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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Naming my baby's the same as my cousin's baby

70 replies

Piglet333 · 27/09/2015 07:41

My cousin had a baby back in February (the same month I fell pregnant) and named her baby 'George' (not really the name but very traditional like George and I don't want to 'out' myself). Now George is the 'Family' name, there are lots of cousins and Uncles etc with this as a first name or middle name. It also happens to be the only boys name that me and DH can agree on that we love and was on our list before we got pregnant. Despite hours looking at name books and websites etc, it's still the only name we really love. I'm not overly close to my cousin but she's been really helpful throughout my pregnancy with advice via email etc and she is really lovely (she's a 2nd cousin - just for info) so I'm not sure if it would be rude to name our baby 'George'? Would it be weird? AIBU? Thanks in advance!

OP posts:

Senpai · 28/09/2015 05:47

You know your cousin better than we would, could you just mention it and put a positive spin on it? "George is a such a wonderful name, I'm naming my baby it too, I love we're keeping the family name alive".

Would upsetting her ruin the name for you? If not, I'd just do it and break it to her like any other piece of good news. She'll get over it.

I would be a bit if someone copied DD's name, but everyone in our family has a different name. We'd all find it a bit odd if names were copied like that. It wouldn't stop me from adoring the new baby though.

charlestonchaplin · 28/09/2015 06:43

If you don't care what your cousin thinks then use the name.

If you do care what your cousin thinks then discuss it with her or use a different name.

I don't see how starting a thread on Mumsnet helps. Even if everyone on Mumsnet says it's fine, that doesn't mean your cousin won't be upset.

Original poster

Piglet333 · 28/09/2015 07:09

charlestonchaplin thanks for your comment. I started a thread to see whether I was being too neurotic about this issue, as my DH thinks I am. It's nice to get unbiased, outside opinion sometimes and also how to approach the subject with her.

I appreciate everyone's input and it's really helped. I've mentioned to my cousin what a lovely name it is and how we are thinking of using it too, so now hopefully if/when we do, she will already be aware and not too offended (if that's how she does feel).

Thanks again everyone.

OP posts:

zoemaguire · 29/09/2015 13:10

There are two sets of cousins' children with the same name (including one of ours) - i.e. say two Georges and two Jacks. The only people funnily enough who thought it was weird were our own parents. All the cousins themselves were totally fine about it. In fact personally I'd find it flattering that somebody wanted to name their baby the same name as ours - it confirms our good taste:) - though as it happens we were second rather than first to use the name! Go for it, really.

madmotherof2 · 29/09/2015 13:16

Id use it!

Slightly different situation but I gave my eldest the same name as my brother. Not named after him (we aren't close) but it was a name I've always loved.

Ds' version is spelt differently, however he has my maiden name so we have two people in our family with exactly the same name!

MrsHathaway · 29/09/2015 13:36

I have the same name as my nearly-same-age cousin (my dad's cousin's daughter) and we saw each other maybe once a year. When we were together we were known by middle names (eg Sally Anne and Sally Ruth) but it was not an issue at all.

And ours isn't otherwise a family name at all.

Go for it!

lotsoffunandgames · 29/09/2015 14:45

I think you should call it whatever you want.my brother named his two girls the same name as my cousin and another cousins baby.

Wordsmith · 29/09/2015 14:56

I gave my first son the same name as our next door neighbour, who was born 6 months before him. When he was born and his mum told me his name, I thought 'oops, that's the one we've chosen too', but I was convinced it wouldn't be a problem as I was sure mine would be a girl. Shows what I know. It hasn't been a problem, even though they played together quite a lot when they were little. To add to the confusion, the eldest son of the next door neighbours on the other side or us also has the same name. Although he is about 10 years older.

My grandfather was born in the 1880s and was one of nine children. A couple of them died in infancy (a fairly common occurrence in those days) and the next one that came along was given the same name as the recently deceased. There were two Thomases and two Carolines.

In short, I wouldn't worry about it from a confusion point of view, which is the only thing that could possibly make it difficult.

LittleRedSparke · 29/09/2015 15:09

I really don't get the 'owning' a name business, you dont own a name, you might like it and might think you're the first to use it, but you're probably not, and someone else got there first!

Just because you don't personally know someone with the name you have chosen, doesn't mean no one else has it or can use it

Call your child what you want to call it, and stop worrying about what other people call theirs.

fairgroundsnack · 29/09/2015 15:19

My second cousin did in fact call her son George (not "George" but actually George...) when I already had a 4 year old George. Not an issue at all, I though it was lovely that she liked the same name I did. At family gatherings they are Big George and Little George.

teatowel · 29/09/2015 15:54

I wouldn't use it. I would never fall out about something as daft as a name -but I would wonder why a reasonably close family member chose the same name for their baby as mine when they are so close in age. My cousins child has a name I love, but it was off my list as soon as I learned he had been given it. There are so many names to choose from and your baby's name will soon become his and you won't be able to imagine him as anything else.

liquidrevolution · 29/09/2015 16:20

I share the same name as my cousin. My Dsis the same as another cousin. In fact its kind of a tradition in my family we have a total of 7 doubles and more amongst the extended family. I like it and my cousin is my best friend.

Just mention it to her first if you are worried.

Babbafish · 29/09/2015 17:15

In my hubby's family ... His aunt had a grandchild (from daughter) called Ben... He is now 13 and last year she had another grandchild (from her son) ... They called him Ben. Now at all family get togethers there is Big Ben and little Ben!
I would go crazy if my brother called his child the same name as mine.... Especially as I chose the name 13 years ago!!! My cousin through ... I'd not be that bothered ... Especially as I rarely see them!!!!

2rebecca · 29/09/2015 17:45

I think it's a bit odd if you are close to your siblings. I only have 3 female cousins and 2 male so if one of them had the sme name it would be a bit weird and confusing for grandparents who will have to do the big George little George thing.
As the second kid in the family with the name it doesn't make you seem very special or unique either. You're just George number 2.
My kids just have 4 cousins so 2 of them having the same name would seem unimaginative.
I had my kids first and wouldn't have objected to cousins having the same name, just thought it odd as I would try and avoid the same name as a sibling/ one of my husband's siblings.
If you come from a huge family with 20 cousins then it would matter less.

2rebecca · 29/09/2015 17:47

Just saw it's your cousin's baby, I was thinking the children would be cousins. In that case i wouldn't worry as I rarely see my cousins now.

PegsPigs · 29/09/2015 18:13

I named my DD2 the same as my cousin's first DD but she's now 15 or so with both grandparents dead so hopefully no bother. Haven't seen her in 3 years so figured why not? I'd talk to your cousin about it if you're close. If you're not, do you really care enough?

101handbags · 30/09/2015 11:58

My sister's son has the same name as our cousin's son. My sister's son was born second (about 4 years apart) but has a family name (for us, not for my cousin). My cousin lives quite a long way away but we are in touch on facebook etc. It's simply never been an issue. I don't actually think anyone's ever mentioned it!

thelittleredhen · 30/09/2015 12:58

I called my son George and then when my cousin had a baby, they called their son George.

Just the case that we both have Georges - it is quite a popular name after all

Londonista123 · 30/09/2015 13:04

We have the opposite problem in my (European Jewish) family: it's seen as "wishing somebody dead" to name a new arrival after someone who is still alive, so we end up having to survey (enormous) families to make sure there isn't a George in sight.

On the other hand we traditionally name new arrivals after recently deceased relatives, so if you're stuck for names there's basically always one available

hellsbellsmelons · 30/09/2015 13:48

My DD has the same 1st name as her GM.
Her dad has the same (male version) as a middle name.
2 of her cousins have the name as a middle name.
I would never take offence.
It's a family name and is used a lot.
Nothing wrong with that.
Can you have a chat with her about it?

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