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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask how your child's first day at nursery was?

118 replies

Twinklestar2 · 27/09/2015 22:57

I'm returning to work in the next couple of weeks so my son goes starts nursery tomorrow, 8am-6pm! Gosh it feels like a long day and i'm so worried he won't sleep as he's not one to sleep outside the house, he likes his own cot.

How was your child's first day at nursery? Please reassure me! he's 13 months.

OP posts:

Thelushinthepub · 28/09/2015 10:05

*know much about the subject

Prettyeyedpiratesmile · 28/09/2015 10:21

sprocket I'm in Scotland, Glasgow to be precise and my DC went to nursery from 9 months and most of my friends did the same with their children .

Bumply · 28/09/2015 10:33

My boys went to nursery from 6 months as that's all I could afford to be off work for.
I picked nursery rather than childminder as the latter seemed to spend a large proportion of the day doing school drop offs and pick ups and I worried about backup if childminder was off sick.
Both boys settled in quickly. They were more the type to be grumpy at pick up as they were having such a good time.

sproketmx · 28/09/2015 10:33

I'm fife. Oakley. Didn't think nurseries would take wee ones that young. I dont know anyone that could afford a nanny but there's a childminder up the road from me who takes a couple really wee ones. It's just not the done thing here. Not something I've seen or heard of. Families or friends watch kids or folk work opposite shifts. Christ, 9 month? That's really young. No even walking properly at that age.

Thelushinthepub · 28/09/2015 10:59

I think that's quite old fashioned sproke and something chosen by people who don't have the money to afford nursery or a nanny. Most people I know have parents who also work full time and don't live locally. Shift work tends to be for unskilled work. No one I know would ever leave children with an unqualified unchecked "friend"

sproketmx · 28/09/2015 11:24

It's different here. My friends and me have all known each other since 3ish and grew up together. Folk round here can't afford nanny's and stuff like that and mums don't tend to work full time. I'm covering for my friend in the pub this weekend because her mum's on hol so she's no one for the kids if she works till 1am. That's just how things are done here and I think I'd ve suicidal if I has to leave any of mine that young. If its old fashioned il take it so long as I don't have to leave my kids

Thelushinthepub · 28/09/2015 11:25

Well as long as you don't judge others who do then that's up to you

jorahmormont · 28/09/2015 11:30

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all afford not to have to work full time/go back to study for a few years after our kids are born?

Your post seemed very judgmental sproket.

Thelushinthepub · 28/09/2015 11:36

It's also ridiculous to say you'd be suicidal if you had to leave your children in childcare.

sproketmx · 28/09/2015 11:45

I'm not judging. Just shocked. And we're skint but I've been scraping the barrel my whole life. Money's not that important in my life but family and friends are everything. You hear this stuff about childcare and free nursery places on the telly but I just assumed that was more moaning about the English system. Sort of similar to the arguments that break out about this reception thing that we don't have. I genuinely would be suicidal if I had to leave them that young tho. Longest I've ever left any of mine was 4 days in a row when the oldest ones dad took them to IoM tt. Hated it.i know I'm lucky to have my exes, their other half's and friends and family about if I need mine watched for a few hours but I genuinely didn't think nurseries took babies.

VimFuego101 · 28/09/2015 11:51

You sound ridiculous. If my son hadn't gone to nursery so that I could work, we wouldnt just be skinny, we'd be homeless. Maybe you should consider yourself lucky that you have a lot of help around you, and stop making those who don't have that help feel worse by claiming you'd be 'suicidal' at leaving your kids in a nursery.

VimFuego101 · 28/09/2015 11:51

*skint, not skinny!

Thelushinthepub · 28/09/2015 11:52

Nursery is FOR babies. I think there might be a misunderstanding- maybe you're thinking of the pre school type nurseries attached to schools which are only open a few hours a day? We're talking about a private day nursery. The ones you have to pay £1200 a month to

Money is more important to me I think. it took me a long time to qualify and get the experience in my job to be where I am today. Working behind a bar is the sort of thing I did at uni. I want my children to have the choices that money brings and a nice home and so on.

But honestly, I think you think being suicidal if away from your kids is a show of good mothering but it seems to me more like an inability to cope with much.

I'm just back from visiting a friend in hospital who was diagnosed with cancer whilst pregnant. Her baby was delivered at 30 weeks and is cared for by her parents as she has been in hospital for 10 months now. She has been away from her baby all that time. Life throws things at you and if a bit of nursery at 13 months makes you want to kill yourself i don't know how You'd cope with something serious.

sproketmx · 28/09/2015 11:58

I'm not claiming. I would be. I just recognise that I'm not cut out to be a working mum really. Doing one day a week is bad enough for me. If you read what I wrote I said I know I am lucky to have them but that's the way it's done here. I was actually sympathising. I can't imagine having to leave mine in a nursery before they're even one. I didn't realise they took kids in nursery that young, I thought nanny's are for posh folk and how the fuck can it be right in a supposedly developed country for a mum to have to leave her kids full time or be homeless?

jorahmormont · 28/09/2015 12:00

So you're shocked at kids going to nursery for a few hours a day, but not at your kids going away for four days to the Isle of Man? What's the difference? If anything I think I'd struggle more with being away from them for four days.

Money's not that important in my life but family and friends are everything.

When I can pay rent and bills with friendship, I'll agree with you.

Thelushinthepub · 28/09/2015 12:01

How the fuck can it be right in a developed country for women to be stuck in dead end jobs with no money because they have to look after the children? That's not much choice either is it?

Booboostwo · 28/09/2015 12:11

Babies go to nursery at 3mo here (France) because that's all the maternity leave you get for the first time - everyone copes.

My DS just started nursery at 12mo. The first week he cried a bit but just at drop off, he was Ok by the time I had walked to the door. Now he walks in all by himself, waving at everyone. He sleeps and eats fine there.

Oysterbabe · 28/09/2015 12:16

I'm pregnant with number 1 and will be trying for number 2 when it's 18 months. If I didn't put them into nursery I'd have to take 6 years out from my career at least, which would be career suicide in my fast moving industry. If I found anyone to employ me at all I'd be starting again on the bottom rung on shit pay, not to mention I'd have spent the previous 6 years in poverty surviving on one salary. It's better for our family for them to receive excellent care from a reputable nursery during the working day.
I will still have massive guilt though.

WhatstheT · 28/09/2015 12:18

DD started nursery at 8 months old. Her two taster hours were an hour of screaming and crying... I dreaded it!!

But when it came to her full days... she cried at drop off, but was fine all day, and when we turn up to pick her up, she's always playing, crawling, climbing, napping, and only turns on the tears once she sees we are there to pick her up!

She has better naps at nursery than at home, I was worried at first she wasn't eating or drinking much, but now she has meals and pudding, still drinks less milk than at home but I think it's because she's kept much busier than I can keep her! :)

Your little un will be fine :)

WhatstheT · 28/09/2015 12:20

sproketmx

Teladi · 28/09/2015 12:26

Sproketmx I'm in Scotland too but don't recognise the situation you describe at all. Goodness knows where you must live.

OP my DD started at nursery (3 days p/w) at 9mo. It was a bit of a rocky start but she is still at that nursery doing her pre-school there now. She loves it. A good nursery is worth its weight in gold. Hope it's all continuing well!

53rdAndBird · 28/09/2015 12:33

Sproket, what on earth do you think nurseries are like? Don't understand why you're fine with the idea of babies with childminders, but massively shocked at the idea of babies in nurseries.

Prettyeyedpiratesmile · 28/09/2015 12:42

sprocket I'm also in Scotland, Glasgow to be precise and it's not uncommon to send children to nursery from 6 months onwards. Also, children are only in until lunchtime for one week the it's full days.

sproketmx · 28/09/2015 12:47

Well in my kids nursery it's in the primary school and there's two nursery teachers for about 30 kids. I've got this picture in my head of wee babies in nursery like how they used to be taken away after you had them and folk stared at them through a window. A childminders like care at home not in a big place. I was bothered about the 4 days, but I couldn't say no coz he's their dad. And as I already said. I'm from fife. Not everything in scotland is glasgow

sproketmx · 28/09/2015 12:49

No ma thirds just started p1 this year n they had 3 week half days. Your LA must be different

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