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AIBU?

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Is it cos he's French?! Pissed off when he cancels a date without rescheduling

66 replies

Tulip1011 · 27/09/2015 11:52

Hello, gonna air this one... I met a guy (French in case that makes a difference) 3 months ago and we have had in total 8 dates. I was on holiday, he on holiday, both have demanding jobs and social lives. I am getting to the point where I'd like to see him a bit more than every 2 weeks. We both obviously like each other. We met on the Internet and have deleted dating apps (I suggested this last weekend) and are seeing each other exclusively.

Mainly I have waited for him to suggest dates. But the last two I suggested (I wanted something booked in to arrange my calendar). Both times now he has cancelled last minute without rescheduling - first was he didn't realise the rugby he was going to was in the evening (and forgot to tell me), second he had to go to Paris last minute with work. He still said to meet once he got back but in the end his meeting went on really long so we had to cancel.

No apology, no reschedule. He said he would have loved to see me but work busy, it will get quieter in a week.

So I haven't messaged him for over a day, thinking he should come to me and schedule something in right? Or am I blowing out of proportion and send him something cute so he thinks I'm not mad? Help :(

OP posts:
TheWitTank · 27/09/2015 11:56

Honestly? It sounds like he likes you, but isn't looking for any serious commitments. I wouldn't chase him to reschedule.

JammyGem · 27/09/2015 11:57

My DP is French and I never experienced this, nor know of any of his friends who are like this so don't think you can say it's because of that.

Truth be told, he sounds like he's not so into you to be honest, sorry. If he isn't rearranging and only deleted dating apps on your suggestion, I'd think maybe it's best if you move on.

lucidlady · 27/09/2015 11:58

I think you should leave it. If he's really into you, he'll be in touch.

Queenbean · 27/09/2015 12:00

I'm really sorry but... "If he acts like he isn't in to you, he just isn't in to you"

Cut your losses and move on

ilovesooty · 27/09/2015 12:00

Because he's French? Are you serious?
No, he's evidently not as keen on you as you are on him.

Waltermittythesequel · 27/09/2015 12:00

Sounds like you're the one pushing this and he's just not that into you. Sorry.

shutupanddance · 27/09/2015 12:01

Seriously, drop like a hot rock. Hes not that into you.

Justaboy · 27/09/2015 12:02

Red flag there it's Rugby! No woman can compete with that;!.

Paris eh?, not up to the olde Cinq à sept already;?.

MillionToOneChances · 27/09/2015 12:03

I don't know. My best friend is like this. He loves me, he loves seeing me, but if I don't suggest meeting up he gets caught up in day to day stuff and he doesn't suggest meeting up. I know his girlfriends have the same problem, I've seen their rants. I think this is an unusual way to be, though.

On the face of it this sounds like 'he's just not that into you', but I wouldn't necessarily write it off.

Tulip1011 · 27/09/2015 12:03

But he sends me cute messages each day :-S

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WorraLiberty · 27/09/2015 12:05

"Is it because he's French?"

Grin Grin Grin

No, it sounds like he just doesn't have time for dating or he can't be arsed.

Tulip1011 · 27/09/2015 12:05

Although, to be fair, nothing was sent yesterday... Hmm ok I'll just leave it and see if he returns. I didn't want to come across as a stressy cow when it wasn't his fault to cancel that's all.

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 27/09/2015 12:05

Just let him suggest the next meeting. Don't push it. If nothing more has happened in a couple of weeks, tell him you're rescinding your offer to delete the apps.

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 27/09/2015 12:06

Of course he sends you messages he is keeping you hanging on

If he was really into you he would be seeing you it's that simple

Queenbean · 27/09/2015 12:08

i didn't want to come across as a stressy cow when it wasn't his fault to cancel that's all.

If he really wanted to see you, he wouldn't have cancelled. He would have rescheduled.

Oysterbabe · 27/09/2015 12:12

I concur with everyone else, he's not really interested.
I experienced this a few times in my dating days. Don't contact him again, move on.

ilovesooty · 27/09/2015 12:13

"Cute messages"? Vom.
They don't take any actual effort though do they?
If he were at all interested in you and progressing the relationship he'd arrange to see you. He isn't so he hasn't.

horsewalksintoabar · 27/09/2015 12:16

It's not because he's French... it's because you're the bit on the side. Can't you see it? Either that or he's not into this going anywhere. Either way, it doesn't matter. He's a time bandit. Stop flogging a dead horse.

Tulip1011 · 27/09/2015 12:17

Ok it's just very confusing as he made a big point of telling me he's not seeing anyone else

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WhoTheFIsJeff · 27/09/2015 12:20

Leave it, I wouldn't contact him I'd leave him to contact you.

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 27/09/2015 12:21

Judge people on their actions not just by what they say

When you like someone that is difficult as we want them to feel the same way and will often excuse, ignore or read something into crap behaviour that is not there. If a friend of yours was telling you this story I am sure you would be telling her move on you deserve better

patienceisvirtuous · 27/09/2015 12:22

Actions speak much louder than words. Leave him to it now, you want someone who makes an effort to be with you.

Starkswillriseagain · 27/09/2015 12:24

It's not because he's French, it's because he's not that interested. He may like the flirting and banter and texting fun but he's not so much into the action of actually dating.

Don't wait around for him and turn down others or stop looking around. Knock it on the head, though I expect suddenly he might get interested if you start ignoring. Some people like the chase, then when they have it they blow cold.

Tulip1011 · 27/09/2015 12:28

Ok but to move on I need the dating apps back - awkward - how long do I wait?! Or do I tell him I'm going back on them? Errr

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EnthusiasmDisturbed · 27/09/2015 12:30

When you feel ready

And no you do not owe him an explanation

Maybe a little more inner confidence this seems to have knocked you a little have you been single long ?