Do you know any morbidly obese elderly people?

[manicinsomniac]

My mum is 60 and morbidly obese. Maybe super morbidly, I don't know. She has been hugely overweight my entire life but has got bigger over the past few years due to osteoarthritis meaning she doesn't walk much and possibly the death of my father (I don't ever notice any evidence of binge eating but I suppose she must do). She has high blood pressure but, afaik, no other health issues related to her weight.

But I'm still frightened. I can't recall ever seeing an old person who was very fat. My Dad died when I was 22 and I can't help being afraid I'll lose her relatively young too. I live a 4 hour drive away and every time she doesn't pick up the phone when I call I freak out. I haven't talked to her about it and probably won't - she must know her size and the risks and would probably feel worse about herself if I pointed it out.

Do you think this fear is unreasonable? Am I missing a load of very obese elderly people who are still out there living their lives?

My Nan is 83 (nearly 84) and has always been overweight or obese. She's also very short, so she probably looks bigger than she is. I have no idea about weight, but she's about 5 foot 1 and a size 18-20 (I buy her clothes as presents for Christmas and Birthday).

She has had a double bypass in her 60's, but recovered well by taking more exercise like walking to the shops most days and being in her garden and things like that.

It is luck of the draw, I think.

My FIL has eaten himself into obesity and diabetes, he has congestive heart failure on top of it. He can only move with his electric wheel chair.

It wasn't until he ended up on deaths door that he realized "Oh shit, this is gonna kill me" and started working on his diet.

He's had a few close calls, but he's still here at 68 years old.

You'd be surprised at how resilient people can be.

My father was 70 this year and is obese, he has been since he thirties from my recollection as a child. For the last 15 years he's had all types of complications, type 2 diabetes, bladder issues, cellulitis, and has prostate cancer. I am constantly expecting a terrible phonecall and amazed that it he is still alive to be honest. I really understand your worry OP.

My MIL. Obese the last 40 years. She is 72.

She has all sorts of health problems though but is very strong which is what has keir her going.

I would have a very honest chat with your mum though. My MIL's quality of life is hugely impacted ??

it is down to quality of life as much as the immediate danger of early demise.

Modern medicine does a lot to help the morbidly obese but I cannot imagine being so obese that I could not do the things I can do as a 69 year old with a BMI of 23.
There is no necessary correlation between obesity and longevity - everyone is differant and even the superfit slim elderly person can succumb to cancer, stroke or accident - but in the meantime in their 60s they have a 'quality of life'

My nan was morbidly obese til about five years ago (shes in her mid seventies) she was up to a size 28 for most of my memory. Now her alzeimers is so bad that she forgets to eat, and shes suddenly really skinny :(

I am another who had a large grandmother. She died at 99, a size 24.

I have a similar experience than a lot of PP.
More or less all my grandparents were obese (at very least very overweight).
Two of them died in their 60s from cancer. One if them died when she was 90, about the same she than her own mother who was skinny.
The other us is well and alive at 96yo (live at home independently).

The one thing that was obvious with my gran is that being obese created some mobility problem for her (problem with hips, she had to have both replaced) and then when she was older, any help, like helping her to get up if she fell over was harder.
My grandfather who is still alive, was much more active, despite being quite heavy too, and I'm sure it made a difference to his quality if life (eg he is still At home whereas my gran had to move to a home a couple of years before her death).

I agree with you that obesity is one cause of ill health and earlier death. However, from my experience, 60yo is starting the be late in life to 'do anything you can to loose weight'. A lot if established habits that would be very hard to change.
Beside, seeing my parents, it's also a time when they start to think 'well I would rather enjoy my life and die earlier than restrict myself and be miserable'

It is never too late to make changes

There are several people at my gym who have lost significant amounts of weight and started exercise in their 60's and 70's

one lady is down 8 stone and plans to be able to do yoga tree pose for her 75th birthday

another lost 3 stone for her 70th so she can go down the slide head first with her grandchildren
her husband lost 4 stone and can as well

but is anyone who is morbidly obese to the point of suffering from bad joints, heart problems, diabetes and unable to be active 'enjoying life' no matter that they think they would be happier to die young as any other course would make them miserable. - have they tried to lose weight and found a new lease of life.
each minute/second of life is to be treasured and I cannot believe someone unable to be active, get out of bed can see it is 'not miserable'
however I am speaking from a differant perspective and would be miserable if someone tried to make me eat more and reduce my active life
horses for courses and all that

Of course you can change whatever your age but it is also true that there is a point in life when not everyone wants to do 'the right thing' and prefer to enjoy what they have now rather than still planning for the future.

In the same way, some people get more anxious and worried as they get older and want to do their best to 'protect' themselves as they get older. They are worried about the hip fractures etc...

I'm not saying one is right and the other is wrong. There are just two very different outlook on life.
But the OP's mum doesn't seem to be the type who would suddenly start a diet etc..
Whereas the OP might fall into that category.

What is very hard is to step back and aacknoledge that everyone has a right to live their life as they want even if yu don't think it's the best/right way to go about it.
7
So I, for example, have my dad saying he just wants to enjoy things now and doesn't really want to be careful about diet etc... His cholesterol is high but could easily be controlled with diet. He just refuses to do it and carries on eating whatever he wants (incl 3tsp of suggar in his coffee)
My mum on the other side is careful to exercise regularly, is careful about what she eats etc etc...

Two very different outlooks in life. And for now (both in their 70s) there is no difference between them in their health/quality of life.

But mollie it depends what you enjoy in life.

My gran had two hips operations and several abdoiminal surgeries (not related to her weight).
Yes she had mobility issues and had some well, tbh for as far as I can remember. She also has always recovered well from her surgeries when it could have knocked for 6.
But she enjoyed going out in town at her own slow pace. She enjoyed seeing friends. She enjoyed having family around and cooking meals.
Tbh she suffered much more form isolation as the years went by (friend died, family members of the same generation died, her DH, children went to live quite far away etc...) than from her restriction in her mobility.

I think a lot of older people are very stoic about their health because they simply have no choice. But watching what my in laws (whose illnesses are obesity related) have been through over the past ten years has made me determined to do everything I can to reduce the likelihood of it happening to me in old age. I compare their quality of life with that of my mother's and her friends, almost all of who are normal weight and very very active and engaged with life, despite being in their 80's. My inlaws have led a very restricted existence and while my FIL seems accepting of this, my MIL has gone through very deep depression.

The other thing - and sorry to raise this on the thread, is that in a country with a system of socialised medicine, I think people have a public duty to try to reduce their risk of serious ill-health by attempting to maintain a normal weight, stopping smoking, exercising and eating healthily. At present 1 in 4 adults is overweight, and that's going up. Of course there are obese and overweight people in good health at 70 or 80, but the bottom line is that 53% over obese men have hypertension as compared to only 20% of men of normal weight, and that translates into a lot of extra strokes and other life-changing illnesses, and illnesses which are hugely expensive to manage. £1 in £10 that's spent in the NHS is spent on diabetes related care. That is going to rocket as this current generation of very overweight 50 year olds reaches old age.

The figures are very, very scary. The number of admissions to hospital where the primary diagnosis is obesity is nine times as high as in 2002. The NHS isn't going to cope, and neither will social care services at the council. This current generation of pensioners are massively less overweight than the current generation of 50 year olds, one in three of whom is overweight.

Sorry - not meaning to have a rant, but we can't ignore this issue. I'm overweight myself and doing everything I can to lose weight.

my grandmother-in-law is pretty fat. Shes in her late 70s and is definitely still alive and happy, although it really affects her mobility

nicole
I agree with you
the healthier I am into old age, the lower that tax burden on my children
and the more fun I will have

I'm currently working on getting a disabled, vulnerable, mentally ill person rehomed for the rest of his life (he is 58) and its been a real eye opener for my kids to see how shit life can be for those without resources

This current generation of pensioners are massively less overweight than the current generation of 50 year olds, one in three of whom is overweight

I wonder if people would make different lifestyle choices if it became the case that health care was limited for people who don't keep their body fat below a certain threshold?

Obviously that would raise serious ethical issues but if NHS resources are limited some problems will have to receive inadequate treatment.

Which area's will suffer, will it be left to chance or will there be a policy to prioritize some over others?

although it really affects her mobility

and mobility is key isnt it?
If you're unable to keep up an active life there is a rapid downward spiral as your muscles waste, and all your organ functions decline

PILs, both in denial about their weight too. He had to lose weight for surgery a few years ago and she had major surgery, organ removal, 2 weeks ago. He is 82 and she celebrated her 80th this weekend.

I think the issue is much more complicated than that.
The meaning of 'a good quality of life' is much more complex than just 'you need not to be overweight/obese'.

To start with if being overweight/obese has an effect on health it is both immediate and long term. Yes losing weight would probably help some people move around more freely. But not others because their lack of mobility is coming from damaged knees/hips, a result of years and years of putting too much strain on their joints. Same with a lot of other illnesses. You don't suddenly because healthy wo any risk of developping x and y because you've suddenly lost 2 or 3 stones.

So yes they could lose weight and it might help or it might not. How much it will improve their quality of life will depend a lot on what sort of problem they have.

On the other side, there is a big price to pay to loose weight, change your eating/exercise habits, not being able to eat what gives you some pleasure. And losing that WILL affect the quality of life of that person too.

So if you put youself at the place of that person, making that choice of 'eating healthly and lose weight' and actually carrying on as it is isn't as obvious as it sounds.

And that's before even starting yet anpther thread on whether people who are overweight are just lazy people who eat junk food all day long (WE have loads of thoser already, maybe it's not necessary to start another one on that subject, nor another one yet again about the cost to the NHS)

Kevin
Damaged joints dance for joy when the weight comes off personal experience and observation

Not being able to eat what gives you pleasure
sorry but that excuse is just bilge
I love food, I live well, I drink too much
just not every day of the week

there is No comparison between cake or death thank you Eddie Izzard

The meaning of 'a good quality of life' is much more complex than just 'you need not to be overweight/obese

optimal health and enough money for my needs are (for me) the foundations of a good life, without these 2 things my choices and my ability to enjoy my time are limited.

If you are obese you are (by definition) not in optimal health

Yes for YOU there is no comparaison. It's not what I have seen around me though.

It's the same thing with people who have chronic illnesses. Some people will chose NOT to take medication that will help with their excruciating pain because the side effects are too bad for them.
Some people will chose not to be ressucitated (because they think living life after being resucitated isn't worth it).
And yes some people will chose to have a shorter life than not eating what they really enjoy.

What people see as as important and part of their quality of life isn't the same and there no way you can judge another person decision.
Chose for yourself and let others chose for them.

Btw, you do realise that we will all die at some point. So it's not an issue of chosing cake or death. It's an issue of chosing cake or a shorter life or a life with more physical issues etc... And maybe, as plenty of PP have shown, eating cake won't stop you from living way past the 'average lifetime', even if you are overweight.

it's not an issue of chosing cake or death

true!

we could perhaps paraphrase Kate Moss
nothing tastes as good as healthy feels

Kate moss never said that !!

The only quote I'm dead cert on from Kate Moss is "I do not need Science GCSE as I'll be a model" from said disgruntled science teacher

Lol yes, feeling healthy always feels better.

But that's something you nurture over a life time. You don't start when you are 70yo. By that time, all the damage you have done will stay with you (apart from a few 'better joints type of thing' I know).
Which is why the issue isn't cake or healthy either. Or at least not anymore.

The stress of changing a diet you've had for a lifetime isn't a small thing. What will be the effect of the stress coming from that on the body for example? Could this stress cancel the positive effect of the weight loss? etc etc
Eg It's not unheard off that a consultant will say to a chronicall ill patient not to stop smoking. Because for these particular people, the stress caused by stopping will have a huge impact on their health. Could losing weight have the same effect, make people depressed (esp ones who use that as a pick me up)?