Do you know any morbidly obese elderly people?

[manicinsomniac]

My mum is 60 and morbidly obese. Maybe super morbidly, I don't know. She has been hugely overweight my entire life but has got bigger over the past few years due to osteoarthritis meaning she doesn't walk much and possibly the death of my father (I don't ever notice any evidence of binge eating but I suppose she must do). She has high blood pressure but, afaik, no other health issues related to her weight.

But I'm still frightened. I can't recall ever seeing an old person who was very fat. My Dad died when I was 22 and I can't help being afraid I'll lose her relatively young too. I live a 4 hour drive away and every time she doesn't pick up the phone when I call I freak out. I haven't talked to her about it and probably won't - she must know her size and the risks and would probably feel worse about herself if I pointed it out.

Do you think this fear is unreasonable? Am I missing a load of very obese elderly people who are still out there living their lives?

Kevin, you can eat more healthily and with less fat and sugar and still enjoy your food. Most people who lose weight feel better for it.

My gran was morbidly obese, but she lived well into her eighties and died of a non-weight related issue. Your mum likely has many years left yet.

NB there are two issues

Middle age spread : as we get older, our calorie needs drop so if we eat the same we get fatter

Inactivity : it is possible with modern technology to get through the day using bugger all calories

• TV remote
• delivery food
• dishwasher
• clothes washer drier
• cleaner

- lifts

• aircon
• cars / taxis

Inactivity is the real killer .... keeping muscles strong allows even fat bodies to stay healthier longer

Yes Nicole that's how you feel. Again not everyone feels like you.
Eg you will never stop my father in lawe for a full fry up for his b'fast, one that he has had everyday for the last 50 years or so (he is over 70 now)

maybe you should all come back to say how you feel about it when you are 70 and feel that death is not far away anyway so how does it matter?

FWIW I'm not saying yu are all wrong and i haven't actually said how I personally feel about it. But talking to people that age and seeing my family around, I've leart that how I feel isn't how they feel.
It's not an issue of right or wrong or easy or difficult here. It's about their choice and their willingness to change life time habits and how hard they feel it is to do so.

Obesity was the 3rd cause on my great grandmother's death certificate but she still lived to her 80s.

Kate moss never said that !!

oh whatever
someone said it...or maybe they didn't but it's sometimes attributed to her

I just used it as an erm rhetorical device, to make a point y'know?

Yes, but possibly really it depends what you mean by morbidly obese.

I work as a Community Carer, so visit mainly housebound elderly people. The biggest lady I can think of off the top of my head is probably mid-50's & her health issues are related to her size. I have no idea what she weighs, but she wears a size 32 nightie. Another lady is early 70's and a similar size (although maybe a little smaller) and is reasonably healthy apart from having lost the ability to walk after a hip op.

I personally don't know of anyone quite that large in their 80's or 90's - although it is not impossible they exist obviously!

If you mean somebody who wears a size 20, 22 or 24 then yes, we have plenty of obese elderly (85+) clients.

I can also think of quite a few elderly obese men, although we do not know weights or BMIs of clients.

Suzanne
Daphne Guinness said it : and she is a scrawny socialite with no redeeming qualities other than inheriting enough money to buy unlimited small sizeclothes

in one place where I work there are a lot of elderly & v elderly patients
I'd say a lot of them are a size 20+

I think that people put on just a few lbs a year and then suddenly it is stones. Literally a few extra biscuits a week.
My mum is big and has a very normal diet - not as you might imagine. I think things sneak up on people and then it seems too much to tackle

Also it is worth remembering that the OP was initially about the fact that she was feeling afraid that her mum would die early because of her weight
What I read between the lines, is
I do NOT accept the fact that my mum might/will die
I want her to be alive for as long as possible
And that means she should lose weight for my sake.

There was thread on euthanasia recently and a lot of posters (inc someone who knows will die soon ish from a not very nice death) were saying how a lot of the interventions were done for the sake of the family members that rather heavily insisted on them rather than for the patients themselves.

And that seems to be the same here. Someone who is afraid of losing someone close and would like them to do all they can to be alive for as log as possible.
Even though we don't know how the OP's mum feels about it, her reasons for being overweight, etc etc
Maybe it's the idea that we should all live for as long as possible that we all need to review.

Kevin, that's awful. At 70 my mum was still working, helping me out with childcare, travelled to China and Australia on long haul holidays, attending her book club, doing charitable work, driving, singing in a choir, and managing her quarter of an acre garden. All of which she was able to do because she was in good health.

10 years on she is still doing most of those things and also watching her diet.

And Kevin, being really overweight doesn't necessarily mean you lose many years of life. Modern medicine is very good at saving people who've had strokes and heart attacks.

What you are much more likely to lose are years of healthy, independent life.

:-(

"t's not an issue of right or wrong or easy or difficult here. It's about their choice and their willingness to change life time habits and how hard they feel it is to do so."

Probably doesn't help being surrounded by people who typecast them as being an old dog who can't learn anything new, one who's staring into the grave with a biscuit in one hand and a copy of the TV schedule in the other.

There are people in their 70's and 80's studying for degrees, learning to play instruments, working as artists, doctors, scientists, teachers, carers for small children. I hope nobody ever writes me off as incapable of positive change because of my age.

My DM is extremely overweight but she's 75 (76 in Dec) and still cuts her hedge and more often than not the grass in her big sloping garden by herself. Her weight has damaged her knees though but she won't go to the doctor and TBH am not sure there is any point as she'll probably just be told they can't do anything until she's lost weight. It's a shame as apart from that she seems pretty fit.

My DM is 78 and has been obese all her life. She has a terrible quality of life. Awful athritis, can barely walk, in pain. This has been going on for years and years.It's so sad.