To think you can have a perfectly happy life as a single person

[parrotsummer]

I don't want to derail another thread, but this is not a thread about a thread as such, though of course I am thinking about it as my basis for this one.

If your spouse or partner died or left you, and you happened to find someone who you wanted to share your life with, I think that's wonderful and I am fully supportive.

However the flipside to this appears to be that the alternative is misery - 'I wanted to find happiness again/I don't want to be in the grave with him/her/I want to live my life to the full.'

If you don't happen to meet someone else you want to spend your life with or have no interest in meeting someone - does this equate in people's minds to unhappiness for the rest of their lives?

Interested to hear your thoughts.

If for some reason dh left me, death or divorce I wouldn't want to be with anyone else.

It wouldn't be fair on the new man, as I have only ever been with DH. Dh has certain way of doing things and I would be constantly be comparing him to dh.

I haven't seen the other thread but a variation on this often comes up on the relationships topic

I think for me I am happy being single these past almost six years and have been surprised to discover overall far more content and emotionally stable than any other time in life so far.

However I do think it's partly because prior to my divorce at 44 years old I had always been with a man and then in a longish marriage and had two children. In other words I had done all that , I have spent years feeling the ill effects of being in a relationship along side the benefits. I have my children and had the big love of my life thing getting married and now that part of my life has changed and I'm different too not needing the validation I'm a good person from a man.

When we were splitting up I was really worried about being single, would I ever meet anyone etc. Through the initial blood and gore of divorce I stopped thinking about it and by the time that ended I realised actually life was rather nice doing as I pleased. I don't think this thread is about extolling the virtues of being single per se but for me on a day to day basis it's far superior to any relationship I've been in.

I do,agree though there's one drawback - holidays . I've done a couple of DC orientated ones but not had the oomph to do anything by myself !

Saying all that I had three couples for dinner from my close friendship group and the way my best friends husband of 20 odd years looks at her still well I felt a pang of envy. I perceive them as the exception though...

They haven't been on line and seen the line up of much older, much fatter, scruffily dressed weirdos whose opening line is ''wanna go camping this weekend or are you like the rest of the boring nuns on here?''

OLD will make you want to join a nunnery. True fact.

Not really wanting to get into the argument/disagreement side of things.

I think I'd be quite happy single as it is I haven't been for the last 13 years but if he died/we split up I definitely don't think I would choose to marry or live with anyone again.

I would be open to having a partner for meals holidays sex etc if he/she had their own place and I didn't have to see them everyday but I'd be just as happy single too.