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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep feeding these cats and letting them in my house?

45 replies

LavenderLedge · 26/09/2015 20:27

My neighbours have a very chaotic household full of a variety of animals, none of which are looked after properly. It's not a situation bad enough to warrant calling the RSPCA but it is bad enough that their cat has constantly been in my garden and getting in my house through catflap/open windows etc and eating my cats' food and snoozing.

I am a cat lover so didn't really object.

However, the family refuse to spay the cat and in the spring she had kittens on my bed. Now the cat and the kittens have taken up residence in my garden shed. They do not return home and when I carried them to the neighbours' house the other day (they had asked me if I'd seen their cats) the cats fought and ran and cowered. Within two days they were back, ravenously hungry.

I let them sleep in my house and eat my cats' food and I am really falling in love with them.

But they're not mine.

What should I do? The cats obviously do not want to go home, preferring my cold shed to their own home but I don't like being a cat thief!

OP posts:

TheImpracticalCat · 26/09/2015 20:32

Presumably if they can't be bothered to get their cats neutered they probably haven't had them microchipped either, so if you took the cat to a vet to be spayed they wouldn't know it wasn't your cat... I am not recommending this as it's probably illegal or something but I would be very tempted if I was in your position!

NameChange30 · 26/09/2015 20:38

You should get the cat spayed. The simplest is to take them to a vet yourself. But a cat rehoming charity might do it for free (or cheap) if you explain the situation.

What are you going to do with the kittens?

Original poster

LavenderLedge · 26/09/2015 20:48

I've told them that they can get the spay done for free and printed out info on how to go about it but they've ignored it. The local toms keep sniffing around her , just waiting for her to come into season again. There'll probably be more kittens on my bed soon!

Her current kittens are about 5 months old now so quite independent but they just will not go home. I felt sick after I took them round the other day and saw how they reacted; it was pure fear. I felt I'd betrayed them.

OP posts:

Muckogy · 26/09/2015 20:57

if i were you, i would get the cat spayed asap. and i mean within the few days. the cat could get pregnant again any day now. then you will have another set of kittens.
i would look start getting the kittens re-homed and maybe spayed too.
cats can get pregnant by the time they are 5 months old.

Muckogy · 26/09/2015 20:58

*within the next few days

Original poster

LavenderLedge · 26/09/2015 21:00

But they're not my cats - surely I can't just have them operated on?

OP posts:

NameChange30 · 26/09/2015 21:00

Yes you can.

Sighing · 26/09/2015 21:04

Take the cat to a charity if you wont do it yourself. Explain the cat/s keep appearing in your property and you are unable to support / take full responsibiliy for them. Report the owners for their negligence then hopefully there will be less semi feral pets in your area over time.

NameChange30 · 26/09/2015 21:44

If the kittens are already 5 months old this could quickly become a complete disaster. The females could get pregnant (by their brothers no less) and the mother could get pregnant again too. You need to stop this happening!

Original poster

LavenderLedge · 26/09/2015 21:56

I just wish they were mine; they'd have a happy life with me, full of love and with proper medical care :-(

Perhaps I should take them all to Cats Protection? But isn't that theft?

OP posts:

WhoseBadgerIsThis · 26/09/2015 21:58

Is it worth asking your neighbours is you could have the cat? If they hardly see her, maybe they'll be happy to pass her over to you? I hope so anyway, as it sounds like she would be much better off with you!

NameChange30 · 26/09/2015 22:02

I think you should let go of the idea that you've stolen the cats or would be stealing them if you looked after them. The neighbours neglected the mother cat and she basically adopted you. You tried to take her back but it didn't work. The kittens are a result of your neighbours' irresponsibility, but they don't belong to the neighbours. I would say that all the cats are basically strays now because they live in your shed, not in anyone's house, and because no one is taking responsibility for them.

In your position I would ask a cat rehoming charity to neuter and rehome the kittens (asap while they're still cute), and neuter the mother but return her (so the neighbours can't accuse you of "stealing" her).

NameChange30 · 26/09/2015 22:06

"I just wish they were mine"

How many cats do you have already, OP? How are they with more cats in their territory? (You said the mother cat comes in and eats their food.) Realistically could you add another cat or kitten to the household and keep them all happy?

Muckogy · 26/09/2015 22:16

you can get them spayed, without the owner's knowledge.
i would and i'd do it very soon. actually i wouldn't be at all surprised if the vet tells you that the cat is already pregnant again.
i would lie to the neighbours, if they challenged me about spaying and re-homing the cats, in the interests of the cats' welfare.
sometimes it's ok to lie, this is one of those instances.
i'd have no conscience about bare-faced lying in this particular situation because i hate seeing animals suffer.

Original poster

LavenderLedge · 26/09/2015 22:19

I have two cats and would LOVE to have this cat and her kittens too. They have a vicious dog that tried to attack the kittens a few times so, about two months ago, I offered to take them off their hands but was refused. They then got another dog.

When the cat first fell pregnant the father of the family locked her in a cage. It was only the pleading of the teenage daughter that made him relent and let her out. The cat came every day to my house for food and cuddles whilst pregnant.

They have a young lad who told me that when his mother was pregnant with his sister, they had a cat which jumped onto her belly so the father took the cat and threw it under the floorboards of the house where it starved to death. This could be a load of tosh but the man is a violent alcoholic so it wouldn't surprise me.

I currently have one of the kittens fast asleep in the crook of my knees and the other is snuggled on a blanket on my sofa. Not sure where mama is but she'll be in later.

This all just breaks my heart.

OP posts:

NameChange30 · 26/09/2015 22:21

And you say the way they treat their animals doesn't merit reporting to the RSPCA?!

NameChange30 · 26/09/2015 22:21

I don't know why you didn't take all the cats to cats protection a long time ago tbh

Muckogy · 26/09/2015 22:21

mama is probably out getting knocked up, if she isn't already.
sept/oct is prime time for second set kittens in females cycles.

Original poster

LavenderLedge · 26/09/2015 22:24

Because it's the word of a child and I have no proof.

OP posts:

NameChange30 · 26/09/2015 22:28

I think you're being irresponsible, you have basically adopted the cat and her kittens, since they're in your house all the time, but you haven't got them neutered.

carbolicsoaprocked · 26/09/2015 22:33

Please report to the RSPCA, there may be something they can do. If not, I might think about the mercy spaying option! Could you perhaps gradually adopt them? So not officially, but in real life? E.g. Get heaters in your shed, continue to feed them and give them cuddles? If they're ill offer to take them to the vet and pay for their treatment?

WhoseBadgerIsThis · 26/09/2015 22:36

Given your recent update, take the cats (get them neutered), and report the neighbours to the RSPCA - the dog incident and the thing the kid told you both warrant that. Good on you for keeping the cats safe and happy

hiddenhome2 · 26/09/2015 22:47

You can't get the cat spayed without the owners knowledge because the vet shaves a largish square of fur off at the incision site. They'd soon notice.

I'd get the cat neutered and keep it.

dodobookends · 26/09/2015 23:59

In my view, cats can't really be someone's property. They have the ability to decide where and with whom they live. The mother cat has clearly chosen to live with you, and to have her kittens in the safety of your house. Since the kittens were born on your property, then I can't see any problem here - as far as I can see that makes the kittens yours. She brought her kittens to you so that you could look after them.

Would the neighbour agree to hand over 'ownership' of the mother to you if you asked?

Amethyst24 · 27/09/2015 00:08

God, just take the cat (and kittens - they're about old enough now) to the vet and neuter the lot of them. What's your neighbour going to do about it? At least if they demand them back that's a few more homeless cats that won't be born.

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