To think if there's a time for performance parenting this wasn't it?

[ilovesooty]

Earlier today. On a shuttle bus going from the airport terminal to the plane. We were crammed in to the extent our noses were almost in each others' armpits. A couple got on with a toddler in a buggy. He immediately wanted to get out so they let him. He used my legs to pull himself upright. His father picked him up. Then both parents began very loudly "Where are we going? On an Aeroplane! Who's taking us? The pilot! How many aeroplanes can you see? Aren't you clever to count to eleven? Now shall we sing the song about holidays you learned at nursery?"

And they did.

WiBU to hope they would shut up once on the plane?

Disclaimer - lighthearted - it only annoyed me for five minutes of my life.

I think I would have been tempted to turn to the person next to me and say, "How many wankers can we see on the bus? That's right, two!"

Yes two. The little lad seemed lovely really.

worra
sooty yanbu, its bloody annoying.

Well I might have turned to the person next to me if I could have got my nose out of his armpit.

Oh gosh, it's me, isn't it?

it wasn't you unless you followed it up with "now would you like to be in charge of your very own blanket?"

See, now that would have had me asking whoever I was with if I could have my blanky and why can't I be in charge if my blanky? It's not fair!
But I'm childish as fuck and have been known to do stupid shit most of the time sometimes.

I was in my own or I might have been tempted.

I think I have been a performance parenter - a loud one to boot. In my defense a lot of it was to distract the fuckers from kicking off in public.

Because I'm a short arse, I end up wearing someone's armpit like a hat everyday on the bus to work

And I never put anyone in charge of a blanket

As a terrified nervous flier I would have probably screamed at them to shut the fuck up whilst shaking the kid off my leg!

Of course they know their child but once his dad had picked him up he didn't look as though he was about to kick off.
I just got the impression that he was a nice enough child and his parents were royal pains.

I know Scotty, I was saying it more in my defense than theres iyswim.

Sooty - sorry. My iPad changes things at the moment I press post.

beryl I'm sure we've all done similar at some point to prevent tantrums. I was singing not so long ago with DD, the difference being I knew I was being a twat, and changed the words to row row row your boat.
"Row row row your boat gently down the bus, mummy's singing a stupid song and driving everyone nuts" was what I sang. it kept her quiet and made the old man next to us laugh.

Oh iswm Beryl

oh....there's a name for this? I don't have children and I see this sometimes and wonder if they are trying to get my attention (totally doesn't work) but then I think perhaps I'm being harsh and they are just trying to liven up boring things e.g. waiting for the bus, by playing with their kids....albeit more loudly than usual.

so it's a thing?

My one attempt at performance parenting ended quite badly.

I turned to my toddler in a busy restaurant and said, "And what fruit is your sorbet made from?"

He proudly exclaimed, "BLACK CUNTS. IT'S MADE FROM BLACK CUNTS!"

I was like "Errr NO, that'll be blackcurrant!"

As you know, the more you try to argue with a toddler, the louder they get so I tried to distract him by sticking a bread stick in my ear.

Never again.

Worra damn you. I've just snorted my cocktail over the bar.

WorraLiberty Love it! How many shades of red did you go?

He did the same in the supermarket

From then on, it was firmly known as Ribena!

I think if they did it loud then fair enough for complaints but sometimes you have to ask yourself if you would want a screaming tantruming toddler or parents doing their best to entertain and pacify their toddler. Especially if it was the toddler's first plane ride, probably trying to keep him calm for the plane.

Worra.
And I meant theirs - obviously, bastard iPad.
Now I think about it I think my dts might be performance children / performing children..?
They're forever coming out with poncy shit.