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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naming my baby's the same as my cousin's baby

70 replies

Piglet333 · 27/09/2015 07:41

My cousin had a baby back in February (the same month I fell pregnant) and named her baby 'George' (not really the name but very traditional like George and I don't want to 'out' myself). Now George is the 'Family' name, there are lots of cousins and Uncles etc with this as a first name or middle name. It also happens to be the only boys name that me and DH can agree on that we love and was on our list before we got pregnant. Despite hours looking at name books and websites etc, it's still the only name we really love. I'm not overly close to my cousin but she's been really helpful throughout my pregnancy with advice via email etc and she is really lovely (she's a 2nd cousin - just for info) so I'm not sure if it would be rude to name our baby 'George'? Would it be weird? AIBU? Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Onthepigsback · 27/09/2015 07:44

How often will you see this baby? We picked a second cousins little boys name without even thinking of him but see that family at extended family gatherings maybe twice a year. It was no big deal at all but if they were going to be together once a month, I probably wouldn't have.

lastqueenofscotland · 27/09/2015 07:45

Depends how close you are. We have a megaton of a certain name in our family due to a particuarly charismatic no longer with us relative. No one gets upset when someone else wants to name a dc after them.

Original poster
Piglet333 · 27/09/2015 07:46

It would probably be once a year at most. However, I just don't want her to feel like I've 'stolen' the name, given that she's been so helpful and supportive. On the other hand I love the name so much I don't like the thought of not using it!

OP posts:
AsTimeGoesBy · 27/09/2015 07:46

Might be confusing if they will have the same surname, otherwise I'd say fine, especially as it's a family name. They might get called Big George and Little George or similar by family though.

gobbin · 27/09/2015 07:48

If you want to name your baby 'George' then do it. Nobody has exclusive rights to a baby name and I don't get why people think it's either wrong or insensitive to give your child the same name as someone else (family or not) at the same time.

lazycoo · 27/09/2015 07:48

I actually think it's fine if its first cousins and it's a family name. Even if you lived across the road from each other. Whilst George isn't a name with lots of NNs that I can think of, it's v v common to have names like 'big george', 'little George' to distinguish. Only thing to watch out for is any wrath coming your way from the first George's parents but nobody really believes they 'own' a name, surely...?

BumWad · 27/09/2015 07:48

Name your baby what you want I have lots of cousins with same first names it really doesn't matter!

anothernumberone · 27/09/2015 07:51

How could she object when essentially she stole it first. Tell her you have always wanted to use it to keep the tradition alive and then do. My sister had the same issue when herself and my cousin were pregnant. She always wanted a particular classic name DCous picked the same one do the girls have the same name.

Spartans · 27/09/2015 07:54

I don't think it matters. Everyone of my male cousins have the same middle name and 2 cousins have the same first name as well.

The two cousins causes problems because they have the same first, middle and surname and live in the same area. One went off the rails for a few years and it wasn't entirely uncommon for the police to get the two confused. It also happened with a job, think the company looked him up on Social media or something.

StompyFreckles · 27/09/2015 07:54

I think your cousin would be bothered by this. Some friends of ours named their baby the same name as ours, and although nothing was said by us, it was commented on by others and I'm not overly happy that the girls share a name! Could you use 'George' as a middle name?

AsTimeGoesBy · 27/09/2015 08:19

I'd be flattered if a cousin or friend chose the same name as one of my DCs.

Hackedabove · 27/09/2015 08:20

My cousin named their DS2 the same name as my DS1, it's spelt differently and we hardly ever see them, so not weird at all in our case.

FIL thought it was odd DS1 has the same first and surname as one of his cousins, distant relative in my eyes, I've only met him once at a funeral. His concerns were dismissed.

If you like it use it.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 27/09/2015 08:21

I'm about to name my imminently-to-be-born baby something rather unusual (I doubt there will be another in this town or even in this state this year) and I can't say I would bat an eyelid if a friend of family member used the same name further down the line. I know not everyone feels like this, though, so while I think YANBU, it might be worth mentioning it to your cousin first and checking she's OK with it, just for politeness' sake.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 27/09/2015 08:22

(I should add it is a proper and traditional name! Just not well known here and the closest variant is a bit out of fashion)

Joskar · 27/09/2015 08:23

I have two first cousins who share my paternal grandfather's name. My brother and our first cousin share my maternal grandfather's name.

The only way it would be odd would be if it was a very unusual name. George is hugely popular and a classic.

I was at school with five brothers and two of them were called Donald. Named for different grandfathers. No jokes. True story.

Original poster
Piglet333 · 27/09/2015 08:24

Thanks for the comments everyone, you've made me feel much better. Our surnames are different so hopefully there shouldn't be too much confusion. The only reason we're not considering it as a middle name is because we can't find a name we like better to use as a first name. Plan is to use 'George' as first name (family name from my side) and have DHs Dad's middle name as a middle name for our DS, thereby covering both sides of family.

OP posts:
Tiggy78 · 27/09/2015 08:25

My uncle names his ds the same name as my brother. We were all a bit Hmm at first more because my poor granny now had two grandsons with the exact same name (first and last) They live in a different country though and rarely meet up.

Tiggy78 · 27/09/2015 08:26

Hit post too soon - I'd use the name

Spectre8 · 27/09/2015 08:27

I find this ridiculous to be honest if you want to call your baby 'George' then do it who cares if there is another in the family with the same first name and if people in the family make comments that I'd find it really sad that they have nothing better to do than bitch/ make negative comments over a name.

Why do people waste time worrying/fretting over such insignificant things - baffles me sometimes.

BestIsWestOfGallifrey · 27/09/2015 08:28

I think it's fine, I have first cousins who did this and they share the same surname. What's more, DS's middle name was used by them both as a middle name.

poocatcherchampion · 27/09/2015 08:28

I'd use the name but tell the nice cousin first and say that you hope it is alright. (Don't ask her though)

Fratelli · 27/09/2015 08:31

Even if you're close with them it's fine. You like the name and that's all that matters

Helpmeoutofthemaze · 27/09/2015 08:32

I have 2 kids. Cousin #1 has a dc named the same as one of my dc. Cousin #2 has a dc named the same as my other dc Grin.

Both names are common names which have been used in our family.

It's fine, the kids actually think it's cool (well 3 of them, the other is a baby!)

Pranmasghost · 27/09/2015 08:34

I too have first cousins with the same name. As far as I know it was never a problem. One was named for her paternal grandmother and the other because the parents liked the name. When talking about them they were referred to by their name plus surname. They were very close in age, one's mum was the sister of the other's dad (my mum's siblings).

Notso · 27/09/2015 08:50

I wouldn't. We ruled out a lot of names we liked because we knew people with those names.
There are so many names to choose from we felt there was no need to use the same one.
However all our four DC names have been used by friends or family and we didn't mind at all.