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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think if there's a time for performance parenting this wasn't it?

137 replies

ilovesooty · 26/09/2015 17:35

Earlier today. On a shuttle bus going from the airport terminal to the plane. We were crammed in to the extent our noses were almost in each others' armpits. A couple got on with a toddler in a buggy. He immediately wanted to get out so they let him. He used my legs to pull himself upright. His father picked him up. Then both parents began very loudly "Where are we going? On an Aeroplane! Who's taking us? The pilot! How many aeroplanes can you see? Aren't you clever to count to eleven? Now shall we sing the song about holidays you learned at nursery?"

And they did.

WiBU to hope they would shut up once on the plane?

Disclaimer - lighthearted - it only annoyed me for five minutes of my life. Grin

OP posts:
BathshebaDarkstone · 26/09/2015 18:30

BLACK CUNTS Grin

toomuchtooold · 26/09/2015 18:33

Meh, better that than him yelling his head off out of boredom. Although I actually don't mind yelling kids either, because if nothing else they lower the bar for my kids. Yeah, the 15th rendition of Let It Go might be a bit irritating, but at least it's below 90dB.

Original poster
ilovesooty · 26/09/2015 18:39

Well as I said it was only a five minute bus ride. It did all seem a bit loud and pretentious though.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 26/09/2015 18:44

Bastard parents interacting with their child. They should have left him in his buggy where his head was at arse height. Wankers.

amazonqueen · 26/09/2015 18:48

Why are they so loud though? I really dont care what other people say to their kids and generally if they speak in a normal manner I cant hear them anyway.

So why do the fuckers SHOUT and emphasise everything? Surely the kids cant all be deaf?

Ontheflopside · 26/09/2015 18:56

I don't think that was necessarily performance parenting. Their toddler is probably in the middle of their terrible twos and likely to go off. Dd2 was terrible on planes, screaming the whole place down and I was told on two occasions that I would have to leave the plane if she didn't calm down (she screamed her head off and refused to stay buckled in her seat). I talked my mouth dry in a artificiality cheery voice and read several books to her during the next take off. I'm sue people around me thought I was mad, but it worked together with a bit of chocolate bribing and she stayed relatively calm.

Op, I think you might have been a tad judgmental and quite possibly read the situation wrong.

Original poster
ilovesooty · 26/09/2015 19:04

Oh if it had been on the plane I might have read it differently. Point taken though.

OP posts:
slowdancinginaburningroom · 26/09/2015 19:05

I think MN get confused between performance parenting and erm .... just talking to your child?

I mean if they were asking him to count the planes in French or something then yes.

But they were just parents entertaining their child. Not sure how that makes them wankers.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/09/2015 19:08

I turned to my toddler in a busy restaurant and said, "And what fruit is your sorbet made from?"

He proudly exclaimed, "BLACK CUNTS. IT'S MADE FROM BLACK CUNTS!"

Grin - wonderful, Worra and WorraJunior!!

multivac · 26/09/2015 19:08

I can't imagine why anyone would performance parent, ever.

I mean, it's not as though there are hugely popular internet forums where every parenting choice that everyone has ever made in the history of parenting is systematically criticised, insulted, sneered at, mocked, patronised or held up in horror as an example of something that only a thoroughly useless mother or father would do, is it? Nor that the same thing happens in newspapers, on TV programmes, and at any place and time where two or more mothers (and it is mothers) happen to gather together?

SilverShins · 26/09/2015 19:12

Agree slowdancing. I talk to my daughter because she likes it and it distracts her. And they could have been actually excited or something.

multivac · 26/09/2015 19:12

And also, thank you Worra - that has kicked my Saturday evening off brilliantly Grin

Maladicta · 26/09/2015 19:14

Worra feel very bad for saying it, but that's made my day

tibbawyrots · 26/09/2015 19:15

Don't know why,but that reminded me of when we went to see my SIL's first baby. She went to change him, and when she came down again her OH said "was he ok" and she replied, looking right at us, "oh yes, it was a SOGGY BOTTY not a CRAPPY NAPPY"

i swear she was looking for applause. Hmm

Sighing · 26/09/2015 19:16

Yes. It appears a lot of what I think of managing children is now apparently performance parenting. I have been guilty many times it would seem.

mrstiggy · 26/09/2015 19:19

Deference between parenting and performance parenting is simple Imo. Parenting is done for the benefit of the kids involved, performance parenting is done for the benefit of the adults around them.
You can tell the difference a mile off normally and it can be a bit in your face and annoying. Crammed into a small space with too many other humans would make it extra annoying. Yanbu.

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2015 19:20

Don't feel bad

I think it made everyone in the restaurant's day, except mine Grin

multivac · 26/09/2015 19:22

You can tell the difference a mile off

You think you can. And because it's then discussed online and anonymously, the parents don't ever get a chance to contradict your judgement.

Still, y'know, whatever makes you feel better about yourself...

Mulligrubs · 26/09/2015 19:23

Errrr, isn't that just normal parenting in the OP?

slowdancinginaburningroom · 26/09/2015 19:28

performance parenting is done for the benefit of the adults around them.

So how was that done to benefit the adults around them?

Because a child can count to 11 and sing a song? Confused hardly going to impress anyone is it?

Original poster
ilovesooty · 26/09/2015 19:29

I suppose it's one of those situations where you needed to be there.

OP posts:
ShutTheFuckUpBarbara · 26/09/2015 19:30

This thread is taking a slightly unpleasant direction. The OP said lighthearted!

It would have made me snigger OP. Especially the bit about the blanket.

mrstiggy · 26/09/2015 19:32

I don't think it makes me feel better or worse as a parent tbh multivac . We aren't talking about toddlers swigging vodka out of a baby bottle here, just a bit of performance parenting. I've done it at times, I'm pretty sure most parents have at times. It's hard not to be proud of your kids some days and show them off. Grin I think you are reading more disapproval into my tone than was intended.

Original poster
ilovesooty · 26/09/2015 19:32

It did make me grin a bit. It wasn't really a big deal. Thanks Barbara

OP posts:
MaltaVestrit · 26/09/2015 19:33

slowdancing I must look like I'm performance parenting all the time - we're a bilingual family so I'm always asking the DC to count stuff in French, or to tell me what an object is in French. I am quite clearly English myself. its not performance parenting, its just teaching my DC.

when did engaging your child in conversations, or teaching them new words for things, or encouraging an interest by explaining something properly, or asking leading questions to help them cement knowledge in their minds, become 'performance parenting'?

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