen from the hallway pouring his wine.

I came downstairs and walked into the kitchen and hit him with the door, thoroughly splashing him in red wine too.

He was disgruntled when I politely enquired

"What the bleeding fuck are standing in front of the door for?"

I maintain if you stand consciously directly in front of a door you should not be surprised and disgruntled if another family member opens the door, and that he should walk the extra four foot into the kitchen and pour wine like a normal person.

He maintains it is perfectly acceptable to take the shortest route and that the door opener should be more careful.

I maintain that he was justly hit by a door for being a dimwit and I am wholly unreasonable.

OP posts:
HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 22:31

It's ok, I have more than one throw.

The throw is to disguise the sofa. I stole it from my Mum.

OP posts:
PacificDogwod · 28/09/2015 22:32
Grin

Has your mum never noticed?!

You thief.

RainbowRoses · 28/09/2015 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sugar21 · 28/09/2015 22:41

Honeydragon and PDogwood
You have me in fits of laughter here and I am supposedtobeworking. My colleague from Estonia didn't get the humour, so I did a sort of impression of Mr PDogwood spatula bashing and then showed him the diagram. He has now wandered off shaking his head muttering something about women and wine.

BigChocFrenzy · 28/09/2015 22:42

You hit him in a very reasonable manner.
But you are married to a door-lurker and wine-spiller < sucks teeth >

I don’t think your DH is necessarily stupid. But he seems to have bad luck when thinking.

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 22:45

He's probably an Estonian Spatula Basher. There is a Mrs Estonian somewhere who has suffered the reaching over the iron, Inappropriate door standing and incompetent dramatic cheffing.

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HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 22:48

He has several patents, and actually quite clever.

Only yesterday I admired his cleverness in hanging his jeans in the hot press so they didn't get all creased making them easier to iron.

He builds me anything I desire.

Then goes and ruins it by standing in doorways or hospitalising himself through poking his eye with his finger Hmm

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FattyNinjaOwl · 28/09/2015 22:49

He ended up in hospital by poking himself in the eye?!

Lweji · 28/09/2015 22:50

Both of you are being unreasonable for closing the kitchen door. Mine is never closed, unless I want to keep the cat out of or in it.

But it was worth it just for the diagram.

sugar21 · 28/09/2015 22:52

Poor Mrs Estonian. I think she is still in Tallinn which I'm told is very nice. Her dh is prone to strange dancing at works do's
So maybe he will play bash the iron with a spatula whilst giving the nearest door a high kick at the Christmas spatfest

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 22:54

Yes.

He came in

I looked up and went

"Aaaargh wtf did you DO?!"

He went

"I poked my eye, it's quite sore does it look bad?"

Me omg what did you poke it with?

Dh "my finger"

Me

OP posts:
HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 22:54

And yes, being manly didn't work out, it started to ooze so he was despatched to the local hospital.

OP posts:
FattyNinjaOwl · 28/09/2015 22:58

But...why? Why did he poke himself in the eye? What the fuck made him think that would be a good idea?

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 23:01

He was doing something in the shed with wood, he over reacted when something small got in his eye and managed to plunge his finger in his eyeball. At least that's what he told me.

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BigChocFrenzy · 28/09/2015 23:02

Oozing eye < shudders > He'd better not patent that trick.

lweji Now you are BVU. You are not allowed to shut in / out a cat.
Your function is tin-opener and bodyservant.

FattyNinjaOwl · 28/09/2015 23:02

I'm giggling my head off here...not helped by the fact im imagining a green stick man poking himself in the eye!

BlackeyedSusan · 28/09/2015 23:03

has he not heard of safety specs?

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 23:04

Susan that is mostly what my ten minute rant was about

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BigChocFrenzy · 28/09/2015 23:04

So something flew into his eyeball and he thought jabbing his finger in as well would help.
Swallowed the spider to catch the fly ....

BlackeyedSusan · 28/09/2015 23:05

and why is it news to him that doors may open? (I am trying to teach dd that this may be a possibility, given that she has been launched several feet into a room by ds barging through doors at high speed it should not be a surprise to her either)

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 23:06

That song disturbs me. I can still sing it start to finish though.

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BigChocFrenzy · 28/09/2015 23:08

Well you know what to buy him for Xmas: a crash helmet for indoors and out.
I presume you've got him well-insured

Grapejuicerocks · 28/09/2015 23:09

Can we have another diagram depicting the eye poking incident please!

HoneyDragon · 28/09/2015 23:10

I didn't witness the eye poking. I'll see what I can do.

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BigChocFrenzy · 28/09/2015 23:11

ooh yes, with oozing, please