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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Naming my baby's the same as my cousin's baby

70 replies

Piglet333 · 27/09/2015 07:41

My cousin had a baby back in February (the same month I fell pregnant) and named her baby 'George' (not really the name but very traditional like George and I don't want to 'out' myself). Now George is the 'Family' name, there are lots of cousins and Uncles etc with this as a first name or middle name. It also happens to be the only boys name that me and DH can agree on that we love and was on our list before we got pregnant. Despite hours looking at name books and websites etc, it's still the only name we really love. I'm not overly close to my cousin but she's been really helpful throughout my pregnancy with advice via email etc and she is really lovely (she's a 2nd cousin - just for info) so I'm not sure if it would be rude to name our baby 'George'? Would it be weird? AIBU? Thanks in advance!

OP posts:

mollie123 · 27/09/2015 08:52

if she is your second cousin - does it really matter?
as others have said - no-one owns a name

Tulipblank · 27/09/2015 09:06

Totally fine. My brother and cousin have the same name (no family significance, just my mum and my aunts both liked it!) and my ds has the same name as my husband's cousin's son. No issues at all.

Ataraxy · 27/09/2015 09:11

My cousin chose the same name as my DS but as we never see them it doesn't matter at all. I was more when a pregnant girl from my small circle of mums announced that the names she had chosen for her DS2 were names I and another mum had used for our DS2s.

Yet in the end that didn't matter either. My DCs go to a different school and I rarely see her anyway.

Use the name you want.

HackerFucker22 · 27/09/2015 09:16

People on MN are weird about baby names. I hear "no one owns a name" a lot on these types of threads.

To me it's just about using a little common sense - how close are you to the parents and child? How often will you see them? What about actually asking the parents if they mind you using the name?

To me personally I don't like the idea of naming a child the same as another child they'll see very often. I know that no name is unique but as lovely as all my nephew's names are I would have dreamed of using them as they are similar ages to DS and he sees them all the time (I did however have my cousins name on my list for DD but haven't seen cousin in about 15 years!!).

HackerFucker22 · 27/09/2015 09:17

I wouldn't have used any of my nephew's names

Witchend · 27/09/2015 09:18

I think if it is a family name then no one's going to worry.

I think the times it is a bit funny if it's actual cousins, close on age and seeing each other a lot, and no particular reason for the name.

Dh has cousins who are both Paul. Just to ad to the confusion Paul1's brother married a girl by the sane name as Paul2's sister.
I don't think anyone was worried about it at any point.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 27/09/2015 09:28

I think it was very common a few generations ago, uncles cousins etc all.having the same name. Just seems old fashioned. Dsis1 named her son the boy version of dsis2 daughter ... she wasnt happy, but nothing she could do. Nobody bats an eyelid now. I have uncles cousins granddad with the same names. I chose different names.

cdtaylornats · 27/09/2015 09:41

Think of the genealogists!

Family names are both a pain and useful, some of my ancestors call the first son in a family Gavin, but when one had 11 kids that resulted in a next generation with 8 Gavin's (and one Gavinia but she must have hated her parents for that).

What I would suggest is giving him a middle name so they can be distinguished when discussing a family group. Scottish tradition would suggest your maiden name as a middle name, or your fathers name.

Rememberallball · 27/09/2015 09:45

My DH has the following relatives all with the same first name - granddad (fathers side), uncle (fathers side), brother (mothers side), cousin (fathers side), 2nd cousin (son of cousin) and brother in law.

At family events it is more a source of amusement than negativity - and we have great fun in coming up with ways of differentiating all the boys.

Have to say, though, it's not a name on our radar if we ever have a son!!

whatsagoodusername · 27/09/2015 09:50

DH's cousin named his first son the same name as our PFB. It's not a family name. I was a bit when I heard (same surname) but seeing as I've never even met them and don't expect to anytime soon, it's rather hard to get worked up about it.

Osolea · 27/09/2015 09:51

I think it's fine, but I agree with the poster that said you should tell the cousin first, without asking but in a nice and considerate way.

Even if she isn't completely happy with it at first, it's likely that she'll get over it quickly and within a month of the birth it will seem completely insignificant compared to how it feels now.

beaucoupdemojo · 27/09/2015 09:56

I think that if you were talking about an unusual name, that you wouldn't have thought of until they used it, then no you shouldn't use it.

But a name like George, which is a family name too, is okay to use. Like you said, it has always been on your list and numerous family members share the name. I would explain this to my cousin and would use the name.

Spidertracker · 27/09/2015 09:59

My second cousin's DD's middle name is the same as my DD's first name. I very much doubt they gave it a second thought when they named her. It is a very popular name.
I have never met her nor they my DD.

mollie123 · 27/09/2015 11:36

second cousins are the sort of family you may see at weddings, funerals and christenings and really are far enough distant not to mess up your family tree
I was at school with a second cousin who I did not know was a second cousin until my parents told me and no we never saw each other after we left school
realise not all extended families are the same as mine

gobbin · 27/09/2015 12:33

The child will more than likely turn up at school to find a few with the same name anyway. My parents called me an uncommon but not unusual name and I went through primary, secondary and sixth form college with different girls of the same name in my class. Hey ho!

MrsMook · 27/09/2015 12:42

DS has a family name. A cousin was named with it first, but we rarely see them.

If it's an unusual and distinctive name then that would be odd, but traditional names and especially family names where you accept that there will be others with the same name is fine.

MagicalMrsMistoffelees · 27/09/2015 13:09

Have you thought of Sam, Henry, Max, William, Jude, Toby, Oscar, Jack, James, Daniel, Harry?

summerainbow · 27/09/2015 13:10

You could always ask your cousin if she minds

sproketmx · 27/09/2015 22:34

It's fine to do that. I have cousins with my name because it's also a family name. Why does everyone think this is so taboo. My friend and me got pregnant 2 months apart and we both liked this one prison on tv and both called our boys the same name. They're in the same class at school nursery too. One of mine us called after his dad and his grandad and has a cousin a year younger so we just refer to them with big and wee before it but it's confusing if they're all in the garage and you shout one by just their name. 4 voices shouting back WAAAT at you

Siennasun · 27/09/2015 22:51

If it was me, I'd ask cousin if she minded.
She will mostly likely say it's fine, like pp have said, she doesn't own the name. Then you can use the name guilt free.
If she does say "no, it's my name, you can't have it" then you can say That you are going to use it anyway, for the reasons you've given in OP. You still get to use the name guilt free as she is the one being unreasonable.

TheExMotherInLaw · 28/09/2015 01:26

When choosing a name for our ds we came up with Evan as it is Welsh, easy to spell and pronounce. I have a cousin called Evan. At a massive gathering of far flung family a few years ago, we were each introducing our offspring. Apart from cousin Evan, there was my Evan, another cousin's son Evan, and yet another cousin's son Evan. We were all quite happy and rather amused by this. Go for it!

LisbethSalandersLaptop · 28/09/2015 02:02

I know first cousins with the same name - one is Andy and the other is Drew
Not a problem really if it is a traditional family name.

SiobhanSharpe · 28/09/2015 02:10

DH has the same first name as at least two of his cousins, (he does have loads of cousins, though) and as a couple of uncles as well. DS has the same first name and surname as another of the cousins (2nd cousin to him, I suppose). DH has a very large family in Ireland and it seems to be fairly standard there. DH and his cousins were fairly close as boys but were all called different variations of the name, eg Ed, Eddie, Ted, Ned etc.

AcrossthePond55 · 28/09/2015 02:21

On my dad's side, one cousin gave her 2 children the same names as the two youngest cousins. Not family names per se, she just like the names.

On Mum's side there were 4 males with the same name, an uncle and three cousins.

It's no big deal. I think this 'I own the name' thing is stupid.

LindyHemming · 28/09/2015 04:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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